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octSOBER - let's do this!

How do you guys deal with cutting bad ties? Can you still be around the drugs/booze? All my friends drink and unless I cut all of them out, I dont know how Im gonna do this.
 
ChemicalRomantic said:
How do you guys deal with cutting bad ties? Can you still be around the drugs/booze? All my friends drink and unless I cut all of them out, I dont know how Im gonna do this.
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I changed my people, places, and things. I still hang out with old pot smoking friends as it doesnt trigger me and people who drink dont bother me as i was never a drinker. Just hang around people and places that you dont feel pressured to use.
 
mrflowers00 said:
i have majorly failed octsober so i give up
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I have too, but again, I'm back and ready for another round.

May as well try again. The worst that can happen is we fail, but at least we've tried.

Well done to everyone that has tried, and congratulations to those of us that have made progress and have been able to make positive changes. Keep at it.
 
Any progress is progress. At least you got as far as you did and you TRIED. Many people didnt even want to try, so who know, try for NObender where we try again.
 
Something happened at work today, where I got blamed for something that really was not my fault (trust me, I've given up playing the victim in life...but this was some BULLSHIT ;):\) and who knows what the end result is gunna be. I was having heaps physical anxiety earlier and thought about misbehaving. I came home instead and just went to sleep, sleeping through my soft commitments for tonight, but woke up too late to really make using a possibility. Got a good workout and a good meal in, but I'd be lying if I said I felt really that good in my head at all. I'm really stressed out right now. Oh well, though, another day sober.
 
^that's real progress, after stacking up a bunch of those shit days you'll start to feel better.

I ended up quitting my job this week after a big stimulant binge. Mostly because my anxiety was out of control at work and i couldn't really function without benzos, not at that place anyway. It was a bit of a depressed next day impulse decision but ultimately i would have a nasty polydrug addiction if i had to keep working there. So really my octsober is doing a restart this week, hopefully will finish out the month with 13 days benzo free.
 
@Mel and Robot and mrflowers: Having the intention to make a change is a huge step because it is the most vulnerable of all. We are all afraid to fail in others eyes but even more so in our own eyes. It is such a vulnerable place to decide to try that I think it is already a success and not a failure just to bring yourself to that place. Each time you try and fall back, you learn something about your weaknesses, your triggers and vulnerabilities. That is knowledge you can take with you. The more self knowledge you have the greater control you have over your life.

@ RL and Robot--work stress sucks. Mine is usually self-imposed but I had a helluva week this week and had all sorts of irrational thoughts of quitting. In your case, Robot, it sounds like that was actually the healthy thing to do. In mine it would have been ridiculous.8)

@Chemicalromantic--I would take a soft approach maybe. Try to start developing other interests that expose you to people that are not drinkers--or at least what you do with them doesn't center around drinking--and also consider telling your closest friends that you are struggling with drinking and want to spend time with them but are having a hard time when it is a situation where everyone is drinking. Who knows? You may inspire someone else in that group and end up with a whole new source of support.<3
 
yay! i'm so glad you guys brought this back. I had 9 months clean and sober from EVERYTHING on the 5th of this month (: just glad that i'm finally getting this shit. i'll talk more when i actually have the time....it's amazing how much more productive you become when you're sober. STAY STRONG GUYS!
 
thanks herb that really helps. I've been kind of going back and forth in my head whether it was a bad decision or a good one, i wasn't making much money though, it was mostly a way for me to get out and try to stay healthier but it ended up causing more problems. It seems i'm always stuck in this cycle of working + active addiction and then no work and withdrawals. It's been like this for a few years now but this time around i actually have a plan to get out of it and break the cycle. I even said i wish i had some time off so i can detox from opiates (and stay away from benzos) and now the time is here but i definitely don't feel ready to go cold turkey. I think it's the withdrawal anxiety that scares the shit out of me and of course the PAWS which i have never actually recovered from.
 
ChemicalRomantic said:
How do you guys deal with cutting bad ties? Can you still be around the drugs/booze? All my friends drink and unless I cut all of them out, I dont know how Im gonna do this.
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I am one month clean, as of now, and WOWZAH it feels SO fucking good. Just had to put that out there!

Anyways, I have been clean for 90 days ONCE before, and I know exactly why I relapsed..I refused to cut off contact with my junkie buddies. I felt afraid to cut them off because without them, I had no friends! In reality, none of those people were my REAL friends, anyway. This time around, I just deleted EVERYONE on my phone, and wrote down the numbers of my loved ones (family members, sober people from NA, etc.). I knew that if I held onto my dealers, my user friends, or people that bought Suboxone from me, I would be tempted to call them when I have a craving.

