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Octsober!!

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D's said:
I fucked up yo, I went home yesterday to get a brand new car (2005 toyota RAV4) and a new cell phone (a verizon "Blitz").
So anyways my grandparents gave me $100 to use on college stuff, so when I was leaveing I waved goodbye to my family, there all crying because I'm doing the right thing (going to college). So what did I do? I drove 45 mins out of the way into bham to get some fucking H. So I got my shit, and drove 2 fucking hours back to my dormatories.
So I did half of my first bag, and it's fucking with my guiltyness.
Fuck I don't know what to do with my self. I have a problem. My family thinks that I'm off the dope. (least im not shootn the shit anymore.)
I feel fucking awful.
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Just like ocean said, one bump in the road doesn't mean you gotta chuck it all in and doom yourself to failure.

Edison didn't make the lightbulb on the first go; we learn from our mistakes and use it to motivate ourselves to achieve bigger and better things.

Hang in there mate. Perhaps the guilt is a sign that you've already made more progress than you may have thought! :)
 
After a very bad start, I'm two days sober. Better than nothing, although I have a lot to improve on at the moment!
 
^good job Sushii...a start is a start

I'm starting again...again...bad day yesterday...had a work lunch that turned into more than just lunch...yes there are times I'm not only allowed to drink at work but yesterday it was expected (though no one would ever say that I'm sure). I didn't think this would turn into what it did...and won't find myself in this situation again until the end of the month so will be more mentally prepared and will go into the situation with a plan.
 
Well, this shit isn't easy. I have 47 days clean from everything, I go to meetings almost everyday (tonight will be 6 days in a row), I'm following suggestions BUT... This is the third day in a row that I have been wanting to use rather badly.

I just fantasize about the ritual and the immediate pleasure. I can't go back to the way I was. I've come too far. I feel good and people tell me I look good. I just can't fuckin' use, man. I'm kinda scared about throwing all this work away

Today I picked up a dude who has 7 days clean and helped him fill out paperwork for government assistance.we've been hangin' out for the past 5 hours or so and will be hitting a meeting shortly (my home group)

I hope I don't make the wrong decision after the meeting when its just me being with me

This shit is hard. Respect to everyone involved in Octsober
 
^That's happened to me too. Our last Christmas party turned into a whiskey tasting. :| We didn't have to go back to work and the company paid for all our cabs.

Two good excuses for not drinking? My fall-back is "I'm on antibiotics for an ear infection" so no one thinks I'm infected with H1N1, or "I have to drive later".

Still sober, just got home from school, nothing in the house, and I don't get paid until tomorrow. Tonight's distraction? Probably making up for my mild distance/lack of social feelings to the boyfriend. ;) And eating, though my appetite is far from completely back after yesterday's tummy troubles.

I'm giving a dose of phenibut a go. There's a good amount of literature in both Google and Google Scholar saying it's useful in alcohol withdrawal. I checked for an interaction with tramadol, and it's safe to do at my level. (I remembered to take my tramadol today!)

My last suggestion? Throughout all this, very little has made me feel better than snuggling with or holding my cats. Give your pet some treats, some playtime, or some pets, and I guarantee you'll be able to avoid at least 1 instance when you otherwise might have drank or used. Don't have a pet? Go to the TDS pets' thread! :)
 
Damn, I had a very extremely stressful day. Which could get much, much worse over the next few days. Cannot get into it that much because shit is still going down, but I hate my job 80 percent of the time. I have to keep working and studying hard for the LSAT so I can get out of this crap.

Anyways I WILL NOT use it as an excuse to drink. I need to be 100 percent and the problem will still be there in the morning. Going to go for a walk if needed and just try to relax. This has been my first real challenge, and I'm craving harder then I have yet. I've got six days now, I'm not going to let the stupidity of bad parenting ruin it.

Anyways keep it up everyone! Do what you gotta do to get through it.
 
well, im still in the game. i have to say, i am having cravings. i keep feeling like i have nothing to look forward to, no release on the horizon. i just have to remember that i can look forward to better health and more money!

for now i know that im ok, although i crave i don't see myself giving in. all the support here really helps, so thanks everyone!
 
Feeling better now, studying for the LSAT for at least a little bit. Just need to accomplish something. I need to learn to not let work continue to mess up my plans.

I also do not want to give the impression that I do not like helping people or protecting children or anything, I do but its can be so heartbreaking. You try to help people and in turn they hate you because they are too young to understand that you are doing what is best for them.

