Octsober!!

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Well, I had two beers out yesterday...I'm not beating myself up over it, I made the choice.

I'm proud of what I accomplished in only the first 3 days of October, my goal was for more sober days than drinking days and some of them to be consecutive.

now that you've come so far, have you thought about revising your goals?

Exactly what I'm going to do: New goals: 5 days sober in a row. We are having a gathering at our place on Saturday, goal for Saturday MODERATION. Followed by another sober week. I'm really curious about that 100 hour point everyone talks about. Also, time to kick up the exercise!

Mariposa...yes I got rid of all the alcohol in the house since today is recycling day! Wasn't really that much, surprisingly!

I'm sending positive vibes to everyone for you to accomplish your goals!

Dragonslayer...thanks for the inspiration...maybe someday for me.
 
I'm really curious about that 100 hour point everyone talks about. Also, time to kick up the exercise!

Mariposa...yes I got rid of all the alcohol in the house since today is recycling day! Wasn't really that much, surprisingly!

This is my layperson's explanation. 100 hours is roughly 4 days. If you make it through "mild" physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms (sleeplessness, increase in anxiety, strong cravings) without showing signs of delirium tremens (which is a medical emergency, you must go to the hospital quickly if this happens) for 100 hours following your last drink...

you're probably out of the woods with respect to immediate physical concerns. This, of course, should ideally be discussed with a doctor.

In particular, if you/anyone were able to successfully taper rather than go from a sizable habit to nothing in a short time, you may have noticed that you didn't even notice your 100-hour mark. :)
 
Heres to rooting you on Trancegirle :)

Thanks sweetie!! <3 What a lovely way to start a hopefully more successful week.

I have a valium prescription now so i don't have to stress about anxiety attacks as much and i have a more positive outlook (most importantly). My body is revolting against me already in the usual way but hopefully that eases up. I know what to expect so it's just a matter of making it through.
 
Heres to rooting you on Trancegirle :)

^^ my immature subconscious misread that at first glance :s

Anyhow good luck trancie, don't be discouraged at a mis-start to this ocsober thingamy. No one's going to punish you or berate you for not spending the entire month 100% sober other than yourself. I'm taking a more relaxed approach (like Ryka) and aiming for significantly reduced alcohol guzzling over the month rather than a strict zero-alcohol policy.

I'm doing okay so far. Two whole days sober and kept the weekend to a moderate three beers and three glasses of wine. =D

Hope everyone else is managing well!!!
 
^^ Good stuff! :)

I'm really happy I went to my meeting tonight. I got some excellent advice from another guy in the group, which has really helped build my motivation to stay of methamphetamine. I can say honestly I was 95% certain to get on this week. Now I'm finally motivated to stay off again. I owe him big time ;)
 
^^^

Good to hear!

Day 5 for me. Feeling pretty good but I'm going to force myself to hit the gym after work. Also time to start studying again.

Slept pretty good last night, am a bit tired today. Will probably have one more cup of coffee before I leave.

Anyways I have to drive to some little town about an hour south of here to attend a trial. The mom in this case is totally insane so it should be an interesting one. She either loves me or wants to kill me, sometimes this switches every 5 minutes. lol. Its not really funny, but social workers get a sick humor after awhile.
 
day 5 for me too... and dreading having to go into work after making a bit of a fool of myself in front of my coworkers. whatever though, everyone here is being so brave, i can take a little whispering. ive decided to answer any teasing with honesty: yep, i was an ass. not really more to say after that.

good luck to everyone today :)
 
Bump in the Road

I made it 8 days sober and then messed up last night. I was having a really rough day and was feeling some really bad anxiety. And I just caved in. It made for a fun few hours, and I tried to not feel guilty at the time. But ya, looks like I am not going to hit all of my goals, and will be forced to compromise. I feel like shit today physically, which isn't good given that I have MMA training in 5 hours :\ Oh well, I guess we all make mistakes. I'm going to have a bunch of food and liquids, as well as some ibuprofen, and try and suck it up and fight through the hangover today. I'm not that down mentally, but it's still a harsh reminder that getting past a week is really, really hard for me. Anyway, I hope to start a new string of 8+ days and continue forward.

