Not sure I belong, but I'm here, so what the heck

[justno]

I'm new. I'm a 45 yr old medical person (only semi-vauge out of necessity, but I'm sure one can assume).I actually don't have a drug of choice. I hate my medicine and would give anything not to need it. I have a condition that makes it necessary unfortunately, and I have been living in utter hell for 10 yrs. As one might imagine, that can make for some pretty dark thoughts (I fight them off pretty much constantly). I've exhausted all reasonable solutions, but the truth is, there aren't any. I suppose you could call that suicidal, but even though I'm in hell, I don't have the strength to put the people I love in that position too. I would never harm myself; intellectually I find the thought repugnant, so don't worry, no need to call the authorities, and no need to assume I'm crying for help. There isn't any, and what good would it do me to cry here? I'm not looking for a support group, sympathy or anything really. I just thought that talking in general to people who have issues in the same vein as mine (not literally, my veins are virgins and will remain so, just meant similar circumstances, ish) might help. I actually don't even abuse my meds, but knowing they're there, and if I wanted to I could take one little extra dose, just to take the pain down even a fraction of a notch, takes more restraint than I even knew I had. Sure, I've robbed 'Peter to Pay Paul' with one dose here or there to survive a graduation or a holiday, but very rarely. I will have this problem my whole life, so I can't merely increase my doses (neither the right, nor wrong way), because eventually I'll max out and then nothing will work. At the moment I've endured 2 yrs of needing a dose increase, but simply won't bring myself to ask - pride, and the damn fear of tolerance stops me in my track (in case you haven't noticed, I have a macabre sense of humor). These days I'm losing my strength, and I'd just like advice on maximizing what I have, without messing myself up. No intentions of taking it in any way other than how it was prescribed (it's oral, so no method other than that). I just mean like, basic stuff. I know the clinical answers, but not the practical ones. Absolutely NOTHING illegal, just stuff like water intake, time of day, with or without OTC meds, stuff like that. This is 10 yrs we're talking about, and I've only increased doses 4 times, and have done ALL of the non- invasive treatments (physical therapy and such). I've had multiple surgeries, and currently my spinal cord is compressed in 9 places, and this time I'm looking at really major surgery (my last surgery saved me from being a quadraplegic, and the most serious change is in the same area of my neck, so it's trickier this time). If I'm out of line, or this isn't the place for this I'll delete my account and quit bugging (whomever). I don't judge and I am not a prude, the only reason I don't go full tilt nuts to ease my pain is bc of family and self preservation, so what ppl do is fine with me. Trust me, if my minimal stuff ever became 'off the table' I'd no longer have my virgin veins. Logging out for now, and again, no worries if I'm in the wrong place, I'm the queen of overcoming disappointment, or at least in the royal court P.S. I'm much darker than this post implies, but always fond of duality, I'm quite silly too. Well, I used to be, before the father of darkness bulldozed through my spine. Anyway, no sense running you away before you even get to know me - we'll save that for a rainy day

 

[RDP89]

Welcome to Bluelight! I'm assuming the meds are opioids, in that case there are potentiators such as white grapefruit juice,cimetidine, diphenhydramine.etc., but those will only do so much.

Don't worry about belonging here or not. You will find people from all different walks of life here, some in stuations similar to your own. I know you're not looking for sympathy, but I feel for you and hope you find things to make your quality of life better for you and your family. I can't imagine what intense chronic pain must be like.

 

[Sunbane]

TLDR - Welcome. Have experienced with pain although your is way worse. Experienced many thing you mentioned. Have some tips that may help. Best to run these by your MD to be safe.
Flexeril low dose 20 min before Narcotic even if you don't need the muscle relaxer it potentiates the Narcotic
Small amount of caffiene 1/2 cup coffee or (100mg pill at most) with narcotic.
Grapefruit or juice but of white variety at least 20 min prior to Narcotic; beware of drug interaction it effect others meds you might be on (statans heart stuff) check with MD.
Check into Kratom as emergency use ground leaf powder only, red vien type i found good 5 - 8 grams is dose for 245lb male (illegal to consume) ok to own, addictive but i do not believe cross tolerance with Narcotics (check into it tho).
Acupuncture may seem hooky weird but it seem to help find good one preferable a MD who is also acupuncture guy and best if part of hospital system or clinic for safety reasons, lot of quackerys who are not trained right.

Welcome.

Don't be concerned about fitting in from my reading/lurking around here I have seen mostly positive discussions and have been given great advice when i actually post. Key thing i found is just be respectful. Having a medical background should help cause you may be able to apply that knowledge to contribute and help others.

Sucks you have the serious back/neck issue but sounds like you are being proactive to try and keep the Narcotics effective and under control, something many people don't think about so you already ahead of most people in these situations. By the way, not being sympathetic I'm a jerk and have no empathy burned it out by Em-pathogenic class drug abuse and my genetic make up (im a jerk remember). I only brought it up because i may in a small way have something to offer, although you probably heard many of these tips, in any case maybe another member will be helped.

