SEVERELY DISJOINTED: what's different about this time than all the other times? same situation, same choice... locked into a mindset, unable to break free, a prison of my own making... thoughts are constantly exploding and fading like fireworks... nothing tangible ever breaks through the barrier that is me.. nothing changes, everything stays the same.. travelled halfway around the world and it's like i took 2 steps, one to the right, and then one to the left... frustration no longer registers... pain is accepted as a way of life, no... life itself.... claustrophobia is what i fell everytime i take a breath... everytime i close my eyes... arrghh... the path to hell is lit with bright neon lights, and i can see a huge bed with silk sheets and a chocolate milkshake just waiting for me on the other side... the path to heaven is paved in broken glass.. and i can see my cell awaiting me there... does it matter which path i choose? does it really make a difference? will i even know i'm there when i arrive? i'm nothing and everything at the same time.. i see nothing and everything at the same time.. i feel nothing and everything at the same time... i want to scream... i want to laugh... i want to die? i want to live? i'm playing my own sick game over and over in my head, i can never win against so wily a player... is it time to stop trying? time to try harder? this war never ends... i'm so sick of it... these words mean nothing...everything?
[This message has been edited by Fusion808 (edited 18 September 2000).]
[This message has been edited by Fusion808 (edited 18 September 2000).]
