Octsober!!

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Well...
I think I'm going to join in on Octsober. But I'm not going to totally quit (maybe save that challenge for next year), I'm just going to to lower my intake to about 0.5g of H a day. :]

With that being said...Here's my "story"

When I was smaller, ( ages 3-8 ), I watched my dad shoot dope up to twelve times a day. He'd been using for a long time before that too, just not as much, plus it was a secret. That being said, no one ever told me it wasn't OK. He said it was OK, and my mom didn't say anything.

Anyways, watching my dad put the needle in his arm was comforting, I'm not sure why, but back then it was comfort watching him nod off infront of the television on the couch. I was small and didn't understand why he did it or what he was doing, I only just understood why he did it so much and I guess I've found my own reasons to do it...

I've been dancing for fifteen years, basically my whole life, I love to dance. I love ballet. But ballet is a bitch on the feet, until you can get used to it. At the age of 8, I had my first "opiate", it was about 5mgs of oxy crushed up and dissolved in orange juice. My dad said that it was OK, and of course, I trusted him, BUT I got really sick from it. I didn't understand why, but he said that next time, it would help. Of course, I trusted him again. Back then I used to dance for two hours four times a week, it was horrible on my feet, but I was in the stage of perfection and it made me feel good, because I was doing something with my life. My dad gave me the crushed up oxys about twice a week. And it was OK, because I trusted him. It was a secret that we had kept from my mom until one day she found out that he wasn't giving me Tylenol. She was furious, but I told her that it was OK, because it made my feet feel better, I remember that day so well, she started to cry, and she told me to go to my room. They had this huge argument about it. That's what made them get divorced..

By the time I was nine, my parents were divorced and my mom got custody of me, because of my dad's addiction. The judge said that once he was clean, he'd be allowed visiting hours, but until then, he was allowed no contact. My dad never did get clean. I don't know where he is, and the last time I saw him, was the day that the judge ordered that he couldn't see me anymore. I was devastated, because we had a secret, and I didn't know who's fault it was..

Later that year, my mom got re-married...she got re-married to a fucking ATM machine. My step-dad is great, but he tries to be my dad way too much. Anyways, he adopted me when I was ten. I used to dream about my real dad sticking needles in his arm, and that made it kind of OK. It was comforting. Who knew that I'd become a "junky" just like him?

Anyways, in Grade Eight (13-14 year old), I started smoking weed, and it was great! I loved it. But after six months of smoking everyday if not every other day. I was so bored. So some of my friends suggested we do other stuff, so they got the 'script stuff out. And I liked it. I really fucking liked it.

When I was fourteen, I guess you could say that I had a problem with all the oxys and vikes. The oxys reminded me of when my dad used to give them to me, and that made it OK. That was comforting. I used to take 3 10mg a day, one with every meal, and that was OK. It made me feel like I had a part of him still with me. That was comforting for a while...when I had turned fifteen, some of my friends (who were all of course, older than me), asked if I wanted to try to shoot some dope, I asked what it was, and of course, it reminded me of my dad (my role model, no one had ever said what he was doing was bad), so I said yes. Even though it made me extremely sick I still liked it. It felt like I had a little bit of him inside of me. I started shooting dope on weekends and railing it sometimes after school. And it made me feel OK.

Close to when I turned sixteen, it had become a "habit", I was shooting dope everyday, it made me feel normal. I guess that's when I realized, I was a clone of my dad. I knew (and still know) that this has to stay a secret because my mom will abandon me just like she did with my dad and I won't be able to dance.

Anyways, I'm almost seventeen, and I am shooting about a gram a day. And taking a lot of prescription pills (especially on the days that I do go to school, because who knows what will happen if I shoot at school). Ocassionally, I will shoot a speedball, but we don't get good coke here.

I'm not ready to quit yet...It's a process that I'm going to take slowly, but I think that my goal is that by the time I turn 18, I will not be shooting dope anymore.

DsOc: Prescription pills, H and coke (on occassion)

Cap'n Jay
 
Well I guess Im in. I had some brandy two days ago so I never really make it past a few days, BUT its still September. OcSober fuck yeah
 
hopefully i'll remember to read the thread that's all aha.

