I was informed today of some information about stillnox (ambien) which I have been prescribed. I am supposed to take two at night. It says nowhere on the pamphlet this information that was given to me by a fellow bluelighter, who was on them for quite some time to overcome her sleep disorder/addictions.
Apparently you aren't supposed to:
1) Take them every night
2) Take them for more than a month
3) Take them with anything else
My gp advised to take two per night, as well as take up to 8 valium per day and my script is for well over a month.....
What my friend has said about stillnox rings true so far- it isn't working as it used to already. She herself has recounted some strange things she has done after long use of stillnox as well as other people who have made headlines actually taking their kids to school whilst under the influence- "awake" yet so asleep they are going through stop signs, swerving through the streets uncontrollably and whatnot.
So Ive changed my dosage to what she has recommended- and am going to see the quack again next week anyway, so I'll have to bring this up with him.
Last weekend I don't really remember but after a couple of bottles of wine I thought it might be a fabbo idea to swallow a huge dose of benzos and never wake up. I mean, why not? My will was in order. I was acutely depressed, all my bills paid, I was comfy in my bed, had enough to do the job, how utterly selfish.
I cant remember what happened next, just briefly waking up in hospital and some nurse shoving an iv in my arm- the bruise is still there, some kind of antidote.
My friend came to see me later on and we cuddled and laughed, sometimes all thats needed is a snuggle and a laugh with someone important.
Its worth doing, getting clean. Hard, still fucking cravings and worries about gaps in my memory- but getting better every day.
I think anyone getting off drugs they have taken for years and years can relate to the yearning for the thing they were so used to just taking whenever they wanted or could, but now just can't. At all.
I will do a cartwheel now.