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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Octsober!!

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ok this is it. i just took my last line of oxy and im about to take my last three vicodin. . .
tomorrow cold turky. . im kinda excited. . i got benzos, asprin and immodem ready haha
i haven't been off in a year.. . .[besides a four day break in july]

right now im hoping for a week. . .but who knows hopefully longer.
anyways I'll be keeping everyone posted. . .im going to need support. . lol
:}
 
Happy Happy Birthday to Chemist and RedLeader! <3

I still haven't had anything containing alcohol to drink. If you don't count my free pass against me (I don't) I'll have been fully abstinent for 14 days tomorrow. I quit for 14 days a few years ago on the induction phase of the Atkins diet (which doesn't allow any alcohol in the induction phase). The morning of Day 15 I started off with a vodka and diet soda. 8) :\ This will be a personal best.

I'm making something for dinner that requires some white wine to develop the flavors, which should be a test. I haven't even handled a bottle of alcohol in 2 weeks. I asked my boyfriend to please get a small bottle (4 oz) of shitty wine and take it and any leftovers for himself to drink (he does not have a drinking problem, thankfully) out of my presence.

We're almost halfway through with this... unbelievable, really. I had a couple days where I wasn't sure I'd make it, where it was just me and my willpower fighting against the desire to drink. I took a Xanax each time and shut off the little devil on my shoulder saying "one won't hurt". The tremor being gone is reward enough, though overall I feel healthier, my digestive system works like it should, and the anxiety around procuring alcohol or hiding that I had a drink is of course gone. My wallet is much healthier, too. I'll be able to afford the Iphone at month's end no problem.

Keep going, guys... once you pass the 100-hour milestone, particularly the alkies, you will notice that something about you is different, and you will like what you see when you look in the mirror. That's the best part of quitting - feeling as though you are in control again, not your addiction.
 
phactor said:
I'm quickly moving towards the no herb, but no coffee equals grumpy phactor.

I was planning on stopping last friday but I ended up extending it a bit. I have no problem with herb and can put it on the backburner until everything I need to do for the day is done. I'm stopping it because it does cloud the mind a bit. Shame, because I am realizing I enjoy it much more without the alcohol. For years I thought the exact opposite.
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Kind of the opposite with me. I've been taking more caffeine lately because I haven't been sleeping much, but it's not hard to go multiple days without it.

Weed is a little different. There was a 4.5 year period where I smoked everyday. The only time I really have any days off from it are when I spend the entire day with my girlfriend.

It's going to be hard to cut down on herb as it's so ingrained in my normal routine. Come home from work/school - gotta get stoned; about to go to class/work - gotta get stoned; feel like going for a run - think I'll get stoned first; wanna watch some TV - hey how about some weed!


I ended up taking some suboxone yesterday around 85 hours. Was a little disappointing that I cracked, but it felt nice to feel ok/good. I definitely like suboxone more the less I take it. I think I may actually use is it every so often if I do get off of it.

If you've been taking something for a long time, not going more than 12-14 hours without it, it's hard to suddenly make the jump to never taking it again, so the fact that I had multiple 24+ hour spurts and a 43 hour and an 85 hour spurt without any suboxone last week is very encouraging.

Hopefully I can improve on that this week.
 
This shit ain't easy, man. I was tossing around the idea of using but I can't be fuckin' around like that. I was thinkin' a couple of beers would hit the spot but beer doesn't take me to where I want to be and it would simply make it easier to head to the city to get what I REALLY want

With my tolerance being down I was thinkin that after a couple beers I could head downtown and grab a bag and a spike (pretty much all I can afford) but FUCK THAT.

I called my sponsor and he put things in perspective for me. He says that boredom is another word for peaceful and since I'm new into this thing that there is going to be a bunch of discomfort because I'm used to chaos and being high. He says it'll take some time to be ok with the unadulterated me because I probably have no idea who the unadulterated me is.

Anyway, I didn't get high with anything and am hittin' a meeting in a couple of hours.

Oh! Happy Birthday, Chemist!!!!!
 
OverDone said:
This shit ain't easy, man. I was tossing around the idea of using but I can't be fuckin' around like that. I was thinkin' a couple of beers would hit the spot but beer doesn't take me to where I want to be and it would simply make it easier to head to the city to get what I REALLY want

With my tolerance being down I was thinkin that after a couple beers I could head downtown and grab a bag and a spike (pretty much all I can afford) but FUCK THAT.

I called my sponsor and he put things in perspective for me. He says that boredom is another word for peaceful and since I'm new into this thing that there is going to be a bunch of discomfort because I'm used to chaos and being high. He says it'll take some time to be ok with the unadulterated me because I probably have no idea who the unadulterated me is.

Anyway, I didn't get high with anything and am hittin' a meeting in a couple of hours.

Oh! Happy Birthday, Chemist!!!!!
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wow thats quite amazing you thought threw how much money you had and your tolorance so you knew you could get a nice high and thought about it was proberly the most tempting thing and then you called you sponsor. . .great job. . i don't even know you but im proud lol. . i know when I think about scoring when im off. sometimes it takes me in. .but that was awesome! kudos!
 
