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Oh my God

Pain Train

Pain Train

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 24, 2014
Messages
14
My cat just picked up a pen and wrote this on the wall..

"I can finally see. There is a consciousness that is everywhere. Its like my eyes have opened for the first time in my life. None of this matters, There is so much more than what we see and feel and touch. I can let go of everything. I can let go of the pain and fear that has ruled me all my life. All these things that I thought where so important, all these things I was afraid of, proud of, obsessed with, they are all meaningless. All this wasted time and energy on trying to gain material things, trying to earn fancy titles and climb to positions of power, I see now how futile that all is. Oh my god, I think i have finally found a way to live the peaceful fulfilling life I have always craved. All the demons that have held me down all my life have been shaken loose. All the death I experienced as a US Marine, all the childhood trauma, all the fear, pain anxiety and hate, gone. Just f***ing gone. I can finally stand up straight and see the light on the horizon. It is frightening, and beautiful and amazing. This is so new to me, I feel like a fawn that was just born deep in the woods, standing on unsteady legs. I dont know what lies ahead, but I know its beautiful. I know I am letting go, of everything. My fear, my pride, my ego. All of it. I really believe some of you know the truth of what im saying. Something in the back of my mind told me to reach out to you, to share this with you. Im at the beginning of a great journey, it will be incredible, but I will need a guide."

So yeah, my cat just had a experience to say the least. There is so much knowledge and insight exploding in his head right now i think his little fuzzy head will explode."

Any advice?
 
Sounds like your cat has been possessed by some other-worldly entity.

You should probably get it looked at.
 
Well, I'd advise you in two regards:

First, here at Bluelight we don't use obliquely self-referential euphemisms (e.g., SWIM, my cat, some dude, etc.). This is partly because it will not protect you, and also because it inherently reduces the clarity of one's posts.

Second, I'd advise you keep doing what you are doing, because it appears to be working. Meaning, specifically, that in writing the post above (which is beautiful and totally fucking right on, btw. I really feel that I feel ya...) you have expressed some profound insights, observations, awakenings, transformations, and more--and you've expressed it brilliantly.

I sincerely believe that if you just keep opening yourself to the purposeful, reflective, and deliberate expression and exploration of the feelings, experiences, and perceptions you're now tuning into, that it will unfold in the best way possible. Especially if you continue to thoughtfully consider, communicate, and share these insights and emotions with others, which you've already started to do above with eloquence and intelligence.

Good job, I'd say. As you were, buddy...
 
This is the first feedback I have had on what im experiencing, and I have to say I wanted to hug my monitor when I read it. Thank you, with all the gratitude that these two little words are capable of conveying, Thank You. I am elated, but im also frightened. This is so new, and so powerful (i feel like im going to blow apart) and I have never been so excited to be alive. I see a long journey ahead, and some people will think im crazy, but I don't mind. There is so much I want to share that I have experienced so far, but im still trying to understand it myself. All I know is, I finally understand that all the horror and hardship I have faced in my life has been to prepare me for this moment, and I have to say, looking back on the worse times of my life I now savor every pain filled moment of every terrible memory I have, for without that, I wouldn't have this. This peace, this understanding that what we see and feel is just a speck, and infinitesimal speck compared to what surrounds us, to what we cant see.

For the first time in my 36 years of life, I know what its like to feel no fear, no anger, no sadness. I feel as if I could loose everything I love at this very moment and go to sleep with a smile on my face. It doesn't make sense, but there it is. I have just been paid in full for my lifetime of pain, and the payment was generous.

Feel like I need to grab hold of something so I dont float away lol.

By the way, this experience started four days ago and I have not taken anything since, but it hasn't dissipated at all, in fact it seems to be getting stronger.



Mercurious said:
Well, I'd advise you in two regards:

First, here at Bluelight we don't use obliquely self-referential euphemisms (e.g., SWIM, my cat, some dude, etc.). This is partly because it will not protect you, and also because it inherently reduces the clarity of one's posts.

