Not sure what to do about my expensive heron habit

[fizzymk]

tomorrow will be 2 weeks free from methadone, Ive used dope about every other day since then, Ive blown WAAYY too much money on it...yesterday was so bad, I woke up from getting about 4 hrs of sleep only to have massive headache, body aches, cold chills, hot flashes, sweating, sneezing all the time, stomach cramping up, everything I try to eat comes right back out as the runs. Seems I can make it to about 4pm in a day before I say fuck it and text my dude and cop.

Not that I really care,but when he came to meet me yesterday, he had bought a brand new mercedes SUV...sucks, cuz I know Ive paid for a big chunk of it over the years!!

I actually was going to try and not cop yesterday, I went to work but all I could think about was how I could get ahold of some money to buy, I kept thinking about that bitter heroin 'taste', needless to say, my fucking mouth was watering, so I managed to con someone I know out of a few hundred bucks by asking them to borrow the money to get my car fixed, which was not broke, so they are expecting me to pay them back this friday or saturday...I do have a check coming tomorrow but wont be for much, cuz I didnt work much the week before, it definitely wont be enough to pay her back, and will barely be enough for me live on another week...that is, if I dont use most of it on dope the day I get paid!!

Add to that, I have car insurance bill due friday, car payment next tuesday and NO money for any of this, so it will be late or not paid at all.

Bout ready to say fuck it and leave this earth, I dont think I can live sober, Ive kinda been forced into quitting methadone, but as long as I have money, the H will always be available, seems my connection NEVER runs out LOL, so its not like Im actually wanting to quit, I just NEED to quit, I think there is a major distinction between the 2, Ive heard people that make it thru drug addiction, REALLY want to quit for their own good...I cannot say that though..I enjoy the drugs too much.

 

[VitamaN]

I'm pretty much in the same boat. I gotta get off the drugs and I know it but I don't wanna live sober either. I fucking hate it and like you, I have a constant supply and if it aint one dealer its another. Shit.

 

[inmfh4488]

get urself on some subs or meth clinic and start to save. dodge the medical bills from suboxone. seems to be your best route. live for a few months barly buzzed on subs and party every now and then till ur on ur feet and fuck it up all over again. i guess.

 

[sekio]

Kratom? Bulk kratom is (can be) cheaper than heroin & is fairly accessible for a maintenance drug.

When you lose your car due to nonpayment/insurance fuckups or lose access to credit (e.g. when people find out you're lying to them to get dope money) you will be sorely regretful. Spending money you don't have on dope instead of, you know, ensuring you can continue to make money, is not bright and is going to end you up in a pit eventually.

This probably belongs in The Dark Side, not OD.

 

[fizzymk]

Kratom? Bulk kratom is (can be) cheaper than heroin & is fairly accessible for a maintenance drug.

When you lose your car due to nonpayment/insurance fuckups or lose access to credit (e.g. when people find out you're lying to them to get dope money) you will be sorely regretful. Spending money you don't have on dope instead of, you know, ensuring you can continue to make money, is not bright and is going to end you up in a pit eventually.

This probably belongs in The Dark Side, not OD.

This sucks because I was able to keep all of this under control for so many years...Im kind of still pissed one drug test showing positive for morphine (heroin) could bring it all crashing down...why did they not give me a written warning for this, or at least up my drug test frequency to keep a better eye on me? I cant understand how they can discharge someone from one incident in over 8 something years???

In your opinion, what usually happens to people that end up in this condition, as in lying, borrowing money they cannot re pay, spending everything on dope, etc? Im assuming they hit rock bottom eventually where they can get NO more money...Im also betting this is what leads alot of addicts to turn to illegal means in getting money/drugs...Im not at that stage and probably never will be though, because I cannot think of anything worse that w/ding in a jail cell, where you cant even smoke cigarettes!

 

[bcfly7x7]

This sucks because I was able to keep all of this under control for so many years...Im kind of still pissed one drug test showing positive for morphine (heroin) could bring it all crashing down...why did they not give me a written warning for this, or at least up my drug test frequency to keep a better eye on me? I cant understand how they can discharge someone from one incident in over 8 something years???

Fizz,

Please don't take offense, but that answer is simple. They don't want to be shut down, or have thier license stripped. You probably signed paperwork beforehand that states as such. Most places that dispense or write scripts for schedule III narcotics have a no tolerance policy.

Oh, and you'd be surprised where using will take you. It might seem far fetched now, but don't worry, most in due time get there.

I hope you take the advice above and seek treatment or get on subs. It's solid advice, take it from those who have travelled that long dark lonely road.

I hope the best for you, good luck,

Bob

 

[partydisklasersex]

GOOD LUCK. hardest thing you'll ever do but once you conquer it you will be good!