I have realized that I spilled to many details of my life here without realizing the reprecussions..I took for granted that this is a harm reduction site for drugs, and assumed that most people here do drugs, even those with kids. Of all places, I figured here would be a place where one wouldn't be judged..I was wrong. I feel like a fool. I gave the wrong impression, which is my fault. Just to have you know, i'd die for my kids and thank God everyday that I have them. After losing my mother to cancer they kept life worth living...I hit a rough patch for a while about 5 yrs ago, but my outlook on life has improved greatly. People in my professional life have no idea the deamons I hide, even though my wife and I together bring home salaries that alot of people wish they had, our older son is in private school and we do everything to be great parents, but I am definitely not without sin and have personal issues I need to deal with.
I struggle daily with the fact that I am addicted to opiates, and wish I never started them, it was gradual and unexpected. I do have legit chronic back pain and having an overly aggressive doctor (not that I wasn't looking for the heavy artillery, because I was) I have now found myself in this Vortex of addication that I don't know how to get out of and am scared to death. I wish I can just get the courage up to go into my doctor next month and ask to be taken off of this stuff and put on Suboxone and eventually get clean, on the other hand..I really like having these things..it's definitely a double edge sword. I don't know what options I will have that will help with my pain after I get off of these, but I will need something. To those who I have rubbed the wrong way, I apologize, I normally don't act like that and am a bit ashamed. I will probably peruse the site from time to time, but will cut down on the posting..I'm just not feeling very social and feel that I didn't start off well making friends here, so I will politely step back.
Glad to hear W0lf..enjoy that stuff!!
