I wonder if they sometimes randomly wonder how I am and it would be comforting to know these reminiscing times are shared.
One person in particular. A great buddy. Spent hours talking over AIM. Just dribbling shit in the muddle of the night for hours about fuck all. The time difference was 12 hours roughly.
Some international calls. We got along so great
It was very unfortunate that we both were spiralling into our own hells and I guess I didnt appreciate what he was going through and didnt realise my state of mind was obvious.
I do not regret for a second going to visit him and the others. I regret not getting healthy first. Sometimes taking a punt on getting a relationship against all odds works but this one was pretty unrealistic.
I did know deep down things would not work out but was optimistic and prepared to take a chance and seemed mutual. We were close for 5 years and just loved him as a friend and more.
Alas the risk of being let down panned out and teally really hurt. Especially how that happened and that was the rnd of any communication. Quite painful. The last email i got was basically a goodbye and due to his issues he was considering dying.
I didnt know if he was alive or dead for years until by chance his presence on earth was confirmed by mutual friend.
I had accepted he was dead or prepared to let me think he was. Despite this, I miss him and it pains that I cant talk to him and his friends who know me havent volunteered to assist so thats a clue to me that he would not want to resume our previously happy friendship. I want to know what I did or was it his own issues or both?
Anyway. Its not the worst or hardest thing to deal with. I just miss him. Maybe hes settled down elsewhere and Im a relic of the past. I have a kid now anyway and wouldnt move her out of Australia.
My other friends that I still talk to- I cant badger them but wish they would read my mind and give me answers I know would end that chapter.
Yes I still think about you. Not often. I just wish I could keep in my life no matter what is going on some people that would just be there and not disappear.
One person in particular. A great buddy. Spent hours talking over AIM. Just dribbling shit in the muddle of the night for hours about fuck all. The time difference was 12 hours roughly.
Some international calls. We got along so great
It was very unfortunate that we both were spiralling into our own hells and I guess I didnt appreciate what he was going through and didnt realise my state of mind was obvious.
I do not regret for a second going to visit him and the others. I regret not getting healthy first. Sometimes taking a punt on getting a relationship against all odds works but this one was pretty unrealistic.
I did know deep down things would not work out but was optimistic and prepared to take a chance and seemed mutual. We were close for 5 years and just loved him as a friend and more.
Alas the risk of being let down panned out and teally really hurt. Especially how that happened and that was the rnd of any communication. Quite painful. The last email i got was basically a goodbye and due to his issues he was considering dying.
I didnt know if he was alive or dead for years until by chance his presence on earth was confirmed by mutual friend.
I had accepted he was dead or prepared to let me think he was. Despite this, I miss him and it pains that I cant talk to him and his friends who know me havent volunteered to assist so thats a clue to me that he would not want to resume our previously happy friendship. I want to know what I did or was it his own issues or both?
Anyway. Its not the worst or hardest thing to deal with. I just miss him. Maybe hes settled down elsewhere and Im a relic of the past. I have a kid now anyway and wouldnt move her out of Australia.
My other friends that I still talk to- I cant badger them but wish they would read my mind and give me answers I know would end that chapter.
Yes I still think about you. Not often. I just wish I could keep in my life no matter what is going on some people that would just be there and not disappear.