• Hello Graphic
    NEW MEMBER'S GUIDE
    INTRODUCE YOURSELF
    YOUR FAVORITE DRUGS?
    WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

  • NMI Moderators: M!$TER-ED

Oldie but newie

C

ce777

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 11, 2014
Messages
2
My name is Christopher..For many years I have used this site for strictly selfish reasons-to obtain info on drugs/substances/chemicals/ etc (all the same) in order to better inform myself or friends on using a different substance or as a guide for different M.O.A.'s of my D.O.C.'s. Im in my early 30's, born and raised in so-cal-& have been hooked on opiates since age 14 after a football injury..the classic vics turning to percs to norcs to ocs and eventually the Tar..used a dart the first time I tried black, then told myself never again. I smoked it from then on, along with crystal and was a highly functioning junky all of my 20's..it wasnt until I started using needles again in my late 20's that things spiraled..OD's, died twice in my car before medics arrived with narcan. Long story even longer, I went to long term rehab-and got sober for first time in my life..ive never felt more content, and at peace with myself-and I graduated the program after a year in this highly structured house..4 months after moving out, out of straight boredom, I picked up my D.O.C. just to use once or twice..this was on the day that I had 17 months clean...for past 6 months, its progressed heavily, and just 4 days ago I started shooting the "rabit" and the turtle" again instead of smoking..Im not here to bash on AA, it has saved so many, many friends included but I know its not for me..dont know where Im going with this-ive lost 6 CLOSE bros from high school and Jr High in the last year and a half to ODs..im scared, but in a weird masochist way, im so used to this dread and insanity..I dont know why I registered, maybe one word, or one suggestion could save me, and that would enable me to be able to save someone else-which im in no condition right now-but its the one thing i respect about AA..all of you struggling, I get it..For those who dont have direct experience, I dont mean this in an arrogant way whatsoever, but i'd much rather hear from people who have or are going thru this..ive seen the other side, and if I dont get back soon, I know the outcome. Thanks for listening to my ramble..
Christopher
 
Not looking for sympathy or validation-just looking for a spark to live again

My name is Christopher..For many years I have used this site for strictly selfish reasons-to obtain info on drugs/substances/chemicals/ etc (all the same) in order to better inform myself or friends on using a different substance or as a guide for different M.O.A.'s of my D.O.C.'s. Im in my early 30's, born and raised in so-cal-& have been hooked on opiates since age 14 after a football injury..the classic vics turning to percs to norcs to ocs and eventually the Tar..used a dart the first time I tried black, then told myself never again. I smoked it from then on, along with crystal and was a highly functioning junky all of my 20's..it wasnt until I started using needles again in my late 20's that things spiraled..OD's, died twice in my car before medics arrived with narcan. Long story even longer, I went to long term rehab-and got sober for first time in my life..ive never felt more content, and at peace with myself-and I graduated the program after a year in this highly structured house..4 months after moving out, out of straight boredom, I picked up my D.O.C. just to use once or twice..this was on the day that I had 17 months clean...for past 6 months, its progressed heavily, and just 4 days ago I started shooting the "rabit" and the turtle" again instead of smoking..Im not here to bash on AA, it has saved so many, many friends included but I know its not for me..dont know where Im going with this-ive lost 6 CLOSE bros from high school and Jr High in the last year and a half to ODs..im scared, but in a weird masochist way, im so used to this dread and insanity..I dont know why I registered, maybe one word, or one suggestion could save me, and that would enable me to be able to save someone else-which im in no condition right now-but its the one thing i respect about AA..all of you struggling, I get it..For those who dont have direct experience, I dont mean this in an arrogant way whatsoever, but i'd much rather hear from people who have or are going thru this..ive seen the other side, and if I dont get back soon, I know the outcome. Thanks for listening to my ramble..
Christopher[/QUOTE]
 
hey chris, im 55, and back in my teens and twenties, i did a lot of clean acid, mescaline, and snorted alot of coke, being adhd, coke was really a waste of my time, cuz when everyone was like geeking, i wanted to mellow out. too funny. never been to rehab, always kept my self from falling into that hole. but you, after 17mnths of being sober, seeing your friends die should of made u keep yourself from digging yourself back to hell. i right now am going through alot of mental issues, cuz ive got myself back into an almost clean life. i even stopped smoking pot, which i truely love. done it since i was twelve, its too me one of the best tension, anger release, but tired of paying the high cost for what god put on this earth for us to you healthy. i pray u finf the right fork in road to follow, my biggest addiction now is nicotoine, and i love percocets. just cant seem to have enough of them, ive worked all my life, iplayed as hard as i worked once upon a time, but my play days are done, cant even get a good drunk on with out laying in bed for two days till i feel better. getting old sucks, and when you put yourbody through hell with them good drugs which are bad for u, you will find out how much faster u grow old. take care, good meeting u
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top