I hope everyone else is staying strong and doing well. Keep up the great work :)
 
I made it 8 days sober and then messed up last night. I was having a really rough day and was feeling some really bad anxiety. And I just caved in. It made for a fun few hours, and I tried to not feel guilty at the time. But ya, looks like I am not going to hit all of my goals, and will be forced to compromise. I feel like shit today physically, which isn't good given that I have MMA training in 5 hours :\ Oh well, I guess we all make mistakes. I'm going to have a bunch of food and liquids, as well as some ibuprofen, and try and suck it up and fight through the hangover today. I'm not that down mentally, but it's still a harsh reminder that getting past a week is really, really hard for me. Anyway, I hope to start a new string of 8+ days and continue forward.

I hope everyone else is staying strong and doing well. Keep up the great work :)

Like you said, its just a bump in the road, brother. Any progress is still progress
 
Like you said, its just a bump in the road, brother. Any progress is still progress

Exactly, don't put yourself down over one little hiccough Red! If we were all perfect the world would be a pretty boring place ;)

MMA hey? Can you recommend any MA for someone with a permanently fragile ankle (i.e. low impact on the legs, no shin kicking etc)? I'm guessing something like akido or judo?

Good work monchi, phactor and footscrazy!

Another day sober for me yesterday though I did have some temazepam to help...
 
Just got back from the gym. Was able to go much heavier then expected on the weights. Earlier today I wasn't feeling all the good but after the workout I feel better then I have so far. Even those walks I was taking really helped.

Get out and exercise if you can. I feel nice and relaxed right now and I didn't cost me a damn thing...well okay a gym membership but I get a super cheap rate because social workers do not make shit when it comes to money. A very small part of the reason I am studying for the LSAT.

Anyways Day 5 going good.

RedLeader - Get up. Brush the dirt off your shoulder. And just keep marching on. Relapses happen, do not beat yourself up over it. Seems like you have recovered very well. You can just make this an isolated incident.

Ad 8 days is something to be proud of, I haven't had 8 days in years. Shit, I haven't had 5 days in quite some time either.

Belarki - Great job! Keep it up. If you gotta use the benzos then you have too. Do what you need to to get over the drinking. Obviously do not transfer the addiction to the benzos (I know you know this), but using some to help ease through it is fine.
 
^ Thanks man. Ya, I think I am good. Feeling a lot better now. Was able to get through my class tonight and now feel fine. Am not drinking tonight. All's good for me :)

Good to hear your workout went well. It's amazing how the weights get miraculously lighter if you slow down your drinking a bit. Drinking is like the absolute worst thing to do if you are serious about weight training.

MMA hey? Can you recommend any MA for someone with a permanently fragile ankle (i.e. low impact on the legs, no shin kicking etc)? I'm guessing something like akido or judo?

Are you looking for something for self-defense and fighting in the real world, or something that's more of a stage performance that looks cool?
 
I fucked up yo, I went home yesterday to get a brand new car (2005 toyota RAV4) and a new cell phone (a verizon "Blitz").
So anyways my grandparents gave me $100 to use on college stuff, so when I was leaveing I waved goodbye to my family, there all crying because I'm doing the right thing (going to college). So what did I do? I drove 45 mins out of the way into bham to get some fucking H. So I got my shit, and drove 2 fucking hours back to my dormatories.
So I did half of my first bag, and it's fucking with my guiltyness.
Fuck I don't know what to do with my self. I have a problem. My family thinks that I'm off the dope. (least im not shootn the shit anymore.)
I feel fucking awful.
 
Are you looking for something for self-defense and fighting in the real world, or something that's more of a stage performance that looks cool?

