this is my first time ever entering this subforum after being on bluelight for a long time. I am looking for a change. Its very hard to reconcile the idea that i would never use drugs again, especially psychedelics since they mean so much to me on a personal level even though I only use them a few times a year. I guess thats why they say take it day by day? Because thinking about never touching drugs again is just unreal to me right now. Are group meetings worthwhile? They seem kind of kookie to me with all the higher power stuff, and I'm worried about meeting other users, because i don't have access to a street dealer anymore...for the better. But having a real life support network that knows what i feel like seems like it could help
I know that I must not do alcohol and MJ and opiates anymore. The havoc on my mental heatlh, my marriage and professional life that these drugs bring is what I really want to escape. I am down to about 0.01 mg of suboxon per day (don't laugh...i cannot sleep unless i do this at night).
this is my first time ever entering this subforum after being on bluelight for a long time. I am looking for a change. Its very hard to reconcile the idea that i would never use drugs again, especially psychedelics since they mean so much to me on a personal level even though I only use them a few times a year. I guess thats why they say take it day by day? Because thinking about never touching drugs again is just unreal to me right now. Are group meetings worthwhile? They seem kind of kookie to me with all the higher power stuff, and I'm worried about meeting other users, because i don't have access to a street dealer anymore...for the better. But having a real life support network that knows what i feel like seems like it could help
I know that I must not do alcohol and MJ and opiates anymore. The havoc on my mental heatlh, my marriage and professional life that these drugs bring is what I really want to escape. I am down to about 0.01 mg of suboxon per day (don't laugh...i cannot sleep unless i do this at night).
Hey LucidSDreamer welcome to Sober Living. It is my favorite forum on the bluelight. Sobriety is definitely worth it and with the drugs that you are having problems with it only gets worse. I have been working hard on my sobriety over the last 2.5yrs with some relapses and struggles here and there but I have put together significant clean time before and taking it one day at a time is very important. I find recovery groups to be awesome simply because I get bored and lonely so easily and don't know what to do with myself. I crave interaction and if you find the right group than the people really are great.. They are friendly, open and they really want to help. I just started going back to groups again after a relapse and after 2 groups I have already gone out to Uno's after a group with some guys and gals where they bought me pizza because I am broke at the moment, got invited to game night on Friday, found a work out partner and have a new sponsor that I am going to start going through the steps again with.
If you feel you need support than 12step meetings are awesome but don't just do the meetings but get involved with the extracurricular activities because that is where the bonding, friendship and fun takes place. It truly does help to have like minded people with the same goals to surround yourself with. I wouldn't get to hung up on the higher power thing. You can always replace God or higher power with something like positive vibrational energy or really anything you want such as the power of the group.
Good luck and keep posting... Nice to run into you in SL as I usually run into you in Drug Culture
I don't know how to post two different quotes from separate people...... 10Yearsafter.... That is rough and I am sorry you are having to go through all that with your husband, mother in law and the dreaded having the drugs offered to be waiting on your arrival. I have been through that so many times and certainly understand the mental struggle. Hang in there girl. You know it gets better. Do what ever you have to do to squash that reservation. Don't wait to long to close that option open or the anticipation/cravings will only increase as the time gets closer and closer to them becoming a reality because you are giving your addictive brain a window of hope and possibility. By the time arrives your mind will have already snowballed making the decision a lot harder. Keeping you in my prayers.
Somni
^i have 2 mg strips and cut them with a razor into pieces so small they are less than 1mm wide and about 1 or 2mm long...havn't done the math. but trust me I can tell that a piece that small has an effect as soon as it kicks in an hour later and i can finally sleep. Havn't smoked in many months, but have been doing edibles on weekends for about the last month. and it destroyed my progress as far as mental stability, along with very heavy drinking to blackout sessions.
ive been totally off of opioids twice before in the last 7 yyears, both were not as good of a taper and from heavy habits (one time from a 5 year IV career, so I know this time is much easier as my tolerance was never that high to begin with this time since it was just kratom abuse mainly this time with some hard opioids here and there.
Thanks, yea I havn't been posting in DC as much as I used to, posting every night about what drugs i was on can't really happen when I'm not on drugs everynight anymore. I thought it might be better for motivation to post about how I didn't do drugs for X many days....which I'm happy to say I have not abused drugs on a weeknight for 2 weeks and hopefully I can widdle that down even further.
The problem is that I know as soon as I have a bad day, something shitty happens, my back hurts it will all go to hell again...that's what I'm worried about.
If you feel you need support than 12step meetings are awesome. Don't just do the meetings but get involved with the extracurricular activities because that is where the bonding, friendship and fun takes place. It truly does help to have like minded people with the same goals to surround yourself with. I wouldn't get too hung up on the higher power thing. You can always replace God or higher power with something like positive vibrational energy or really anything you want such as the power of the group.
this is my first time ever entering this subforum after being on bluelight for a long time. I am looking for a change. Its very hard to reconcile the idea that i would never use drugs again, especially psychedelics since they mean so much to me on a personal level even though I only use them a few times a year. I guess thats why they say take it day by day? Because thinking about never touching drugs again is just unreal to me right now. Are group meetings worthwhile? They seem kind of kookie to me with all the higher power stuff, and I'm worried about meeting other users, because i don't have access to a street dealer anymore...for the better. But having a real life support network that knows what i feel like seems like it could help
I know that I must not do alcohol and MJ and opiates anymore. The havoc on my mental heatlh, my marriage and professional life that these drugs bring is what I really want to escape. I am down to about 0.01 mg of suboxon per day (don't laugh...i cannot sleep unless i do this at night).
I've always wanted to go to a meeting but I worry it would just be uncomfortable for me. I'm like the most anti-social person in the world. I enjoy being alone and that was before drugs. My interactions usually deal with people online from games and even then I'm really not a talker. I did it at my jobs and faked the smiles and conversation but really was just thinking how I was looking forward to them going away and leaving me be.
I don't have any friends anymore. I had one for years but we stopped talking. He went his way with a career, gf, and life while I kinda just stayed where I was. Wallowing in my own self-absorbed bull.
Would a meeting even be suitable for me?