Greetings Bluelighters! I have read many threads on this forum over the years as it is usually the main one that comes up on a google search, finally I am not to lazy/depressed to join.
A bit about myself I am 31 and consider myself an experienced drug user/addict, I first took psilocybin when I was 12 years old and discovered Erowid at 14ish in the early days of dial-up internets. Psychoactive chemicals have always been an area of fascination and obsession for me I grew up in a small town and was one of maybe 2 nerds who were part of the only real friend group there was, needless to say we all did a lot of drugs. I was the go to guy for information about chemicals and drug dealers would pay me in weed/iso-oil to burn them CD's or ask me questions away from the other kids as to not tarnish their reputations, however all the knowledge in the world cannot protect you from the creeping specter of mental illness and addiction...
At age 16 I became afflicted with HPPD after around 5 months of thinking that I must have inherited schizophrenia I stumbled across the Stormloader forum which was the birthplace of HPPDonline, to any fellow HPPDers or people who were Stormloader alumni that might be here it truly saved me in some ways. I got deported to my aunts place in the capital after being hospitalized for the first time because of suicidal ideation where I admitted to having used methamphetamine among many other things, although this was all experimentation I was promptly labeled a drug addict and sent off to attend NA meetings from said aunts place. What I didn't mention though was that I was actually addicted to opiates already from a job I worked at from 15-16 for an Indian family who were all addicted to codeine, they would actually leave t3's for me to steal I'm not 100% sure of their motivation but I think it was despite all the abuse they threw at me I was one of the most competent employees they could find. Percs were just hitting the scene too, this was the start of something that I could never have prepared for...
Ok I will stop with the history lesson about me that is TLDR nobody cares but those were important events. Since than I have used 'most' drugs commonly used and several rarities my experimentation is over now I will not take some RC just to see what it does. I am a junkie but have not used heroin in 4-5 months the main struggle I am having with drugs right now is a: how to medicate pain but not go off the deep end b: Ketamine is a wonder drug for my depression but it is also highly addictive, I still use IV K but need to stop for financial reasons, if I have to get some kizzo to stop me from an hero I will though.
I am diagnosed with Bi-polar affective disorder type-2, OCD, poly-substance abuse disorder and HPPD.
I suffer from severe asthma, chronic pain (waiting on more MRI but possible osteoarthritis) and a lot of digestive problems like hiatal hernia.
Currently I am un-employed and on disability but am returning to school which has been my lifelong dream, the obvious major for me would be organic chemistry but I would love to be a field biologist.
Hopefully I can add to many discussions I want to help people but also I would really like to have some friends, Bluelight has been very helpful to me over the years it's the only place I see answers to questions like "how to inject this specific tamper proof medication" or interactions between multiple obscure psychoactive plants. I am aware of the braggart nature of some of my sentences but this is just facts about me, I am not new to the internet or drugs by any means but I know that does not make me any different that the next new member. There are many stories I hope to share and many I hope to read, thank you for being here!
PS: if you read all of this I you.
TLDR; I'm a very experienced smart ass drug user, addict and enthusiast with mental illness/chronic pain looking for friends and to learn more/stop driving people around me crazy because I always want to talk about mind altering things or unleash hypo-manic caffeine fueled conversations on un-suspecting normies.
A bit about myself I am 31 and consider myself an experienced drug user/addict, I first took psilocybin when I was 12 years old and discovered Erowid at 14ish in the early days of dial-up internets. Psychoactive chemicals have always been an area of fascination and obsession for me I grew up in a small town and was one of maybe 2 nerds who were part of the only real friend group there was, needless to say we all did a lot of drugs. I was the go to guy for information about chemicals and drug dealers would pay me in weed/iso-oil to burn them CD's or ask me questions away from the other kids as to not tarnish their reputations, however all the knowledge in the world cannot protect you from the creeping specter of mental illness and addiction...
At age 16 I became afflicted with HPPD after around 5 months of thinking that I must have inherited schizophrenia I stumbled across the Stormloader forum which was the birthplace of HPPDonline, to any fellow HPPDers or people who were Stormloader alumni that might be here it truly saved me in some ways. I got deported to my aunts place in the capital after being hospitalized for the first time because of suicidal ideation where I admitted to having used methamphetamine among many other things, although this was all experimentation I was promptly labeled a drug addict and sent off to attend NA meetings from said aunts place. What I didn't mention though was that I was actually addicted to opiates already from a job I worked at from 15-16 for an Indian family who were all addicted to codeine, they would actually leave t3's for me to steal I'm not 100% sure of their motivation but I think it was despite all the abuse they threw at me I was one of the most competent employees they could find. Percs were just hitting the scene too, this was the start of something that I could never have prepared for...
Ok I will stop with the history lesson about me that is TLDR nobody cares but those were important events. Since than I have used 'most' drugs commonly used and several rarities my experimentation is over now I will not take some RC just to see what it does. I am a junkie but have not used heroin in 4-5 months the main struggle I am having with drugs right now is a: how to medicate pain but not go off the deep end b: Ketamine is a wonder drug for my depression but it is also highly addictive, I still use IV K but need to stop for financial reasons, if I have to get some kizzo to stop me from an hero I will though.
I am diagnosed with Bi-polar affective disorder type-2, OCD, poly-substance abuse disorder and HPPD.
I suffer from severe asthma, chronic pain (waiting on more MRI but possible osteoarthritis) and a lot of digestive problems like hiatal hernia.
Currently I am un-employed and on disability but am returning to school which has been my lifelong dream, the obvious major for me would be organic chemistry but I would love to be a field biologist.
Hopefully I can add to many discussions I want to help people but also I would really like to have some friends, Bluelight has been very helpful to me over the years it's the only place I see answers to questions like "how to inject this specific tamper proof medication" or interactions between multiple obscure psychoactive plants. I am aware of the braggart nature of some of my sentences but this is just facts about me, I am not new to the internet or drugs by any means but I know that does not make me any different that the next new member. There are many stories I hope to share and many I hope to read, thank you for being here!
PS: if you read all of this I you.
TLDR; I'm a very experienced smart ass drug user, addict and enthusiast with mental illness/chronic pain looking for friends and to learn more/stop driving people around me crazy because I always want to talk about mind altering things or unleash hypo-manic caffeine fueled conversations on un-suspecting normies.
