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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Octsober!!

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Day one going fine, ended up sitting all damn day in DCFS Court Training. Tonights going to be the challenge. Wasn't able to get out to exercise, but I can probably do a little bit tonight. Shit I will have the time to.

Took a pretty decent amount of Kava, haven't used anything else. I'm really hoping I am able to steal a full nights sleep. If I am going to get hit with the physical shit its going to happen over night. I doubt I will though.
 
I'm still doing good, it has now been 24 hours since I've had any alcohol but I'm still considering this day one. I've drank alot of kava tea and taken a decent amount of kavalactone and full spectrum paste. Defiantly helps out, at least it helps me out. I'm planning on heading up to bed soon to just lay down and watch some television.

Very slight headache and slightly increased anxiety. Nothing I cannot handle.
 
I had a couple beers tonight because i went out but alcohol isn't my problem and i rarely have it anyway.
it's the dissociatives and psychs i need to avoid.

I'm so glad i didn't get mashed.. enjoyed the night much more.
 
Keep it up Ryka. Each day you do not drink will get easier. Do you mind if I ask how much and how often were you drinking? Was it an all day thing or only after work?

I was able to get a full nights sleep last night. I took two OTC sleep aids but whatever. First time that I have went to bed with no alcohol in my system in I do not know how long. I think the taper really helped out with this. Had a couple of really strong cravings but I just kept telling myself "well I'm not going to drink so forget about it".

Feel slightly groggy, with slightly increased anxiety and a small headache.

I have a few errands to run and will try to get to the gym. Bring on day 2!!
 
Phactor...I drink everything, preference depends on my mood what I have the taste for etc. But when I can't decide on something different I drink Jack Daniels. I drink anywhere from 5 to 10 drinks nightly, daily is more true. I'll sometimes start at lunch and then drink until bedtime, that would be a heavy day for me. Not unusual for me to drink 4 beers then a couple of cocktails, or a bottle of wine (they rarely last more than a day) and a cocktail or etc and etc etc. Sometimes I may only have one or two beers, but not the norm. At least one day on the weekend I'll have a mid morning cocktail.

I really don't get falling down drunk or black out or do crazy things, but part of that is that my tolerance is soooooo high. I do get an occasional hangover...

******edit too long for here I'll post all the details in the alcoholism thread****

If I make it today, and I should, it will be the first time I have gone 3 consecutive days without any alcohol in…well, my girls are 2 and a half years old…

Paranoia isn’t as bad today, but slept for shit…I’ll make it, I hope you all will too!
 
I've managed to cut my use in half, I still am not making it more than 3 days clean - but that's 3 more than I was getting before. I started this when it was originally posted - not sure about the days, I just know that the last 3 days before today i hadn't touched a thing. Today beat me - tomorrow won't I hope.
 
well last night my bf filled me in on some behavior that i don't remember of the end of wed night. apparently i inappropriately smooched someone as we were leaving to the oohs and ahhs of the crowd (my coworkers). then when we got home, i passed out in bed, and tried to pummel him when he tried to move me over. wow. can't even begin to tell you how ashamed i am right now. thank god i don't work until tuedsay and my coworkers will have a chance to forget the incident. bf understandably went out for the night.

woke up today and found that my bf hasn't even made it home yet. grrr. guess he's still having fun. called my mom to go for a hike but she has a cold and wants to stay close to home and stay close to my grandma who isn't doing well right now. then i remembered a birthday party im suppossed to be attending tonight (which i wont be able to do sober) and so sent a text using grandmother as an excuse (i know i know)...

i just want to crawl back into bed right now. i'm frustrated that i can't enjoy life the way i want to because i can't control my drinking. ugh. this doesn't make me want to drink, it just makes me feel kind of embarrassed that ive let myself get to this point.

hope everyone else is feeling better than me this morning.
 
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I made it to my "free pass" day - LoveEvolution party day! Luckily alcohol won't really be involved as it does not mix well with my plans, but I may be participating in a small pre-fade and if the day is hot, allow myself a beer or two if I'm in the mood.

All designed so I don't accidentally kindle :)

After this, it's the straight and narrow until Halloween.

