SelectionIll
Bluelighter
i'm snapping my fingers right now. i want to see how loud it sounds in this real quiet room. everybody's asleep and i think this keyboard is broken cause it sounds like breaking bones. i stopped being drunk about two hours ago. now, i'm just vibrating from all the other stuff i took. saturdays are so dangerous when you're good and alone. not the sad, pathetic alone of the normal poet. a pleasant alone. an alone where you can watch mtv without embarassment. the kind of alone that means chef-boyardee ravioli out of the can for dinner. i watched 3 episodes of the sapranos this afternoon. Christopher was shooting dope and snorting coke. this sounded like a great idea. a brief telephone call and a half an hour wait in my car behind a UDF later and i was sitting at my coffee table wondering if i had drank so much beer so far (4 pm) that i might just fall out from a meger shot. i figured, i'll do some of the coke first, you know, clear my head a bit.
ZANG! ooooo i grind my teeth. my two front bottom teeth are really sharp. i knew somebody that had them capped cause they ground their teeth so bad. i wonder if i'll have to do that. get them capped i mean. maybe i'll get platinum covers for them. oooo yea, then i'll get those silver contact lenses. ooo i'll call myself beam, or bean maybe. white trash, two heebs and a bean is a great album...
and zong...now i really did need the dope shot. i hate myself on coke.
rip
shik
ffft
psst
chrk
ffft
ouch (the insertion always hurts when you haven't done it in awhile)
aaaah.
it got really hard to breathe for a second. i felt my heartbeat catch on a hook in my chest. i closed my eyes. i regreted not cleaning up all my tools. i didn't want my butterfly to see all this. she hates it so much. then
it seemed alright if she did. i turned off the dvd player. i inteded to put on bravo, or amc movie classics, but MASH was on the station it was tuned to, so i watched that. thought about how much i hated that damn show when i was a kid. whenever that theme song would come on, that was my cue to beat it down to the basement and listen to cheech and chong records i didn't understand.
now, i'm sitting here writing this story.
maybe, when a day like that really happens to me, i'll write about what really happened today.
ZANG! ooooo i grind my teeth. my two front bottom teeth are really sharp. i knew somebody that had them capped cause they ground their teeth so bad. i wonder if i'll have to do that. get them capped i mean. maybe i'll get platinum covers for them. oooo yea, then i'll get those silver contact lenses. ooo i'll call myself beam, or bean maybe. white trash, two heebs and a bean is a great album...
and zong...now i really did need the dope shot. i hate myself on coke.
rip
shik
ffft
psst
chrk
ffft
ouch (the insertion always hurts when you haven't done it in awhile)
aaaah.
it got really hard to breathe for a second. i felt my heartbeat catch on a hook in my chest. i closed my eyes. i regreted not cleaning up all my tools. i didn't want my butterfly to see all this. she hates it so much. then
it seemed alright if she did. i turned off the dvd player. i inteded to put on bravo, or amc movie classics, but MASH was on the station it was tuned to, so i watched that. thought about how much i hated that damn show when i was a kid. whenever that theme song would come on, that was my cue to beat it down to the basement and listen to cheech and chong records i didn't understand.
now, i'm sitting here writing this story.
maybe, when a day like that really happens to me, i'll write about what really happened today.