Second, I'd advise you keep doing what you are doing, because it appears to be working. Meaning, specifically, that in writing the post above (which is beautiful and totally fucking right on, btw. I really feel that I feel ya...) you have expressed some profound insights, observations, awakenings, transformations, and more--and you've expressed it brilliantly.

I sincerely believe that if you just keep opening yourself to the purposeful, reflective, and deliberate expression and exploration of the feelings, experiences, and perceptions you're now tuning into, that it will unfold in the best way possible. Especially if you continue to thoughtfully consider, communicate, and share these insights and emotions with others, which you've already started to do above with eloquence and intelligence.

Good job, I'd say. As you were, buddy...
Click to expand...
 
Can I say here? I dont want to violate the rules. Im happy to tell, but believe it gives a different experience to each person according to their life experiences. Ill send you a pm just to be safe.
 
As far as I know, whatever it is that you want to divulge, you can share it here pretty freely, if you choose, provided you don't discuss prices/sources/etc. Whatever it is just keep it low key, yet clear; but, I don't get the sense that you'll have any problem with that. And I am also very interested to hear anything about what you've been going through, or anything else related to this process you're willing to share here.

(Not sure if you tried to send me a message, but I think us greenlighters might be restricted in that capacity. Anyway, I'll have to double check on that one....)
 
Pain Train said:
Can I say here? I dont want to violate the rules. Im happy to tell, but believe it gives a different experience to each person according to their life experiences. Ill send you a pm just to be safe.
Click to expand...

Maybe, you are perpetually optimistic after all. If your enlightening experience involved illegal drugs (LSD..) avoid personally identifying details. You could protect your privacy more with TOR. https://www.torproject.org/download/download-easy.html.en

We can't put psychedelic experiences into words easily. In the beginning this is especially true. If you want to, you could attempt sharing your experience. I think you're describing several different concepts. The first is euphoria and this is beautiful. Lay and relish in this sensation. Maybe you are going to get progressively sweeter over the next several days.

Wikipedia said:
Euphoria (/juːˈfɔəriə/; from Ancient Greek εὐφορία, from εὖ eu, "well", and φέρω pherō, "to bear") (semantically opposite of dysphoria) is medically recognized as a mental and emotional condition in which a person experiences intense feelings of well-being, elation, happiness, excitement and joy.[1]
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euphoria

You will be progressively integrating your experience. You will change your opinion on some ideas and keep others. I have questions.
Do you think feeling sad is different than being sad? Do you think feeling happy is different than being happy? Do you have a choice in how you interpret your past? Do you have a choice in how you feel about your past?

When I had a similar experience I was reading Siddhartha (1922) by Hermann Hesse.
http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/2500 (Free)
Have you read Siddhartha? Siddhartha is a good novel. You should read Siddhartha.
 
You sound like me after my first experience with LSD at the age of 27.

I had been through a pretty rough time the preceding 18 months but had finally gone to talk to someone about it, we were starting to make some real progress, but it was hard going (as any real personal growth is). Then , one weekend at a festival with some friends I dropped acid for the first time- everything fell into place, and I mean everything, I felt exactly as you described above. It lasted weeks, and although it did fade, it hasn't disappeared. I truly am a happier person for the experience.

Enjoy it, cherish the feeling, but remember that like physical progress, it has to be nurtured. Fortunately, just like physical fitness it also gets easier the longer you do it, eventually it will become effortless to maintain the change. I'm still working on it.

Sorry if I rambled on a bit, but I get so excited when I read posts like these, who doesn't love knowing there are others going through this experience!
 
Pain train did you catch that PM somehow your PM went to me. Just saying in case you were trying to reach someone else who didn't get it.
 
