Officially a Fuckup

[NewbieFuckup]

Was hanging out with my friends
We drank until it all went to our heads
I had a bunch of acid in the car
Which was apparently not too far

Split a dose with one friend
sold one to another
Poor me could not sleep on that shit
And someone needed a ride real quick
He thought I wasn't too bad
But I don't even remember any of it

How the fuck did I end up in the principle's office
I don't know where my car is
But I sure as hell know I was trapped in a mess
They searched my car right on the school premises
They tried taking me to the hospital for a bunch of blood tests

I refused to pee in a cup,
but I knew it didn't matter
I was shit out of luck

I got kicked out of school
Letters telling me how I was acting like a fool
Passed out in the parking lot
Checked out by a school cop
When asked for my school ID
I gave him a cigarette pack,
but at least it was empty
One less reason for mom to be mad at me

At least I don't have to hide it any more
At least I'm not known as the school whore
My teachers don't expect me to be the best
Now all my good grades leave them more impressed

Full scholarships in the mail
People were telling me to apply to Yale
But now I am free to be whatever I want to be
Because I'm just a fuck up.

 

[DigitalH]

That is a terrible way to look at things man, atleast you know how to express your self through verse.

 

[pasha]

legal discussion is not permitted on this website. seeing as how you need help on other matters and that you've written a poem i'm going to move this to words for now. if you'd like it moved to the dark side instead for some moral support, please send me a private message.

homeless -> words

 

[NewbieFuckup]

Thanks! It was kind of just an introduction/first post ever on this site. I guess I should have looked a bit more before deciding where to put it.

 

[NewbieFuckup]

But I guess I'll add to it while I'm at it...

Give me a hug, give me a drug,
Where's all the love?
After I got caught,
I can't get squat.
And no, I don't want pot.
I'm worrying about drug tests,
I don't need any more charges.
Suspended from school indefinitely,
but I can still graduate so that's fine by me.
I didn't get along with those kids anyway.
It was my first time even seeing the principal,
but now all of my teachers look at me
like I'm some kind of criminal
But shit, I am, technically...

Yup, I'm just a fuck up that ran out of luck.

 

[pasha]

you're not a fuck up. it's the disgusting constant war on drugs that forces you to feel that way.

good second poem.

 

[NewbieFuckup]

Thanks! I appreciate it. I really do feel like such a fuck up. They let it get into the police blotter and now I feel like everyone that looks at me just knows exactly what happened. I can't wait til this whole thing blows over and I get out of this town...

Under-aged drinking
but fuck
Why am I always the one driving?
I’m not religious
but I’d like to know what god’s plan is
There has to be something
because my recklessness has never led
to me dying
no matter how much it seems like
I’m trying

Truth be told
I don’t ever want to get old
I’d rather lay out in the snow and get
murdered by the cold

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

I'd rather have you live and learn to write better. To see the world with a broader perspective, and to keep writing things.

You're gonna die anyway regardless of what your GPA is or what your mom and dad say, life gets better and easier once you stop buying into the paradigm that you are defined by comparisons with other people. Authority is to be questioned, the chief reason being that they ARE authority. Anyone who claims to know what's right, absolutely right, and to know what's absolutely right for YOU, deserves to be slapped with a rotting meat pie in the face, and then debated down until they admit they don't know any better than anyone else.

That's not to say you'll benefit from over the top drug use, but people who want the best for you often times are fuck ups themselves, don't be fooled by the fact that they are trying to impress the world with a haircut or smart clothes.

Dont be so hard on yourself, that's what kills people more than anything. Resentment is the worst thing for any person, and angst is merely another word for it. I think art movements based on angst and resentment are trying to over power these evil thoughts by singing and writing about them, but a lot of people miss this, and just focus on the shitty aspect of it. Suicide is a pretty terrible way to go.

It clearly sounds like you have a lack of true support because people think going to Yale is more important than being grounded and happy. A lot of pressure is put on young people to participate in a fucked up system, but so many people get thrust into the world after highschool without ever once having figured out who the fuck they are as people. Also the term "successful" has replaced virtue in the country. The only thing that corporations are legally obligated to do is to maximize profits at the expense of quality and society (after all, doesn't a society with more iphones=a society with more happiness?...). This leads to the frat party style world of Wall Street (If you think you're a fuck up, just look at your average financial expert, I guarantee they've done drugs you've never heard of to a degree you never thought humanly possible, all just to say they did), and this fucked up world is what drives and shapes the society we're in.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Your parents probably really do want whats best for you, but as far as what that really is, they are grasping for the right answer just as much as anyone.

BTW I'm from New York too, I think it's the shitty winters and bad television that drives people crazy.

 

[cj]

"I'd rather lay out in the snow and get murdered by the cold"

That's a great line. You got skill. And don't worry bout the legal trouble it will blow over!