Obsessed with the idea of doing heroin

[Nocturne83]

For me, it's the threat of dirty urine screens that would get me kicked off of my suboxone maintenance program that keeps me in line. However, the obsession with it comes less frequently. I still think about heroin daily, but not craving it as badly as I did before. I worry that I'll also fail in staying sober when I come off of subs, but by then, I'm hoping to have such a saturated and busy life, that heroin can't come into the picture. Really, the only thing I wind up doing on dope is sitting around smoking cigs in my car(because I live with my parents and my car is the only place I CAN smoke), vegging out in front of my laptop, watching Netflix.
I'm actually watching Netflix right now, but I'm sober, and not smoking, so now I can veg out in my own room. I'm starting to learn now that there's nothing to be gained by shooting up.