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Harm Reduction OD Social v12 - Zero Tolerance

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sorry to hear that cloudy :/

Im sure youll bounce back and be 10x as strong when you return.


on a good note I pick up my new "health stone" from my local shop. If you are a regular concentrate user I would HIGHLY recommend looking into there stuff. Its better than any nail/dome/skillet IMO.
 
I don't really feel like going in to it right now as it is pretty fresh, but in sum in the beginning of dec, my mom (I was staying with my parents) ended up finding where I keep my used needles. This of course wasn't a good thing. Dealt with that pretty well, but I've been holding in alot of frustration that I keep inside because it was around christmas. aka other family was going to be with us for the holidays, so I was being well behaved. Still doing a lot for my parents around the house, but I ended up snapping today because of somethings my mom said to me. I finally just couldn't block it out, and snapped. I ended up breaking my parents house's front door (glass door), so that was the end of it. My parents were already saying I had to leave or do a list of things in order for me to stay under their roof (my dad even went to the courts to do a legit eviction notice before christmas, but because I was still helping around the house, treating everyone with respect, my mom wanted me to stay around for christmas even though my dad wanted me out. So basically I was already being kicked out, but I unleshed my anger and did an action that solidified it. One thing that hurt me a lot was my sister said that she was glad that I was leaving. I treated her with so much respect. I tried to have a solid relationship with her because I don't with basically anyone in my family. I learned no one in my family respects me at all. I'm not wanted there, so I'm not going to stay. I left the house with some of my shit (probably forgot a lot of important things, which I may have to see if I can get before I go to the airport and fly to NC. I'm flying out tomorrow.

Anyway, enough of that. I'm enjoying a night of heroin and cocaine. Doing some speed balls (being super careful with the coke). The heroin is good, but I wish it was like the shit I was getting the past week or two. Oh well.

Tomorrow will be the last time I do heroin for who knows how long. I don't have a connect for opiates in NC atm, so couldn't start up again unless I tried really hard. I'm gonna end up tapering quick with my methadone, then I'm going to switch to suboxone and do a taper with that, likely a hell of a lot slower. I got only two 8mg subs atm, but my friend whos been driving me around/helping me is likely going to give me a bunch (probably 10 or more) so I can do a lot better taper before I quit. (fuck now that I think about it, I left my tramadol at the house, but I bet my parents will throw it away, oh well).

Honestly I'm kinda excited. I've been wanting to just leave my parents house for a long time, even if it means traveling by foot. So with the scariness of it all, its kinda thrilling. It'll be a experience of a life time. I'll be at friends houses in NC, but its not a permanent situation so, this is going to push me hard to use the full strength I have in me. I want to be in a situation where my actions depend one whether or not I survive. I don't know if people can understand that, but I've always wanted my life to be about surviving, not having life be guaranteed.
 
^^

Been there, man. So been there. It's rough but you'll make it through...hopefully once you can get the drugs behind you and get your life on track, your family will give you a chance to rekindle some shit. Mine is just starting to bestow some trust in me again after all the shit I've done in the past.

If you're ever in NY and need anything, hit me up.
 
I don't want to rekindle shit with my family. My family hasn't respected me for countless years. Even my only grandparents that are alive (on my moms side). My oldest brother is pretty indifferent with me, but i know thinks lowly of my druggy self (even though he drinks SO much, most likely fits the def for alcoholism). My other brother and I never had a good relationship and I know he doesn't give two shits about me. I just found out that the one person I thought I had a decent relationship with actually didn't want me around. Did expect her to shout out that shes happy to see me go, and yelling to my mom to call the cops. The only family I have is my friends. My friends in NC, the people who love me unconditionally, accept and like who I am. Respect me. They are the only family I want to have. My parents and I will never see eye to eye. We'll never be able to have a reasonable relationship even though I've done my best to be friendly and helpful to them. Enough is enough. I want them out of my life for good. Yeah people will say, "you say that now, but in 5-10 years you'll think differently". I personally think thats BS. Its not like my parents don't love me, or I don't love them (though I love my friends more than my parents, especially my best friends), but if it wasn't for the fact that they gave birth to me, they are nothing to me. Just like aldous huxley says in island (to paraphrase, don't have the book on me), the birth givers can either be just that, people who just gave birth and was obligated to raise me to a point, or actual friends. They are the former.

