i need a goddamn spine im so indecisive and i hate it another reason to beat the hell out of myself. i just cant though i dont know why. fuck!!!!!!!!!! i guess it wil pass soon enough im tired of it though just waiting for my decisions to make themselves its like torture and im the only one who can stop it but i just cant find the courage. years of abusing body and ego only made things worse. why? Why still do it? how does it help? i can see the flaws but too paralyzed by fear to help myself. i know this is my problem and i dont need help fixing it. i know i have to pick myself up but sometimes id rather sink into the dirt and dissapear. but that would be the easy way out and i know better than that. just needed to write it down so i cant look away anymore time for action do something for yourself stop wasting......................
