Oh no, I love girl more than she loves me!

[Issac Sinclair]

First of all shes an ex, and we're getting back together... kind of.

She broke up with me and that really devastated me. Then recently I had sex with her and we're kinda together. I always liked her more than she liked me, she never texts me back or anything and says she does that to everyone, which she does but still I'd like to be an exception.

She said she hasn't been with anyone else, I'm gonna believe her since she wasn't ever really that sexual, I always initiated it and she usually got into it, but again I'd do everything. She is also really tight so I doubt she's been having sex. She never really seemed like she enjoyed random hookups and didn't have a lot of boyfriends but

I feel like I'm being used, and she and I know we're not good for each other, and she wanted to just be friends, but that didn't work out because we'd get mad at each other and delete each other's numbers. I'd like to be FwB with her but I don't know how to do that. I'm constantly massaging her and just being around her, and I'm sure thats not healthy but I don't know how to fix it. She motivates me to do things and I'm pretty lazy but she has a good heart. She tells me things that are insightful and helpful, but at the same time she doesn't really do things that represent love.

I tried talking to other girls and one of them likes me the same way that I like my ex, she texts me every day, and I answer after a few hours or so and I almost feel like its a mirroring of the situation. I tried to not like her so much but I can't help it! I've talked to other girls and I just don't feel anything for them. Its like she gives me an asshole shield, one which makes me aloof because I'm thinking about her only!

What do I dooooo?!

 

[justinsayno]

I think you already know what to do

Forget her, move on.

Give it a month, maybe two or three and you will be wondering what all the fuss is about.

Looking at the last paragraph... are you hoping to go from this relationship and straight away find someone you're really into ?
Maybe thats not going to happen. Maybe you just need to work out how to be content as a single person for a while. Intense infatuation / love [ ewww ] is a pretty rare thing. Most people only find it a few times in life. You've found it but its clearly not worked out, she doesnt sound that into you. But you will find it again.

Ive seen this situation with friends many times. I'd wager that when she does find the right person she will text them like crazy and fuck thier brains out every chance she gets.
It would be a kind thing to back off and give her the space to find the person thats right for her.

Or...

Just back off for a bit, stop the texting etc and see what happens ? give her a chance to miss you and see what life is like without out you, if she does have any feelings for you she will notice that youre not making the effort.

Me i'd go with the former rather than the latter. Plenty more fish in the sea and being single is pretty awesome really


looking again at your last paragraph - so nobody else compares to her ? Are you sure ? Is it possible that you've fallen for an idealized, romanticized version of her rather than the real person ?
She may well be an awesome person but like everyone else shes flawed and full of annoying habits, maybe you're not allowing yourself to see them as its easier to want something you cant have than be brave and enter a new chapter in your life ?

 

[Comrade Kane]

You know like a man is just a woman with an oversized clit and stretched labia with balls inside the labia and zipped up along the perineum rather than unzipped like in a woman.

 

[angeleyes]

You know like a man is just a woman with an oversized clit and stretched labia with balls inside the labia and zipped up along the perineum rather than unzipped like in a woman.

I couldn't have said it better myself.


In the end you have to be happy; does she make you happy more than she does your head in?


You have to seriously think about this you know her better than we do.

Trust your instincts and do what you want to do, if she makes you happy then be with her but if she continuously treats you like shit don't cop that.

 

[Issac Sinclair]

These are really good replies.

She does make me happy, but its infatuation. I started seeing her last year around march and I still am really in love with her or at least the idea of her. She makes me happy, and until someone better comes along, she will continue to. I think shes a great girl, but not girlfriend material for me. We broke up after valentines day already, and I'm still stuck on her!

After I had sex with another girl, I thought I'm not in love with her no more. But it didn't last! It came back stronger than ever. Shes not perfect but she's unique.

I think I can sum it up by saying she's a huge bitch that hates me, but then I have sex with her and its like its ok. She hates me but has sex with me! Its so addicting to know that despite her not liking me, we have sex, and then I feel like I won. Like after all I still got it in. I do really care about her too.

I'm trying to think and use like Occam's Razor. I don't want to make it complicated. We're not together, theres nothing official, but I don't really want to talk to other girls. That the part thats sated. I'm thinking maybe I should just have sex with her and hang out with other girls for the emotional side.

 

[T. Calderone]

You say you love her more than she loves you, you can't keep your mind off her and don't feel anything for other girls. It could be the both of you putting up this shield as you say. This "friends with benefits" thing is so much talked about and hyped up but mostly ends up with one person getting hurt. People say this probably because if it doesn't work out, hey it was only sex (I'm being sarcastic) really they don't want to get hurt or don't want a commitment.

The fact that you've been with other girls yet still want her more than ever indicates you have strong feelings for her. You're acknowledging them here but not with her? A lot of people are scared to say "I love you" and that's ok but you have to ask yourself how long you will let this go on for? It would bother me if the person I love seems to hate me but just has sex with me and really doesn't make sense when you think about it.

Don't hang out with other girls hoping to find emotional attachment, that's not too fair to them unless you're completely truthful and they agree to it. "Someone better" is not going to fall into your lap. If you find this girl not compatible, stop seeing her. I'm guessing you're fairly young and might be a self esteem issue. But you can't sit on the fence here, be proactive in your quest for happiness. Start by telling her how you feel and see how she responds, you might be surprised.

