(OC Oxycontin, 30mg) First & Second Time, "Finally!"

[artemis16]

I've waited a long time to make this post - to avoid any 'another one bites the dust' but equally to see how I felt in the wake of the experience.

I enjoy drugs, weed and md - but in order to gain a well rounded education, I have also experimented with coke, lsd, benzos and now opiates. I have a routine, I order enough of a substance for two experiences - which I have within a week of each other to see what the fuss is about - in general enjoy the way drugs make me feel, sleazy and sexy, and I've had fantasies about the lure of heroin for years - the total loss of control to a drug that makes you feel like God? So it wasn't without a lot of trepidation that I did this.

I found a great deal on generic OC 20s and bought them; typically expensive for what they are but I got a free one because it was my first purchase (a bad sign already). For weeks I kept them in my draw wondering whether it would be oblivion for me to try them. Do I chew and swallow them or do I crush and rail them. The latter was the only way for me - I understood that the bioavailability was lower but that only served to help me not OD at this point, besides - there's no beating around the bush: this is drug abuse.

Both experiences were similar and were had two days apart, I peeled and crushed one pill into two fine piles and snorted them - no burn, no bunged up feeling, within 5 minutes I felt the onset of what I can only describe as wooze which progressively got me more fucked up until I found myself just staring at my computer screen having not worked/written/googled whatever it was I was doing at the time for maybe 10 minutes. I was out of it.

I've not eaten all day and I don't experience any nausea, 40 minutes later I snort about a third of the second pill (for the second experience I railed 1 and 2/3 in one go) and soon I find myself nodding hard, in and out of not quite sleep. I lie down, stick on some TV and just mong, unlike weed, my thoughts are clear.

I feel good I guess (I don't feel bad), but mostly I just feel out of it - it wasn't the euphoria I was expecting, but I do feel like a clichéd movie junkie because for about 8 hours I'm incapable of doing anything other than lying down and zonking in and out. At its peak I notice that I cannot physically stop myself from nodding off - I try to fight it which is humorous for a few minutes and then go back to crashing. My fingers tingle and i'm a little numb and I itch my arms, forehead, eyes, nose and inner thighs - they're enjoyable to itch because I can't quite feel them.

On experience 1 my pupils don't pin for a while, then i'm too out of it to get up and check but for the rest of the day they're less than 5mm across, on the second experience they're pinned throughout.

While I felt content and relaxed and sleepy (oh my God so sleepy) I didn't feel in the presence of God, I didn't feel my troubles melting away (i'm pretty lucky in that I don't have any that weigh on me significantly). I mostly just felt fucked up - which isn't really for me.

The other thing that struck me was the length of the high, which is insane. Weed gets me blitzed for 90 minutes or so with a gentle body buzz that lingers for another two - but I was out of it for 6/7 hours and I still felt disoriented at 8 hours+, by which point I've noticed a little nausea which I can control. I didn't vomit either time.

I had an operation a few years ago, and was given an IV pre-med to sedate me and calm me down prior to surgery - which I call my one and only experience with a 'rush'. It left me fucked up for the rest of the day (and nauseous) and the very last hours of the OC left me feeling like this, able to function but just woozy and out of it.

I love love love weed, and when i've got a spare few days, and no work to do there's nothing more I like than getting fucked up with my bong, it seems to affect me more than other people and I love it. I also love the euphoria of MD and I was terrified of trying opiates because I honestly thought they might be my undoing so I am relieved that the experiences were underwhelming, for me at least, because I recognise that for many people it's a trap that, after long enough, leaves you feeling broken without it.

These experiences were a while ago and I've felt no cravings, like the other drugs I've tried (besides weed) i've felt no compulsion to do it again on a recreational level, I know where to buy more - a steady supply - but I haven't. I'm glad I experienced it because i'd gotten to a point where the curiosity just weighed on my mind daily - perhaps this over-anticipation was my saving grace, or maybe I just didn't do enough - either way, it's done it now. Back to the bong.

nb I was very aware of my breathing. I've read many reports of people getting so high that they realise they have to manually inflate their lungs because they've become so numb they just stop breathing autonomously. This didn't happen to me but I do remember being aware of it and coming to the conclusion that I could imagine it happening, my death right then and there and that i'd be ok with it. Not sure what that means.

 

[dirzted]

It's good that you are so cautious about trying to not have a drug problem, but, as stupid as this may sound, you may be a little too cautious. I mean to the point where you're wanting to snort them rather than pop them just because the bioavailability is lower so you won't OD? If you're so afraid about becoming caught up in the "trap" you describe to the point where you're solely looking at the activity you are doing as "drug abuse" than I really wouldn't bother doing it in the first place. And you shouldn't necessarily look at it as that terrible of a thing because you're certainly not addicted to it and have a sensible method of trying out new drugs to prevent that. If you're going to try a new substance than be accepting of what you are doing and ready to examine the proceeding alteration of consciousness, but if you think of it solely as a sort of taboo than just don't bother doing it at all because you really won't be getting anything out of it.
Sorry I don't mean to sound too judgmental or condescending but it seems like you analyze the activity so extremely that it makes your choices poorer than they were to be if you didn't analyze it. I mean to a certain extent, like you need to properly research what the beginning doses for a person new to that substance are, what method of ingestion would be the best (almost positive it would not be railing in your case) and what to expect from it, but if you treat it with the pre-conceived notion that the thing you are doing is a horrible moral obscenity, than the choices coming from that mindset will be much different than the ones you would have if you had instead calmly accepted what you were doing.
It's really good you appreciate so greatly the fact that you didn't have a drug problem afterward, and, although you might want to watch your cannabis intake, you seem to have a fairly good mindset on what you're doing as far as your drug use goes. However, I would advise you take more time educating yourself about what substances you try and what mindset you have going into trying those substances.