RedLeader said:
Good to hear your workout went well. It's amazing how the weights get miraculously lighter if you slow down your drinking a bit. Drinking is like the absolute worst thing to do if you are serious about weight training.
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I do not know if I would describe myself as serious. I enjoy doing it though and its great for stress. I'm only about 140ish and have a fast metabolism. When I do workout I show gains quickly but its hard for me to go past that. Last year around this time I was pretty built but that was after some work, however I didn't have access to a gym at that point like I do now.
 
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Woke up a bit early today, most likely due to stress related to the job (lots of things are up in the air, there is a slight possibility I will have to end up driving a total of about 12 hours)... it is nice not to be hungover on top of all this though. Trying to look at the positives.
 
^ i woke up way too early too! i call it reverse insomnia. and i have a bit of a headache, but not from hangover! woo hoo!

restless sleep last night, vivid dreams. all this mma workout talk has me inspired to actually go to the gym today after work. its been a few days and its such a good stress reliever and will probably help me sleep better tonight.

thought more about a reward for myself since i was feeling like i had nothing to look forward to, so i booked myself a massage! would have liked to get in earlier but it happens to be for the 14th so i think thats a perfect little halfway marker.

cheers to self care! <3
 
Cap'n Jay said:
I'm not ready to quit yet...It's a process that I'm going to take slowly, but I think that my goal is that by the time I turn 18, I will not be shooting dope anymore.

DsOc: Prescription pills, H and coke (on occassion)

Cap'n Jay
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Hey, I'm 18 years old and I have been clean for 6 months off H and precp. drugs. You should really quit before it gets the best of you like it did me. It really ruined my life, and I'm still trying to get back on track... It's going to be hard but you really need to try and quit H. I had a good friend OD from H and it kills me every time I hear about a younger person shooting up. I'm here if you need some support.,, :)
 
^ Good luck :)

I'm finally back from my surgery, the surgeon punctured my dura whilsy dealing with the disc prolapse so I had to literally lie completely flat for 3 whole days. That royally sucked and yes the post op pain was fairly unpleasant and I did take opiate painkillers in hospital. I only took what the doctors wrote up for my pain though, and switched to milder forms and then wholly on to alternatives as things improved so by my own rules I'm still Octsober as I used the drugs for their stated medical purpose aqnd not just for the hell of it. Hope everyone's staying strong and sticking to it :)
 
Oh man I made it past my three day record and Im at 5 now. Yesterday I got discharged from probation and I went the whole day without a celebratory drink!
 
Pharcyde said:
Oh man I made it past my three day record and Im at 5 now. Yesterday I got discharged from probation and I went the whole day without a celebratory drink!
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Congrats man , I'm on day 2 right now as well

I feel better then I thought I would and I just went cold turkey

Yesterday was pretty rough but I'm doing good now , alcohol has been making me really depressed lately

I'd be better off without it :)
 
So far i havent done any drugs that im not prescribed so i guess im doing good for octsober so far :) . Last night i saw a full case of beer my dad had downstairs and i didnt even have the slightest craving to have one 8o . I never thought that would happen.
 
Pulled some crazy shit and basically convinced the mom who had been on run for months to turn herself in! I am so fucking exhausted... never in my life did I think I would ever have to nor be able to do something like that but I did!

Cannot get into to detail, but lets say a major 3 state legal battle broke out today. I'm talking heads of the departments and top state lawyers talking to each other. Then there is me, the little social worker all the way on the bottom. This is all just sinking in.

No celebratory drink, just celebratory studying and then my hawks take on Detroit!
 
^Good for you. :) Both for staying sober, and for doing your work well - throwing myself into work and homework has helped a lot. I'm about to crack open the books too.

I am triggered as hell right now! One of my cats got out for the whole day - naughty little boys. :! And a healthy dose of personal drama put a dent in my day too, but that's now hopefully cleared up - provided the other party has seen the light. If they don't, then they'd better quickly. Nobody puts Baby in a corner. ;)

I am still not drinking. My therapist is pleased, and so is my family. They finally understand and respect that I did something to better my personal well-being in quitting drinking for the month. I hope they will swallow a healthy serving of crow along with their wine and pills tonight. They've caused me a lot of stress, and they didn't think I could do this.

But I can! And so can everyone here.

OC, it's good to see you participating. :) Blackouts are incredibly nasty; I can't imagine any worse feeling in the world than not knowing what the hell you said or did last night. :| Happened to me a lot when I was drinking. It doesn't happen anymore now that I stopped. :)

Pharcyde, major congrats on your freedom, keep up the good work. :)

PA, wow, that had to have been a huge trigger for you. Good for you for fighting it off.

Day 8 almost finished!
 
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