Subscribe to it! Go to the box just to the upper left of "Post Reply" next time you reply and choose whether you'd like to be notified by e-mail and how often. Let me know if you have a problem and I will screenshot it. :)

N3O! Good luck on your first day. You did a lot to prepare over the weekend - hit the ground running, darling! <3
 
Okay after much deliberating I've decided I'm in.... kind of. I'm realistic so I'll aim for no drinking on weeknights. Daily drinking is one of my biggest issues at the moment so cutting it to weekends for a month and aiming for moderation on weekends will be a monumental goal as it is :) Best of luck everyone!!!
 
^^ I am SO glad to hear you're in for Octsober mate!! Your plan is very similar to mine, I believe in both of us. We can do this <3
 
Count me in too! It's time for me to stop fucking around with sobriety, start hammering the gym and stop all thoughts of drinking. I got myself in serious trouble at work and it's not going to happen again. Positivity about sobriety this time: fuck boredom, fuck loneliness, fuck dutch-courage. Staying sober this time.
 
I plan to stay off heroin for the whole month of Octsober and only drink beer :)

The hard liquor and dope are bad news for me and its time to leave them behind me
 
To Cap'n Jay: you go girl! Wow...stay strong; a beginning is just that...

I count myself lucky; I’ve never had withdrawals, at least not that I’ve realized as withdrawals; I’m not a drinker to falling down drunk and blacking out, just to get a happy feeling. I over indulge occasionally, but that is the exception. (But it takes me a substaintail amount to get to my over indulgence like a bottle plus of wine, more than a half 750 ml of booze, etc.) My problem is that I drink everyday! Everyday! I don't drive, I don't put me or my kids in a bad situation but I drink 3+ everyday! My liver can't be happy.

I'm going to try and find the supplements tomorrow...are they anywhere or do I need to go a natural store or a GNC? And for everyone else on this thread that's not a boozer would you recommend for other types of addictions?

Belarki and n3o...I'm more into your kind of Octsober I'll start with the weekdays and try for the weekends.

To top it all off I have to travel to Germany for my work during Octoberfest. At least it's early in the month. So my goal for Germany is total MODERATION! I won't have any "known" coworkers/friends on my trip...but I've never had a problem drinking by myself.8(
 
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This is an awesome idea!
<3
My names is Rebecca

and I have been taking vicodin off and on since I was 16 [now 18] and been taking it stright for 8 months I think a break is much need, especially since I've started to get in oxy again which screws with my tolorance. So hoping by getting off I can lower my tolorance or maybe discover sobrity is the way to go. I have been kinda bored with being high. . .going sober kinda sounds. . .fun lol.

So my goal is one week of soberity in october! :D
 
I'm going to try.
Using meth on the weekend after 4 months off has made me realise I need to do some reassessment of where I want to go from here.

My DOC are methamphetamine and alcohol though I use everything else I can get too. Whatever I take I take to excess, though alcohol and meth have been the most frequent and the ones that have caused me the most trouble.

After a whole lot of bad shit happening, I was able to finally get off the meth 4 months ago, after heaps of unsuccesful attempts. That drug was def causing me the most problems and my life got better once I had quit. But I ended up substituting with alcohol and other drugs. Even though I'm in a better place than I was 4 months ago, I just feel like I half arsed it. I'm not satisfied with my life because I'm not getting anywhere, I'm still just managing but not actually getting anywhere.

So that's why my goal is to stay off all drugs and alcohol for one month.
Scary scary.
 
^^ I know, it is a bit scary/daunting, but just take it each day at a time, baby steps <3 :)


*edit* [moved it to the Alcoholism thread]
 
Yeh i agree with redleader hope it doesn't make me want to go crazy in november.

maybe i should have an allowance for each month after that.. kind of like a plan of action or intoxication or limits.. or two sessions a month.. and one month on one off or something.

who knows.
 