 

[artemis16]

This FUCKING SITE.

Don't apologise for being a condescending or judgemental prick because I chose to try a drug that's claimed the lives of many MANY people with a little extra caution.

You're telling me I'm being TOO careful on a fucking website with a remit for harm prevention?

And picking at throwaway comments; my point here about insufflating the OC rather than chewing on it, was to experience the fastest onset possible, I wanted to abuse this drug - I'm not interested in pain management!

I wanted to experience peeling off the outer coating,
I wanted to share the experience of other bluelighters on here...

...the fact that it has a lower bioavailability was a throwaway comment mostly to demonstrate that I had done my fucking homework. You don't think 20mg insufflated is an appropriate dose for a first timer, with an extra 10mg 40 minutes later after assessing my level of fucked upness?

And for the record drugs ARE taboo, whether I think about them that way or not (as it happens I don't - if you couldn't tell from the fact that I USE DRUGS). I was afraid of the outcome of trying OC not because it was taboo but because of the ensuing addiction so many people experience.

I am all too aware of the significant number of users on here who are severely addicted to opiates, who love or loved them, who cannot or could not put them down. A drug, the addiction to which takes up a significant majority of TDS threads on this site and a drug that without trying you can never ever really understand.

A drug who, when first timers try it, are told repeatedly not to mess with that shit. A drug people suggest not trying because it's easier not to do something than to do it once and then no longer do it.

I've seen drug addiction close up, I've lost friends...lost lost, they didn't just move away - who vehemently detested drugs until they found the one that completed them, how did I know this wouldn't be me?

I don't think you can be too cautious - but I do think you can be too reckless and I can promise you if I'd gone into it with abandon, I'd be receiving a myriad of comments...

that I need to stop,
that my tolerance won't stay so low,
that i could slip into addiction,
that another one bites the dust,
that I've had my fun now don't pursue it further,
that no one plans to get addicted on their first try,
that this is how everyone else started out and now they're copping a bundle a day.

How do I know this? Because they turn up on every other OC/Hyrdro/H thread where the user has said, well I picked up such and such and I tried it...or I want to try it but I don't know if I should...any suggestions?

This is a comment for a comments sake so I'm going to ignore it because you're obviously a prick.

For instance...there is nothing in my post that tells you how frequently I use cannabis and you're telling me I should watch it? I use maybe once or twice a month with friends, I buy a gram of White Widow here and there and it does me fine. I have zero tolerance, and the reason I like a few days is because I feel so foggy the next day. I love it, I've loved it for a while, but that's how often I use. End of.

If that's too often then maybe you're a little too cautious about drug use.

 

[artemis16]

"You need to properly research what the beginning doses for a person new to that substance are."

DONE - you couldn't tell that by the way I didn't slam an OC80 and then die?

"What method of ingestion would be the best (almost positive it would not be railing in your case)."

How do you define what's best? I can either swallow it as prescribed, chew it and bomb it for a slower onset but greater bioavailability or snort it for faster onset, shorter duration and lower bioavailability, it seems to be like there isn't a 'best' per se short of bombing and railing combined, but I have no tolerance, I'd say if I was nodding, but experienced no negative effects of CNS depression that I judged it pretty fucking accurately.

"and what to expect from it."

How am I supposed to know what to expect from a drug I've never done before, beyond the pinned pupils, euphoria, warmth, itchiness experienced by other users, whose reports I devour with relish on an almost daily basis - many of whom go on to experience addiction. This is a substance that Erowid see fit to put a large "CAUTION: Reactions and experiences may vary dramatically from person to person." - so beyond the basics, how am I supposed to know exactly what to expect from it.

"but if you treat it with the pre-conceived notion that the thing you are doing is a horrible moral obscenity, than the choices coming from that mindset will be much different than the ones you would have if you had instead calmly accepted what you were doing."

Ok, did you even read my post? At no point did I say that taking drugs are a horrible or morally obscene or a combination of the two - do you think if I honestly believed that, that I'd take them in the first place? You keep going on about mindset, but the only real thought I had in my head was...what is this going to be like and am I going to love it so much I feel compelled to get more?

"I would advise you take more time educating yourself about what substances you try"

Obviously done, see above...and FYI I cannot educate myself about what mindset I already have, beyond coming to terms with it.

In conclusion:

I did.
You're an idiot.
Fuck off.

 

[dirzted]

Sorry for the misunderstanding.