Mellabopper
Bluelighter
I used to think you were perfect
for me
I used to be blind to your faults
and want you in the most unhealthy way.
but somehow,
luckily,
that all changed.
I don't know how it happened
all of a sudden my eyes were opened
and my mind became clear
I don't need you
you're no good for me.
I realized all of the flirting you do
and how much I can't handle that.
How little attention you give me
and how much I need that attention.
I found
that when I told myself
I was going to forget about you
as anything more than a fuck
(which is what you think of me -
don't deny it - I can tell).
And for one night that's it
that is all you were to me
(well not completely,
but I'd like to tell myself this)
somehow along the way
I realized I don't need you.
I need something more
than just physical attraction
I need to let my emotions free
I need someone to share those emotions with
and I finally realized
you would never be the one
who would listen or care
about me.
I almost asked you to leave last night
yes, right after sex
rather than having you spend the night
because I knew we wouldn't wake up in each others arms
not like people should wake up in each others arms
because what I felt just a few hours before
had vanished
as if my eyes were finally opened
to who and what you are
I don't understand you
but I don't have the time and strength
to try anymore.
I've seen enough
and felt enough.
I can't even cry over you anymore.
I've gone numb.
at least this way
the inevitable future
of you being with someone else
will not be so hard.
not this time.
maybe I'm slowly learning.
You are beautiful on the outside
so beautiful
but that isn't enough anymore
I thought something else
internal
connected
however I think I was wrong.
It was just the eyes of lust taking over
but they have a hold on me no more.
What the future will bring
I'm not so sure
but having gone numb,
I'm not so sure I care.
3-23-02
Mellabopper
for me
I used to be blind to your faults
and want you in the most unhealthy way.
but somehow,
luckily,
that all changed.
I don't know how it happened
all of a sudden my eyes were opened
and my mind became clear
I don't need you
you're no good for me.
I realized all of the flirting you do
and how much I can't handle that.
How little attention you give me
and how much I need that attention.
I found
that when I told myself
I was going to forget about you
as anything more than a fuck
(which is what you think of me -
don't deny it - I can tell).
And for one night that's it
that is all you were to me
(well not completely,
but I'd like to tell myself this)
somehow along the way
I realized I don't need you.
I need something more
than just physical attraction
I need to let my emotions free
I need someone to share those emotions with
and I finally realized
you would never be the one
who would listen or care
about me.
I almost asked you to leave last night
yes, right after sex
rather than having you spend the night
because I knew we wouldn't wake up in each others arms
not like people should wake up in each others arms
because what I felt just a few hours before
had vanished
as if my eyes were finally opened
to who and what you are
I don't understand you
but I don't have the time and strength
to try anymore.
I've seen enough
and felt enough.
I can't even cry over you anymore.
I've gone numb.
at least this way
the inevitable future
of you being with someone else
will not be so hard.
not this time.
maybe I'm slowly learning.
You are beautiful on the outside
so beautiful
but that isn't enough anymore
I thought something else
internal
connected
however I think I was wrong.
It was just the eyes of lust taking over
but they have a hold on me no more.
What the future will bring
I'm not so sure
but having gone numb,
I'm not so sure I care.
3-23-02
Mellabopper
your amazing
