obsessive, compulsive, contradictions contradiction contradictions

[Meatpuppet]

shit just isn't right today
why am i so inward and uptight today?
paranoid and so afraid
anxiety pressure silver spoon fed
echoing that voice in the back of my head
a faceless essense that lies inside
its my Messiah when i close my eyes
a world war infiltrate my mind
a whirlwind destroying all straight lines
a rollercoaster zipping forever in time
and everything dies when it stops on a dime
i just need trust to grow inside me
and letting you in feels like blasphemy
but i'm praying you can show me truth
fairy tale dreams of love evolving beyond youth
follow instincts or beileve in faith?
can i trust to eat from your plate?
or will it be venomously laced
will you vandalize and steal
with the expertise of a bandit
its almost like i need to catch
all your misactions redhanded
with an Amtrax juggernaught force its all consuming
complicated as the contradiction of humanity its so confusing
on one side of the scale is loneliness
but can that outweigh the phoniness
can i stand the pain either way
or will dementia settle in this final day
this is all too much to take in
second guessing, while i'm already stretched so thin
i'm losing control, closing in, watching it all spin
i'm too insecure again
can you handle my reactions?
or do i take a ride to hide?
maybe i just need to be convinced
in your confidence..or common sense
can we build to an infinite sum?
will we overcome? or to fear will i succum?
"crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal, fear is how i fall, confusing , confusing what is real"- Linkin Park