Older brother might be hooked on ice

SxCrAvEr

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 18, 2002
Messages
515
Location
Sydney
Hi mod. I am not sure where this post belongs to so can you please move it to appropriate forum? I also did a search but nothing similar came up hence this thread :)

Here's the dilemma

For a while now, my family and I suspect that my brother is using ice. The symptoms include: very thin appearance, not sleeping at night, rarely eat, disappeared for a few days and 1 strong evidence is his wife found a bag of ice in the drawer and he defence was: "it belongs to my friend".
Last night, his wife called me again telling me that she found a pipe with some left over ice in it and she hid it to wait till after Xmas and confront him with it since it is Xmas and everything and she doesn't wanna make a scene

I am 95% sure that he's using it and its taking heavy tolls on his family's life and finance and his baby girl is just over 1 year old.

How can I get him to confess something like this? I know that if we confront him, he would deny. Personally, if he wants to use it, I will let him use it but its affecting others and thats bad

Bit of cultural background: we are vietnamese and have been living in Sydney for a long time now. He's still every much "Vietnamese" in every sense of the word whereas I am a bit more Westernised. With him being older, its hard for me to talk to him as he always pulls the older brother card and get defensive, but I don't care about that as its a load of crap. I want him to admit that he's using and that he needs to get clean for the sake of his daughter.

Lemme know if you need more info as I am unsure if I got my points across

Thanks guys
 
First off, where does his wife stand on this? You said she wants to wait until after Christmas to confront him. Are you afraid that he's using enough that his life is in danger? If so, maybe Christmas is to late. There have been now 2 times that it's been found in the house. I don't know of any friends that would have me "just hold on to it for now". Lol. It sounds like you are 100% sure he's doing it. How long do you think he's been doing it?

I would really point out the fact that it's hurting his family. I'm sure he wants to see his daughter grow up and he's risking that. Don't worry about the older-younger brother issue. He's lucky to have a brother who cares.

I wish you and him the best.
 
First off, where does his wife stand on this? You said she wants to wait until after Christmas to confront him. Are you afraid that he's using enough that his life is in danger? If so, maybe Christmas is to late. There have been now 2 times that it's been found in the house. I don't know of any friends that would have me "just hold on to it for now". Lol. It sounds like you are 100% sure he's doing it. How long do you think he's been doing it?

I would really point out the fact that it's hurting his family. I'm sure he wants to see his daughter grow up and he's risking that. Don't worry about the older-younger brother issue. He's lucky to have a brother who cares.

I wish you and him the best.

His wife made it clear that she wants him to stop and from what she told me, she's quit fed up and ready to up and leave. From his symptoms, and as far as I can remember back, it has to be about 1.5 years now. Appearance-wise, he's very skinny and pale so his health is compromised. I do want to bring it up and confront him but I know that he will deny and walk away. And I don't wanna use force as I am bigger than him :)

I need to figure out how to approach him

Thanks for your input though
 
Thanks everyone for your responses. I will keep you posted to see how things go. Cheers
 
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