of a room

[Nietzche]

Circumscribing the subtle,
Social nuances
of a room,
You may hear a sigh.

Briefly,
this may accentuate
the color of your lies.

To legitimate this moment;
an image
you'll derive

Where upon delicate silk pillows
They will eat you
Alive.

-07.08.03- -11.05.03-

 

[Frosty da snowman]

this is going to run through my head for days. great style, evertyhing about this really good. I like the first few lines the best. They hook into u.

 

[AmorRoark]

When effective writing is read the words leave you with a feeling that you understand the writer a little better than before.

This piece deffinetly achieved that for me.

Tantalizing work!

 

[silverwheel]

ah...lovely.
really tight writing, jeff. Both the pulse and the rhyme carry equal weight, which just makes it a pleasure to read. Eliot-esque.

 

[Cat Again]

very nice

 

[ice-9]

nice one!@!

 

[grey kat]

very very nice! i thuroughly enjoyed it!

 

[skywise]

pretty good jeff, especially considering you were working within a rhyme scheme.

 

[Dastrix Slogan]

You have the ability to pull the rug out from under my feet every damn time! Again, I'm floored! Brilliant!

 

[emesaeler]

short and ever so sweet - good job!

 

[cherub]

i like the last line the best,,

but once again, excellent work