I slept a lot yesterday and was in an awful mood when I woke up. I think it was because I was hungry. I ate and felt better. I woke up in a bad mood and nearly decided not to go to the party because it's going to be a huge crowd with triggers EVERYWHERE (picture margarita/beer/liquor tents set up all around San Francisco City Hall) but I want to see my friends, so off with me in a couple hours. :)
 
monchi said:
well last night my bf filled me in on some behavior that i don't remember of the end of wed night. apparently i inappropriately smooched someone as we were leaving to the oohs and ahhs of the crowd (my coworkers). then when we got home, i passed out in bed, and tried to pummel him when he tried to move me over. wow. can't even begin to tell you how ashamed i am right now. thank god i don't work until tuedsay and my coworkers will have a chance to forget the incident. bf understandably went out for the night.

woke up today and found that my bf hasn't even made it home yet. grrr. guess he's still having fun. called my mom to go for a hike but she has a cold and wants to stay close to home and stay close to my grandma who isn't doing well right now. then i remembered a birthday party im suppossed to be attending tonight (which i wont be able to do sober) and so sent a text using grandmother as an excuse (i know i know)...

i just want to crawl back into bed right now. i'm frustrated that i can't enjoy life the way i want to because i can't control my drinking. ugh. this doesn't make me want to drink, it just makes me feel kind of embarrassed that ive let myself get to this point.

hope everyone else is feeling better than me this morning.
Click to expand...

hang in there girl - i've done some pretty miserable thngs blacking out on G or benzos, happens to the best of us. Hope you feel better, I dunno about you guys but I'm around a lot more the more sober I am lol - so if anyone is feeling like they need to vent hit me up, I'm all ears - it sucks goin it alone.
 
Ryka said:
Phactor...I drink everything, preference depends on my mood what I have the taste for etc. But when I can't decide on something different I drink Jack Daniels. I drink anywhere from 5 to 10 drinks nightly, daily is more true. I'll sometimes start at lunch and then drink until bedtime, that would be a heavy day for me. Not unusual for me to drink 4 beers then a couple of cocktails, or a bottle of wine (they rarely last more than a day) and a cocktail or etc and etc etc. Sometimes I may only have one or two beers, but not the norm. At least one day on the weekend I'll have a mid morning cocktail.

I really don't get falling down drunk or black out or do crazy things, but part of that is that my tolerance is soooooo high. I do get an occasional hangover...

******edit too long for here I'll post all the details in the alcoholism thread****

If I make it today, and I should, it will be the first time I have gone 3 consecutive days without any alcohol in…well, my girls are 2 and a half years old…

Paranoia isn’t as bad today, but slept for shit…I’ll make it, I hope you all will too!
Click to expand...

I read your other post.

Make sure you are drinking plenty of water and taking vitamins. If you feel like taking a walk then do it. I was able to get one in before the rain started here and I feel much better. B vitamins are very important, also I'd suggest an amino-acid supplement. I take a general one and also take L-Tyrosine in the morning, L-Glutamine throughout the day and L-Trytophan at night. Do not be afraid to take a otc sleep aid either. You deserve a few hours of shut eye. Milk Thistle is good to take to help clean out the liver. Do not forget about some OTC painkiller.

Basically what I am saying is make sure you are getting your vitamins and whatnot. I've been through a few withdrawals with a few different substances and vitamins do help.

By the way I never thought you were being neglectful towards your kids. To tell you the truth people with far bigger problems do not even register on the Child Welfare screen. Its once the addiction starts preventing you from providing food, shelter and supervision that the system starts to notice.
 
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Mariposa said:
I made it to my "free pass" day - LoveEvolution party day! Luckily alcohol won't really be involved as it does not mix well with my plans, but I may be participating in a small pre-fade and if the day is hot, allow myself a beer or two if I'm in the mood.

All designed so I don't accidentally kindle :)

After this, it's the straight and narrow until Halloween.

I slept a lot yesterday and was in an awful mood when I woke up. I think it was because I was hungry. I ate and felt better. I woke up in a bad mood and nearly decided not to go to the party because it's going to be a huge crowd with triggers EVERYWHERE (picture margarita/beer/liquor tents set up all around San Francisco City Hall) but I want to see my friends, so off with me in a couple hours. :)
Click to expand...

Have fun! Wish I could join you, the lineup looks pretty good!
 
monchi said:
my reward for all of this? more money in my pocket for a trip to escape the olympics! and a better bikini body to boot ;)
Click to expand...

I thought I was going to be taking a vacation to escape the olympics.. (Chicago)

Anyways I am noticing a slight increase after 5:00 (usually when I start drinking). Nothing major, just a headache and little bit more anxiety. I was very slightly nauseous earlier. Not super hungry but I have an appetite.

The cravings have been strangely subdued. Actually everything has been. I hurt worse from 2 weeks of daily opiate use compared to this. I don't think a taper has ever had this dramatic of an effect, or maybe its because I spaced it out over a week.
 
thanks for the encouragement everyone - it really helps to have the support and understanding.

i managed to drag myself out of the house today to go for a walk and run general errands with a close girlfriend. feeling better, a bit of anxiety but that is normal i guess. also picked up some melatonin so i will see if it helps me sleep tonight.
 
If the melatonin doesn't work try some kind of Diphenhydramine Pill.. two of those with some Valerian Root, l-trytophan and Kava Kava knock me out. Last time I quit I didn't have to take anything for sleep after a week.
 
Well I've been doing terribly.
This meth has such a hold on me, I hate the cravings...
My goal right now is just to last today without using.
 
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