I contacted pretty much all my core group of friends, and all who've respond want to help and are looking forward to seeing me. I should never have left to go back to TX in the first place. I didn't have to, but I thought it would help me get back to college/in a solid situation faster, but imo it has only made everything worse.


I'll be on BL when I can (all the places in NC i'll be at will have internet, but I'm not gonna spend much time doing leisure activities, I'm gonna bust my ass so I don't have to be weight on their shoulders). So expect me to be on every so often. Tonight I'll likely be on pretty much most of the night I bet, and a bit tomorrow. Once i'm in NC I don't know when I'll be back on.
 
your entering a new chapter of your life. Im sure itll have its up and downs as do all chapters but only you know what best for you.

EDIT: I'm starting ULDN tomorrow. so fuckin stoked. Ill post results for sure.
 
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Its probably the best way for me to find myself. To unlock my true potential, or to end up in despair. For my whole life, no matter how much I wanted to do everything to the fullest, to be the best, to use the intelligence I have to achieve the goals I have/have had through out my life, etc. I've never done it. I can't fully blame my ADHD or other mental issues that have plagued me since I was a tot, but this could be what helps me finally overcome them. I've already in the past (though with sacrificing other areas of my life) gotten over my social anxiety, a lot of my general anxiety, and a few other big things that have effected me heavily. I've yet to find a way to accomplish most of my goals in my life. From things like music (composing/playing), to academics (not to sound like logicandreason lol, but I'm super intelligent yet never been able to show it through academics even with academics being what I want to spend my life doing). I'm now in the situation where I can't let my problems prevent me from moving through life the way I want. If I let them to carry on, I'll either end up dead or the guy on the side of the road with a big beard, smelly, and with a sign asking for food or money.
 
Cloudy said:
Its probably the best way for me to find myself. To unlock my true potential, or to end up in despair. For my whole life, no matter how much I wanted to do everything to the fullest, to be the best, to use the intelligence I have to achieve the goals I have/have had through out my life, etc. I've never done it. I can't fully blame my ADHD or other mental issues that have plagued me since I was a tot, but this could be what helps me finally overcome them. I've already in the past (though with sacrificing other areas of my life) gotten over my social anxiety, a lot of my general anxiety, and a few other big things that have effected me heavily. I've yet to find a way to accomplish most of my goals in my life. From things like music (composing/playing), to academics (not to sound like logicandreason lol, but I'm super intelligent yet never been able to show it through academics even with academics being what I want to spend my life doing). I'm now in the situation where I can't let my problems prevent me from moving through life the way I want. If I let them to carry on, I'll either end up dead or the guy on the side of the road with a big beard, smelly, and with a sign asking for food or money.
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Well, good luck man. Hope to see more of your posts whenever you can get the chance.

BL will miss ya'.
 
So today was the first day I shot some cocaine. When my friend and I went down to cop some dope we ended up going and finding some cocaine afterwards. I didn't shoot it alone, or well, with out having some heroin in me. All but one shot I had the cocaine in the syringe with the heroin (never that much because safety first of course!), and It was quite enjoyable. I kinda wish I did just more cocaine at once in atleast one of the shot because I didn't get that strong of a coke high with the heroin (can you get a bell ringer while shooting heroin with it?), but since I didn't have that much coke, just a dime, I was trying to not over doing it (we bought two dimes, so basically .250 for him and .250 for me, or thats what I'm guessing but probably was weighed with the bag so less than .250 [200 maybe?]). Better to under do it than over do. It was a good speed ball, but I preferred when I snorted ~20mg of oxymorphone, then took 10mg of desoxyn (methamphetamine) at the same time so the highs would hit about the same time (oxymorphone snorted peaked around 45 mins, but I had the old ER opanas so snorted the 20mg over 15 mins). The oxymorphone peaked around 60 mins and methamphetamine orally peaked around 60 mins as well. That mix was sooo nice. oxymorphone is a real heavy high (like a more euphoric and sedative hydrocodone tbh, more like hydrocodone than any other opioid) and the nod can be too sedative that it is easy to fall asleep instead of coming out of the nod. Mixing it with methamp made it easier to nod with out falling asleep, as well as made it so I can be functional like a medium to low dose of an opioid. I spent like 2-3 hours just playing keyboard and killing it. Even IV heroin and smoked methamp IMO is better than IV heroin + IV cocaine, but it was still fun.

