Off D.O.C still strung out

[Nope2opes]

So I have 32 days off opes,still smoking,doing benzos,occasionally amp. I was taking alot of kratom which really did fill the opi void but ran out few days ago.
Now it's 3:00am and gotta be at work at 7,I think if I'm going by process of elimination my sleep problem should go next, then zs, but maybe still smoke, heard that before?? Lmao
Don't u hate it when u want a pat on the back for kicking but everyone thinks you've been clean,lol
Thanks for listening, not sure of my point? Just know I'm among good people, as my old sponsor would say" just do the next right thing"
Peace

 

[neversickanymore]

I have been clean since august.. I just don't need nearly the amount of sleep I used to.. I used to bang out 12 hours before I became addicted to opiates. Then on the opiates I would do the tree and a half hour nap a couple times in the twenty four hour cycle.. I didn't sleep for at least six days in the beginning of the detox.. then I slept for a half hour, hour, 2 hours.. etc.. until I got to four to six hours a night.. and there I remaine. Since i'm not all doped up, I wake up feeling pretty damn good (vast majority of days) on 4-6 hours of sleep.. IDK what happened but I'm sure that four hours of real unmedicated sleep is a whole lot better than ten hours of medicated sleep for me.. I also enjoy a nice long day filled with energy and no longer have to reach for a certain pill to get through anything. If you want the brain chemistry to level back so you will feel good again then you need to stop manipulating it, occasional.. super occasional amp I think may even help but if you crash too hard off it could trigger a more active opiate addiction. But if buy smoke you mean grass then I would shelve that and the benzos for few months if you want a pleasant equilibrium to return to your brain. Also I doubt the degree of effectiveness completing the steps will have if you do it in manipulated state.. IMO i would lay off everything and let the smoke clear while you step and then once this has been accomplished make a clear decision as to using substances. After the initial miracle I received my second miracle when I felt the opiate receptors shut down in my head about four and a half months from getting clean.. was and still is amazing, had no idea what a fog I had lived in for years.. Congratulations on dropping the opiates, think about dropping it all for a few months to give yourself a chance to heal. Also all your symptoms should be getting a sliver better every couple of days, if this is not happening then you are prolonging the effects. Sleep, diet, exercise for your body and brain, meditation will speed the whole process significantly.

check these out as well ONE Two Three four

I would recommend this over smoking grass not that im anti grass, just if you get good at this its better.. ONE two three


Best Wishes! Hang in there it will get better quick.

 

[Nope2opes]

Thanks for the reply man, really felt good reading your advice, and I know that u r right. Sometimes seems hopeless that my mind will ever go back to before all this happened. Just don't feel comfortable in my own skin when sober. Quitting drinking was hard, I quit every other day for years.
This seems much harder tho,I often wonder if I can do it totally sober. Scary shit!!!!! Good job man, u r a true miracle. I really need to follow your advice, have good weekend

 

[pastelcircus]

Transferring addictions are a real problem amongst addicts. A lot of people can just turn from dope and smoke weed and apparently be healed from what ails them, idk.

I know that this never worked for me as I would end up either drinking or smoking first then doing the other anyways, then taking whatever pills or harder drugs happen to be immediately (or not so immediately) available.

I'm 100% clean at this point and still am addicted to certain things, they just don't happen to be drugs any more. For example- driving, shopping, eating, and the internet are all things that I use to fill 'the void'. What that tells me is that what I need to do is seriously take a look inside and see what exactly it is that I'm trying to fill and conceal, as dealing with these blind spots are the only way to keep myself on the right track and not on the track that's going to lead to an artificial and temporary high.

if you feel like you're not comfortable in your own skin while clean then you probably haven't had a chance to practice much. Once you get over that first hump then you should be able to find yourself increasingly at ease with who you are- in any situation.

anyways, best of luck to you and give yourself a little credit, even quitting your main doc can be hard enough.

 

[herbavore]

if you feel like you're not comfortable in your own skin while clean then you probably haven't had a chance to practice much. Once you get over that first hump then you should be able to find yourself increasingly at ease with who you are- in any situation.

This is a really good perspective. Most things that are hard take practice, little baby steps that can feel inconsequential but never are.

 

[Mehm]

I would say that you are probably strung out because you are still abusing a bunch of different drugs. Just saying...