Old Anxiety Problems Returned After First Time Use Of Cocaine

[tek75]

Hi,
I've been drug free for 10 years and had to give up due to bad anxiety issues. The only drugs I've used are mdma and cannabis but they caused me bad anxiety. I've made a full recovery and have been anxiety free for the last 3 - 4 years.

9 days ago on a Saturday night I stupidly decided to snort a couple of lines of coke which I imagine was about 200 - 250mg worth when drunk. I was insanely high for almost 3 hours as the last line was I guess 100 - 125mg.

The next day I had a horrible comedown and the old anxiety/panic returned again, I felt horribly agitated and could not concentrate on anything. I had some really negative thoughts about nearly everything and had this horrible feeling of impending doom, almost like suffocation and feeling like I was going to lose my mind. I assumed this was just a normal comedown?

The following couple of days after that, last Monday/Tuesday, I felt back to normal but not quite right and Weds afterwards had no issues. Lucky escape I thought to myself and promised I'd never do again! Learnt my lesson!

However yesterday and especially today the anxiety came full on again, loads of negative thoughts and really thinking to myself that this one time cocaine use has messed me up again anxiety-wise and my last 10 years of recovery has all been ruined!

Questions are 1: is this a normal reaction to coke and how long will it last? Am I still on a comedown from this even after 9 days?

2: Can one time coke use bring on an anxiety disorder or is this all in my head? I'm really hoping this will pass and I will be back to normal. In between these anxious states I feel fine.

Being on holiday this week and being lost in my thoughts isn't helping much.

Many thanks.

 

[Cdkman]

U need to calm your mind and stay grounded..one time use can't really hurt physically but If u stay in the head space of the comedown u can make it last..the Coke isn't doin this to u its you freaking out that u brought back your anxiety order

everything will be fine..try to find something relaxing to calm your mind and bring u back to baseline anxiety wise

good luck my friend

 

[deos68]

think my therapist called stuff like that triggers whether its an altered state of mind or a memory thatll trigger anxiety
sorta of saying you prob had anxiety there all along but the coke brought it to the surface
im sure the stimulant effects of the coke triggered your brain to think you were having an anxiety attack

as stated above acknowledge that it was the coke and nothing else that caused the anxiety
just dont let it scare you

 

[tek75]

U need to calm your mind and stay grounded..one time use can't really hurt physically but If u stay in the head space of the comedown u can make it last..the Coke isn't doin this to u its you freaking out that u brought back your anxiety order

everything will be fine..try to find something relaxing to calm your mind and bring u back to baseline anxiety wise

good luck my friend

Thank you for your kind words Cdkman, really appreciate it. I just hope it goes away quickly.


To deos68 - 'it was the coke and nothing else that cause the anxiety' - this is my problem I think. I'm blaming the coke for my problems this week. I took 2 big lines of what I was told was very good coke and I was wasted for 3 hours! I thought coke only lasted 30mins tops!

I'm just really worried, like you say, that the coke has triggered anxiety again for me but can one time use of a fairly large amount of cocaine be a trigger for bad anxiety?

I assumed all along you would have to be a regular heavy user for these type of anxiety problems to appear, not just one time or occasional use.

 

[theclaw]

Your first time using coke is gonna last much longer than average duration of even a semi-regular (few times a year) user.

 

[herbavore]

Anxiety by its very nature is self-perpetuating. You have an experience that makes you feel fear and then you begin to cement it in place in your mind with all sorts of secondary fearful thoughts (I've damaged my brain, I've done something permanent, in this case). The advice from the above posters to simply try to release your fear about the experience is sound. It sounds like you have a good grip on what you need (and don't need!) so just continue to listen to your body and know that after 10 years sober you may have triggered an even deeper fear of returning to the anxious state of the past which was connected to your cannabis and mdma use. The best thing you can do is say, 'lesson learned' and look for things to do that engage you.

 

[tek75]

Herbavore - thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it.

As you're a senior moderator have you heard of people with panic/anxiety reactions of this type with a fairly small amount of good quality coke (200-250mg) because if it is very unusual it will be easier to tell myself it is indeed all in my head?

It's just weird that after the comedown which lasted a day or 2 went away and got almost 100% better thereafter as had no anxiety at all but then today and yesterday it came back with full force. Almost like a rebound effect 9 or 10 days later which has got me worried.

 

[tek75]

Thank you your previous replies but unfortunately I'm still struggling although it seems to have got a bit better the last few days.

If I'm kept busy, with friends it's not too bad but by myself these anxious negative thoughts manifest again. I can't seem to be able to control them for long, it comes in waves.

Since Monday and every day thereafter this week for 5 days now, the symptoms seem to go completely away after about 6 - 7pm and return when I wake up after 9am. Seemed really strange. I have taken high dose B-100 B vitamins since March before bedtime and not had a problem and they improved my mood a lot in the last 3 months. I wondered that maybe now I can no longer tolerate them since I took the coke and they're could be causing my anxiety?

It sounds silly but I stopped taking these b vits yesterday and do feel a bit better today. Maybe it's in my head. Have any of you heard of b vitamins causing anxiety issues or mild depression like I've been experiencing?