When you feel sad, you are feeling the sensation of an external energy being projected towards you from its source. When you are being sad, the light inside of you is being smothered by the intrusion of negativity. Dimming the illumination within your consciousness, pushing it down and surrounding it with darkness. When we let darkness in (pain, fear, rage, pride) it chokes out the light inside of us, poisoning our soul like a cancer and blowing out the points of light in our life that bring us joy, like a black demon blowing out candle flames in order to spread misery and pain while hidden in darkness.

As for interpreting the past, all I can say is, it doesn't matter! Our lives are nothing more than a series of experiences, experiences that have been engineered with the purpose of refining and enlightening us as a species. What you experience, what you feel is what matters. The singularity, the universal consciousness that connects all living things is reaching out and touching us all. Humanity moving towards transcendence. Buddhist Monks have known this for thousands of years, and have been preparing. Cultures all across the world share a unique understanding of this universal connection, this unlocking of the worlds deepest secrets. Ancient cultures, Egypt, Babylon, Sumerien, Aztec, they knew. For THOUSANDS of years these cultures, separated by centuries have shared an understanding of what im speaking about, and some of them achieved the ultimate state of enlightenment. Entire civilizations vanished overnight, confusing modern day scientists and archaeologists for they cant comprehend how an entire culture could up and vanish without a trace. These cultures transcended, as we must all transcend eventually.

Everything you do, see, hear, feel think and touch serves this singular purpose. Humanity transcending, reaching an ultimate state of enlightenment that will signal a new chapter in human evolution, a universal enlightenment that will draw all of us together and combine us, pull us together until there is no us, just one. A single being, with all the shared experiences of humanity, with all the emotions, memories and histories from the time the earth was formed until the end, from the alpha to the omega.

That is what I see, that is the truth as I know it at this very moment.
 
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Peacephrog1972 said:
The little Buddha has been enlightened :->
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Oh I wish! some day that will happen. In this moment I have been awakened. My eyes are now open and I can see that the path to enlightenment is a journey that will span many life times.
 
"You are on the path. You don't have to know where it leads, just follow." (Deputy Hawk, Twin Peaks)

I had a similar experience when I was 25 (now 28) and I'm still working on fully integrating. As you have indicated, I also believe it will take several lifetimes.
"Be Here Now" from Richard Alpert/Ram Dass helped immensely since he describes his own journey so honestly, with the many neurotic pitfalls and also lots of humor.
The fact that he had used psychedelics only makes it more understandable, IMO.
Last sentence of the introduction is "I don't care about what you read in the Saturday Evening Post about LSD, this is the story of a human being who is undergoing all these experiences."

I'll post a few pages from the book to make you warm :)

laterneverexists.gif


consciousness.jpg


nochoice.gif


2hdtmcg.gif


planningfuture.jpg


unbearable_compassion.jpg


Big fan of the book as you might imagine ;).
 
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Pain Train said:
All these things that I thought where so important, all these things I was afraid of, proud of, obsessed with, they are all meaningless. All this wasted time and energy on trying to gain material things, trying to earn fancy titles and climb to positions of power, I see now how futile that all is.
Click to expand...
Just goes to show how differently psychedelics affect people. I've probably tripped 100 times in the past year and not once have I thought like this. Actually I am now a lot more materialistic and money driven than I was before I started tripping very regularly. Then again I don't consider this to be a bad thing because my quality of life and overall happiness is a lot better for it.
 
AA357 said:
Just goes to show how differently psychedelics affect people. I've probably tripped 100 times in the past year and not once have I thought like this. Actually I am now a lot more materialistic and money driven than I was before I started tripping very regularly. Then again I don't consider this to be a bad thing because my quality of life and overall happiness is a lot better for it.
Click to expand...

Each person has to walk their own path in their own way. Im glad you have found a way to live a life that is fulfilling to you. If the way you live brings you joy, then live it to its fullest and love every second of it. My experience was for myself alone, yours was for you alone. One is not better than the other, one does not hold greater value than the other. The important thing is that you had an experience that turned you down a path that had led you to living a more fulfilling life, That is what matters.

I am happy for you.
 
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