Everyone is really doing well!

OD way to go man! You fought it and won!

I'm up to 48 hours again..after a permissive drinking event on Sat that I extended to Sunday. Tons of stuff left in the house too but don't want it.

I also went through the house and cleaned out all my hiding spots today. I didn't have any thing but empty bottles in them, but they are gone now...no reminders.

My SO (who is also a BL member) finally decided to read my threads...he knows I post but I guess he never thought about where I post and about what I post...anyway he told me he'll help however I want...not sure how I want him to help yet, just be supportive.

Very sad tonight but I AM NOT drinking...

Happy Birthday Chemist and RL!
 
Day 13. Just got in a major fight with someone because they felt like I was transferring my alcohol addiction to Valerian root and kava. This same person said "I will never believe you because of your past".... fair enough, but I reminded them that I have been drinking daily for close to 8 years. A Valerian pill or two isn't going to do jack shit and you do not get "high" off of them. I then said one Tylenol PM is stronger, again they do not believe me.

Anyways besides that work is just killing me. Today should be a little lighter, but its going to be a later night. I just am so sick of these asshole parents. Gotta keep studying because I need to get the fuck out of this job. Anyways not in the best mood today.
 
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Ryka said:
anyway he told me he'll help however I want...not sure how I want him to help yet, just be supportive.
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That is so great he's on board Ryka. It might be hard at first because you'll have to adjust to being completely 100% honest with him about your sobriety (or lack thereof, if the case may be), but overall it will make it easier in the long run that you have his support.

Ryka's SO, if you're reading this, best of luck to you both. If you need support yourself, or have any questions, feel free to ask :) <3


I've been sober since Sunday (it's Thursday). As some of you may recall my goal for Octsober was to not drink through the week and limit my consumption on the weekends. Well, that's just not good enough. The first weekend of October was okay, I actually didn't drink as much as usual. But then I continued to drink through last week and all weekend. Back to the same old habits. Once I've had a drink on Monday, it's that little voice in my head that says "Ahhh fuck sobriety, who needs it!" and it continues on all week.

But I'm so determined to get through this weekend without a drink. I actually feel like I can do it too. I'm exercising a lot, every day, taking heaps of supplements, and feeling like a million bucks :) The L-glutamine I'm taking is really reducing my cravings too, I've hardly felt like a drink at all this week (usually it is a REAL BATTLE). My partner, as some of you may know, is also an alcoholic, which makes it SO much harder to abstain. If one of us caves, we both cave. He is always the purchaser of the alcohol, and it has taken a lot of coaxing and cajoling this week to get him to agree to NOT buy any alcohol for this weekend. But he's agreed not to. Now we'll have to apply all our distraction methods to get through the cravings, e.g. go swimming, take the dog to the park, go see a movie, practise soccer at the local sports field etc etc.

This afternoon will be a challenge, I'm meeting a friend at a pub, but I'm determined to just have lemon lime & bitters. Once I get up to the bar and order that, I'll be fine :)

It's so great to hear about everyone else's successes. This has been a fantastic venture, thank you TDS staff :) <3
 
I'm gonna join in the festivities. Been smoking weed daily for past few months, been dabbling on the brink of dependence with Benzos and GBL and Alcohol the past few months. Went through 6x40mg Oxycontin few weeks back. Hit the cocaine and mephedrone a few times in the past week. I've been off the cigarettes a few months though!

Well, gonna let it all go for the rest of October, then I'll bring a few back in, probably just Alcohol and GBL on occasions and weed once in a while. But no substances for rest of October except the last beer I've got, gonna drink that tonight.
 
I'm a week sober now, partly because I want to stop for good and partly because I spent so much money on booze last month I've had to scrimp this month.

I'm doing loads of exercise too n3ophy7e and that's my saviour at the moment.

Only trouble is: I get really moody at night-time. Negative thoughts about my life in general. It's annoying, as I know that without a drink I'll wake up happy and raring to go in the morning.

Anyone else get the evening blues?
 
^ i get the evening blues big time. i feel restless, and have trouble relaxing, falling to sleep. but you're right; i never wake up wishing i had been drinking the night before.

just got back from a massage. feels good. its nice to be good to your body. :)
 
I get the midmorning/early afternoon blues.

I just have trouble motivating myself to do anything. If I can get myself dressed and to eat something, I can usually move on from there. It might take me 2 or 3 hours though. :\


52 hours now (without suboxone; still toking up whenever I feel like it). Feel better than I did last time I was at 52 hours. :) That run earlier really helped. Exercise is a distinct must.
 
RedLeader said:
I'm back on the sober train. Spent the past 48 doing a decent amount of drugs for my birthday celebration. But actually, got a lot of positive stuff out of it and feel good about the rest of this month, and the upcoming year. <3
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good to hear brother. :)

Carl, youre doing great man, keep it up. positive vibes your way my friend. <3
 
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