I wish the cocaine was a bit better. It just seems the area in Dallas that we go to, alot of the dealers that will sell to white people/that I have dealt with in the square mile, don't have that high of quality product. The heroin can be decent (I know there is fire tar in dallas, but never really seen it in this place), but the crack and cocaine seem really cut to shit. I never had a dealer for cocaine in NC, but almost every time I got cocaine (which was a handful not including having some randomly offered) it was really solid shit. Never had crack in NC (first time i tried was in TX) but the nickle bags they sell really are not that good. Don't know why people buy it when its that quality. I'd be interested to try some high quality crack, or freebase some solid recrystallized cocaine. That'll be in the far future if ever though.

mr.scagnattie said:
Well, good luck man. Hope to see more of your posts whenever you can get the chance.

BL will miss ya'.
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I'm devoted to harm reduction, so bluelight will always be a part of me, even if I'm not on it and just sharing what I've learned/shared on bluelight to people in real life. I love helping people learn about drugs/how to be safe if they are willing to listen. I'll share as much as they will let me. Also, I can't wait till it's 2015 and I've been a member for 10 years, even if 2 of those years I more just lurked and posted on a different drug forum (a shitty one tbh, but the first I used to help me learn)
 
im starting naltrexone tomorrow and I have to be 100% positive my doses are right or itll fuck shit up.

so if I dissolve 50mg naltrexone in 1 litter of water i should be left with a 50mcg/ml solution right ? I plan on taking 5mcg 2x/day. So that would boil down to

10 units of solution 2x per day right ?

Im EXTREMELY smart just never gave a fuck about school. But if it involves something I care about ( drugs ) im usually pretty good at it.

EDIT: If my calculations are right then I have 5000 days worth of solution. I know not to keep the solution for 13.7 years. But how long do you think it would be safe to dose the solution orally if its being stored in a clear water bottle in my closet ?
 
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Cloudy said:
Also, I can't wait till it's 2015 and I've been a member for 10 years, even if 2 of those years I more just lurked and posted on a different drug forum (a shitty one tbh, but the first I used to help me learn)
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I did the same thing... I'll have 10 years next February, but I was highly inactive for a large portion of those years..hah. Just too busy ripping and roaring. But, as of recently..especially after getting modded, I really realized what I was missing by not taking advantage of my membership for all those years.
 
The Dope Man said:
im starting naltrexone tomorrow and I have to be 100% positive my doses are right or itll fuck shit up.

so if I dissolve 50mg naltrexone in 1 litter of water i should be left with a 50mcg/ml solution right ? I plan on taking 5mcg 2x/day. So that would boil down to

10 units of solution 2x per day right ?

Im EXTREMELY smart just never gave a fuck about school. But if it involves something I care about ( drugs ) im usually pretty good at it.

EDIT: If my calculations are right then I have 5000 days worth of solution. I know not to keep the solution for 13.7 years. But how long do you think it would be safe to dose the solution orally if its being stored in a clear water bottle in my closet ?
Click to expand...

What is your intention for using micro doses of naltrexone? Helping reduce opioid tolerance build up/reducing opioid tolerance (I think there is some discussion of it helping with opioid tolerance)
 
Cloudy said:
What is your intention for using micro doses of naltrexone? Helping reduce opioid tolerance build up/reducing opioid tolerance (I think there is some discussion of it helping with opioid tolerance)
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ya tolerance stabilization or reduction is the main goal. theres alot of conflicting information but alot of people agree it greatly reduces tolerance in a short time. I figure its worth a shot.

I only use on the weekends and my tolerance has ben going up steadily. during summer .03 of IV dope would have me straight rocked. Now im shootin .2 and thats still not getting me where I wanna be. Shits expensive and im not even a daily user. Couldn't imagine trying to support a habit like that.
 
How did you get the naltrexone, not asking specifically (not sourcing), but curious as if you randomly found a guy who had it, got some from a doctor, or purchased it from a vendor? It seems like something that wouldn't be easily obtainable on the streets unless someone is just selling a script.
 
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