HAha might ahve to take this conversation over to healthy living or something so as to not derail the thread too much :) Yeh for self-defence, fitness and coordination. While a huge fan of old kung-fu, karate movies etc I realistically know I'd never be any good at that flashy stuff.

phactor said:
Belarki - Great job! Keep it up. If you gotta use the benzos then you have too. Do what you need to to get over the drinking. Obviously do not transfer the addiction to the benzos (I know you know this), but using some to help ease through it is fine.

Thanks :) Yeh temazepam is about as weak and harmless as they come in benzo-terms. My dr knows it's to help weening off alcohol so isn't going to prescribe me an abusable amount anyway.
 
Hang in there, RL. Tomorrow's another day. I think it got really easy for me to forget that I'm dealing with a substance not being in my body that I've had for - literally - years. You too. Do you think you accidentally kindled - that your abstinence for 8 days knocked out your tolerance and thus you got an increase in hangover symptoms (which are withdrawal in themselves)? It would depend on how much you drank, IMO, in relation to your body weight.

My body balked badly today. I didn't drink, but I felt hung-over. I wondered what the flying fuck was going on and then realized I had forgotten to take my tramadol today. 8o I noticed no changes in mood, just overwhelming nausea that did not pass easily. The other end, not to be graphic, bothered me as well - but likely that was from the fact that I eat like a bird and all of a sudden I am getting all these vitamins and purging toxicity from my body.

I took my tramadol and a Xanax and all of a sudden I can keep food down and I do not have a headache. It is so important for us alkies and all addicts who have neglected our bodies' needs for nutrition and hydration to keep up with both. I tend to be really busy most of the time and it is easy for me to forget to eat and drink beyond vitamins and coffee, especially now that I am back on a pretty regular schedule. :|

I see my therapist Thursday. Most of his advice has been to "stop drinking and the rest will follow" without getting into the physiological and psychological mechanisms that take place in new sobriety, particularly for someone like me who takes an antidepressant that is not a first-line treatment at all.

Time will tell if I am playing with fire. SSRIs and Wellbutrin are out of the question. Tramadol is structurally similar to venlafaxine (Effexor) but this felt like opiate w/d has been described to me. I had a summer with oxy, morphine, and vodka a few years ago and going CT from the first two felt a little like this for a day. (I've used oxy just once since and threw it up the second I started feeling high.)

I may have hit my first real wall, but I am still not inclined to drink - now the association with nausea, a caustic feeling in my stomach, and overall body aches is giving me enough of a deterrent. What the hell would I be thinking if I drank right now? I don't even want to more than psychologically, and only a bit. I have two people in my house who won't let me get alcohol (at my request), so it's a non-issue.

Sorry for the lengthy post but I wanted to get all that out, and I hope it will benefit those of you who are either still using opioids and/or antidepressants - I finally got a taste of opiate w/d and now I know I can't wean from the tramadol until I have been clean from alcohol for a bit. Sucks, because it's pricey.

The complexity of all of our addictions and my journey into finally *maybe* long-term sobriety is so interesting to me. Keep the faith, everyone, even if you have relapsed or not achieved your initial goals. <3
 
Hang in there, RL. Tomorrow's another day. I think it got really easy for me to forget that I'm dealing with a substance not being in my body that I've had for - literally - years. You too. Do you think you accidentally kindled - that your abstinence for 8 days knocked out your tolerance and thus you got an increase in hangover symptoms (which are withdrawal in themselves)? It would depend on how much you drank, IMO, in relation to your body weight.

I think it's going to take a lot longer than 8 days for my tolerance to fall back down! It was just me feeling so good the previous few days that relatively the hangover felt worse. And I slept horribly last night, so it made the hangover more pronounced. To answer your question, I had the equivalent of about 8 drinks in malt liquor. I essentially caved in because I was having really bad anxiety from unrelated events and didn't want to shortchange myself in benzos for the month (to kill that anxiety, I'd have to take like 3x my daily dose, and I like to keep out of a "benzo deficit"). Today's hangover did give me perspective that is often lost when drinking daily, though, so I think I will be good for the rest of the week, or up to whichever night I plan to celebrate my birthday. Sorry to hear about all of your other struggles :( Let's just try and keep going. Day-by-day.
 
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