 

[angeleyes]

So long as you're happy Isaac, maybe the sexual frustration/tension between you two comes to a climax (not being purposely ironic here) but after that explosion everything is back to being fine?

Have you noticed the more frequently you two have sex you feel like you have a better relationship with her?

 

[Issac Sinclair]

I do tell her, and she doesn't tell me it back because she doesn't feel that way. She hates almost everything about me besides sex and me buying her stuff. She isn't dependent on me at all and its hard to keep a girl that doesn't really need you.

I know she isn't the right girl for me, and she knows that I'm not the right guy for her too. Opposites attract... sometimes but they rarely stick together. Too much friction and uncommon similar interests.

Another girl likes me a bit too much and I don't like her back. I don't want to hurt her feeling and I don't know how to express myself. It isn't fair for that other girl but I'm afraid she will go crazy and stalk me or something. I think the best way to get rid of a girl is to make her hate you so she won't try to get you back. It happens with a lot of breakups. If you break up with someone they will want to get back together, but if you cheat on someone they will be more likely to leave on their own. Its a bad example but you guys understand right?

And yes, when we have sex everything is better, she acts nicer. She broke up with me after we didn't have sex for a while and she just stopped needing me.

 

[Comrade Kane]

This other woman who likes you, is she good looking and got her wits, then go with her instead at least you knows then you won't be left heartbroken if it doesn't work out.

As for this other one I think maybe you fear she hates you and you're being paranoid but if you can't be willing to make the effort needed to get back with her and be with her then you mustn't feel as strong as you say you do so just move on. It's very rare that two people truly are too different to be together or can't find things in common.

I mean if you truly hate everything she likes and one of the things she likes is breathing clean fresh air...

 

[T. Calderone]

Well you told her you love her and she doesn't say it back? What's your incentive to stick with her? (besides sex) You can find someone else. You say you know someone who likes you too much. There has to be a compromise coming down the line. You havn't found the right person yet.

But stop seeing and having sex with someone who can't treat you right. There seems to be something co-dependent in your relationship. I know it when I see it believe me. For whatever reason, you are drawn to the person who treats you the worst. If need be, it's time to consider being alone with no girl at all. This way you don't hurt somebody needlessly.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

I always liked her more than she liked me, she never texts me back or anything and says she does that to everyone, which she does but still I'd like to be an exception.

I feel like I'm being used, and she and I know we're not good for each other...

I think shes a great girl, but not girlfriend material for me.

I think I can sum it up by saying she's a huge bitch that hates me, but then I have sex with her and its like its ok.

We're not together, theres nothing official, ....

I do tell her, and she doesn't tell me it back because she doesn't feel that way. She hates almost everything about me besides sex and me buying her stuff.

I know she isn't the right girl for me, and she knows that I'm not the right guy for her too.

I think you know the answer. And it kind of sounds like you guys are always FWB, no?

 

[Morphling]

If she hates you, and only likes your money and the sex, that more or less makes her a prostitute. That is not a relationship. That is not a girlfriend.

Do you normally like to be abused?

 

[Animal Mother]

I'm of the opinion that he doesn't know anything else. Think about it. When you get treated like shit, then read into sex the wrong way..
by comparison to a normal relationship, the high seems higher. He subconsciously interprets sex as an intimate bonding and doesn't understand how she can't.

Dude. Take solace in that you are a great lay.

 

[Issac Sinclair]

There are some things we can do together like watching TV or something, but that's not really social nor anything that I can't do with anyone else. I think we are just kinda like exclusive FWB? Its kinda weird now that I think of it. I don't think of her as a hooker because I don't buy her stuff to make her have sex, she genuinely enjoys it and she tries to be helpful in an insulting way, so its not just her using me. Its hard to say no to her! I guess should look elsewhere but I just feel so satisfied.

I have great friends. I have sex with a hot girl. I feel like I'm probably compensating by looking for an emotional bond with another girl.

And I don't really know any better. I'm not exactly afraid of her cheating/sleeping since I'm probably the guy she'd be cheating with. I just don't know what to do.

 

[pofacedhoe]

what did your relationship consist of besides sex???

 

[T. Calderone]

Isaac, there has got to be other girls you can have sex with. If she treats you shabbily, that cancels out any hotness in my opinion.

 

[Issac Sinclair]

I haven't found any more girls I liked as much. And I'm putting up with it just because its so addicting to have someone talk shit all the time, hate me, and dislike pretty much everything, then I pull her panties down and shes in love.

8(

It makes me go crazy!!

 

[T. Calderone]

Well, maybe you are really in love with this girl and she seems to enjoy sex with you. Do you think she really hates you though? She might just be naturally bitchy. You said you're getting back together, sort of. What does this involve? Do you sleep over, cook meals together and regular "couples" stuff?

 

[Issac Sinclair]

Well yesterday was like this:

I cooked, she ate it. We watched a show and then we had sex and I slept over. She asked me for some drugs and complained that I didn't cap them up. She slapped me a few times and hit me, and then when I pretended to be hurt, she said "I'm so sorry!"

I've always had the feeling that she would be the perfect girl on the side. Not relationship material, but not unincorporatable into life.

Ahh I don't know why I'm telling strangers online about this, but I don't know what to say to her.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

Lol. ^ It seems like you enjoy her company and your relationship with her. Why not enjoy it till it lasts?

Of course you know, it'll be that much harder to get into a serious relationship with another girl.