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^ good luck footsy <3

I used to have a wee bit of a speed problem too but it became too ridiculously expensive over the years. I'm kind of in the same place as you; just existing in life without making any real progress. Alcohol is without a doubt not helping so hopefully a month of moderation will help :)

giggles at ryka's edit

n3ophy7e said:
^^ I am SO glad to hear you're in for Octsober mate!! Your plan is very similar to mine, I believe in both of us. We can do this

Thanks, I'll be looking to this thread for support though I'm sure :) Is L-Glutamine easy to find at chemists etc or is it best ordered online? I might grab some milk thistle too. About time I put some more effort into general health & wellbeing.
 
^^ Check out health food/supplement stores belarki. Some chemists have it, and if they do it'll be with the protein and other supplements section. (This is the chain of stores where I got mine last time, stores in Brisbane: http://www.gnclivewell.com.au/OurStores/GNC-Brisbane-Suburbs.aspx )
Milk thistle, I'm not sure about, but I'd imagine you'd definitely find it in the same types of places.

Yeh i agree with redleader hope it doesn't make me want to go crazy in november.

Fixed ;)

maybe i should have an allowance for each month after that.. kind of like a plan of action or intoxication or limits.. or two sessions a month.. and one month on one off or something.

who knows.

That is a great idea mate. Good luck! <3
 
I also have been brought up in an environment of alcoholics. I fought drinking for a long time, and never really did the teenage drinking thing. I started drinking to withdraw from gbl and to ease pains in my life/relationship and that is the biggest mistake I have ever made. Because I suffer from anxiety, every day there are pains that I should be learning how to manage but instead I drink them away. I hate that alcohol is EVERYWHERE I turn. At the height of my addiction was a 6 month unemployment stint where I would drink myself into oblivion every day. I also would drink with benzos a lot – stupidly unaware of the dangers.

Thank god I had my housemate at that time and I my now sober mum. If I didn’t I’m afraid of where I would be today. I’m what I guess you would might call a semi-functional alcoholic now and I think I have admitted to myself only once or twice that I am “the a word”. I freely admit I have a drinking problem but I’m in a bit of denial about being an “alcoholic”. That word has a lot of connotations for me as I see addiction being the main reason I don’t know my dad (he’s a heroin addict) and because I’ve fought so hard to avoid my own addiction I feel admitting defeat will make it harder to pick myself up. I hear myself saying this and I know it’s a massive contradiction. But it’s how I feel. I’m a control freak and alcohol is the thing I have least control over. Maybe I’m just not strong enough to really admit that to myself yet.

I’m in for Ocsober except for the 9th to the 11th. It is my friends birthday and mums wedding and I suffer in social situations without drinking. I’ve only had 3 beers in the last 2 days because I’m sick and my body is rejecting it. I think this is a good start!

I also want to prove to myself I can do it for a month, it will be the longest I’ve gone without. I’m afraid if I don’t I’m going to lose my job and ruin my life yet again.


Good luck every body <3
 
tg said:
I’ve only had 3 beers in the last 2 days because I’m sick and my body is rejecting it. I think this is a good start!

Ya, I get this too. And though it can be depressing, it's a good way of knowing that "enough's enough." I am especially glad that you're in on the Octsober idea. If you can meet your goals, I think you will come out of the month a completely different person. And you'll be so naturally happy. I am really rooting for you.

---

Ya, Glutamine is at GNC. That's where I get mine. Though it's probably not the cheapest source. I used to also buy it from that heathfoods store in the inside of the Myer shopping center in Brissy. Second level, across from Foot Locker. I think it would be cheaper there.

---

I've made it two days, as I started on the 28th. Let me be the equivalent of the "rabbit" in a road race if you will, but 2/34ths home :) Doing okay so far. Alcohol cravings have been largely psychological, but I seem to almost have a brick wall up in my mind right now about it at the same time. I've been really physically active the past two days, to the point of exhaustion, and I think this has helped me. Nights are still really, hard, though. As are the nightmares. But so far so good. Cannot wait until everybody's on board officially :)

Glad to see all of the other new people too!
 
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^ thanks for the glutamine links. I'm a hop skip and a jump from the city so am pretty close to a store. I've just seen it online for considerably cheaper at www.purenutrition.com.au but their delivery times aren't great.

Cannot wait until everybody's on board officially... Glad to see all of the other new people too!

Haha yeh it's encouraging! Go go team darkside teetotallers!
 
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