A common problem that I noticed many other patients had while I was in treatment was that alcoholics claimed that NOT being around alcohol here and there was damn near impossible. Yes, alcohol is almost everywhere, but there are ways you can avoid being around it. Sometimes, it IS impossible to avoid it, and in those situations YOU need to come up with a personalized plan! Everyone is different, and what may work for one addict may NOT work for you. Seriously, you need to make sure your loved ones understand that it is SO difficult for someone early on (and even late) in recovery to be around his/her drug of choice/booze. You need to explain to them that this is SERIOUS, and they cannot drink/use around you.

To sum it up, in all honesty, the best advice I can give and have been given is AVOID these people! If you do end up hanging with them and they do not respect your boundaries, GET RID OF THEM, ASAP! You need to be crystal clear on what, exactly, your boundaries are! Again, if he/she doesn't respect your rules and boundaries, you have to let them go. It's sad! It sucks! It blows!..but, if you are willing to do whatever it takes for your recovery, you MUST do it. Trust me, I wasn't thrilled getting rid of about 60 numbers in my phone, but now that they're gone, I feel less tempted. Also, it may or may not be beneficial to you to explain to him/her BEFORE you just delete their number/stop hanging with them. Most people deserve an explanation as to why they are no longer a part of your life :)
 
XTCAKE said:
A common problem that I noticed many other patients had while I was in treatment was that alcoholics claimed that NOT being around alcohol here and there was damn near impossible. Yes, alcohol is almost everywhere, but there are ways you can avoid being around it. Sometimes, it IS impossible to avoid it, and in those situations YOU need to come up with a personalized plan! Everyone is different, and what may work for one addict may NOT work for you. Seriously, you need to make sure your loved ones understand that it is SO difficult for someone early on (and even late) in recovery to be around his/her drug of choice/booze. You need to explain to them that this is SERIOUS, and they cannot drink/use around you.
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Ya, this is very important. I know that a lot of people have told me things like "man up and just don't use if it's around you" or, and this is a common response to me asking for family members to not trigger me, "you mean you're thinking about relapsing? After all the pain you've put people through? How dare you. Thanks, RL." I've actually been in a situation before where I had to attend court just a few blocks away from where I'd buy drugs, and dealers would actually accost you on the way from your car to the courthouse. Talk about a bad situation!

The way that I always spun it was that when I tell people to do this or to not do that so that I am not triggered, I make a point to emphasize that it's not just triggers of the actual drug experience, but it's triggers of horrible memories associated with addiction that can occur. Loved ones can get all bent-out-of-shape when it comes to drug use, but they are often more sympathetic when you ask for help with avoiding painful memories. At least in my experience this is the case.
 
Last rolled 3 weeks ago ended up taking 3 120mg caps of pure MDMA throughout the night with 2c-b and K also. This past weekend did just a small amount of K about .4 total. Little to no K and no rolling until halloween for me. Been taking valium a little more frequently then I'd like so trying to cut back a bit on those but just got about 25 of them for free so it'll be difficult.
 
1 week of my 28th year alive complete. And drug/drink free. 7 days of eating and exercising well. Nothing too bad happened this week, but next week there's the chance of something bad happening on Monday or Tuesday. So of course that's stressing me out like crazy. Day-by-day I keep telling myself.
 
Hello, I'm Sean. My drugs of choice are heroin and cocaine. Two weeks ago I relapsed on both after a month of sobriety. I took 2mgs of suboxone five days ago and have stopped smoking weed as of today.

I've had to cut out plenty of people from my life, and I'm okay with that; and I may never be able to return to my hometown without relapsing, and I can live with that even.

It's past the middle of octsoberfest but I intend on keeping this up as long as I can.

Cheers!
 
I smoked a cigarette today. So disgusting, I don't know how I used to be an opportunistic smoker. My fingers and clothes smell, my heart and throat feel funny. But I have no will-power against cute girls who offer me cigarettes and conversation. Still clean/sober from everything else. About to eat and go workout.

I hope everyone else is strong <3
 
Seanjay said:
Hello, I'm Sean. My drugs of choice are heroin and cocaine. Two weeks ago I relapsed on both after a month of sobriety. I took 2mgs of suboxone five days ago and have stopped smoking weed as of today.

I've had to cut out plenty of people from my life, and I'm okay with that; and I may never be able to return to my hometown without relapsing, and I can live with that even.

It's past the middle of octsoberfest but I intend on keeping this up as long as I can.

Cheers!
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Always time to join the octsoberfest :)

mr flowers- just keep at it man. Sobriety is something you can achieve.
 
<3<3<3<3<3<3:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
Today's my six months, bitchesss.
:)
Other than that, I hope that everybody's staying strong and perservering.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

<3
 
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