Here is my main reason for replying, sorry to be long winded (OP you might want to skip down some paragraphs for that what i hope might help you maybe....a little this is more general stuff you probably know but it for other readers):

I am 34 and have only minor lower back disc compression which is bad enough and I too take Prescription Narcotics. As you know and said above, these type of issues do not get fixed they will only degenerate even surgery usually, from my reading and MD's advice its rare to fix anything long term even mid term is a challenge, often temporarily fixes somethings, or just sometimes prevents something worse. Surgery is great for the prevention situation but it is a crap shoot many times outside that (need to mention this is my experience, opinion, and advise given by my MD not medical Advise to you by any means and it deals more with lower back i think upper back neck have better outcomes but still not as good as one would expect it can make things worse or no change the orthopedic guys are the one who know based on situational things).

In the end the problem/pain remains so dark thoughts are there even with my minor pain, after my daughter was born it really helped prevent those thoughts or should i say have them be anything more than a thought as you mentioned family helps prevent it from being more than thoughts. So its great you have that piece already. For others who may read take solace in figh5ting the pain for your loved ones so you will feel too selfish to act on dark thoughts and it can give one a sense of pride that you suffer for a good cause, sounds cheesy but whatever it helped me...its kinds of a popular thing i think is it a Marter or something (purposely misspelled it OK)

Anyway,

This lead my MD to have concerns like you are voicing above because of my age about long term effectiveness of the Narcotics. He had some tips that seemed to helped me extend my Narcotic effectiveness and keep me from getting too dependent, now some of them he said are not scientifically sound but more anecdotal from his experience practicing, but hey a placebo effect that reduces pain is fine with me if its harmless otherwise.

SAFETY ALERT:
OP you probably know this but for other who may not and read this. This is my MD's advisement based on my personal health situation (like my meds and other possible conditions) so obviously you want to consult your MD about these to be SAFE not a disclaimer on my part, really do it for your own good. Few examples of why you need to talk to MD to be safe, grapefruit juice or the fruit itself may be an opiate potentiator but it definitely can negate enzymes or block pathway of how drugs are metabolized making them go other not desire pathways (forget which) that can have varying effects on potency (weaken, potentiate, or nullify) for certain prescription meds like heart meds and statins (Lipitor comes to mind as a common one) may be others. So your MD would know your situation best like meds your on what they interact with ect ect ect to prevent those possible issues.

NOTE:
Also, although i hate it is like this, asking directly about potientiating Narcotics is a red flag for abuse and addiction and can get MDs to be wary or stop scripting so it is a judgement call on your end but if you truly are honest about only reduce consumption to preserve effectiveness and have been a long time patient and MD is not an a$$hat you probably are fine bringing it up. If you have a substance abuse marker on your Electronic medical record past or current and MD see it or knows that and you are asking this type of thing you are probably going to raise a red flag. In my case my MD was the one who brought the topic up but some MDs might think your looking for a high if you are direct about it and it could have consequences. They could refuse to continue prescribing or tightening their amounts. Sometimes which isn't bad if you serious about not abusing they refer you to pain management where drug tests are done and prescriptions checked and counted routinely. Like i said hate i even have to warn but i seen it happen to good people and that sucks.

Here are the tips (finally):
My MD told me a few tips to potentiate the Narcotic using synergistic effects between chemicals for pain control with the least amount of Narcotic but in a way he felt was safe. Some of them i see are posted above but my MD had some interesting caveats about some of the above ones so i give you his opinion on those at end of list.

Ill start with ones not mentioned above;
1.) Even though i really don't get relief from it or need a muscle relaxer he has me take 20 min prior to Narcotic a cyclobenzaprine (brand name is Flexeril i believe) just 5mg or 10mg (cant recall its the lowest dose offered) this really seems to work, placebo? who cares. Can make you tired that is why i take lowest dose.

2.) whenever i take a Narcotic he said to take a small amount of caffeine with it 1/2 cup is all (100mg at most) he said it may help but he said research is shaky on that one. I do it i love coffee and helps with CNS depression from Flexeril. He said do not take large amount as mixing CNS depressants with Stims is a little risky in some people if they have conditions, but at the doses given and my physical make up 6ft 225lb to 240lb i would be fine. I think it helps not sure how much definitely not as much as Flexeril so this one is a anecdotal, but i love placebo effect when it reduces pain.

3) He also mentioned Grapefruit and its juice. He said there is scientific research to prove it does something, I think with an enzyme that breaks the metabolite down of the narcotic therefore the metabolite is in system longer thus potentiation doesn't leave system as fast. That is how i understood it not sure exactly if that right. He said problem is drug interaction but not my concern right now but probably in future as i get more meds as my body falls apart. Also he said there is disagreement or maybe ambiguity is better word because of how the study was done. It is not clear the most effective way to ingest not in ROI but which types or forms, how effective the juice or whole fruit and different varieties of grapefruits seem to work better. He said it very convoluted. His opinion and advice was White Grapefruit eaten he said at least 20 min before Narcotic ingestion then next best was juice of the white grapefruit at lest 20-15min prior is next. He said early ingestion would seem better so it can get to where is needs to be to do its thing. I think it works i love Grapefruit too and its healthy i eat the White Grapefruit 1 hour before then sometimes (ah most times) another 30 min later (i said i was 225lb to 245lb). I have done juice and it also seems to work as good but i tried non white juice and it seem to work less, might be in my head. This is the second most effective for me after Flexeril.

4.) Not recommended by Doctor but he was interested in it when i told him. Its called Kratom (plant name is crazy sorry) If i used it I would find it to work great better than all above but has most risks and is it illegal to eat so don't or your violating law. Ground full leave was what was best for my pain of the red vein variety everyone is different, taste is nasty but you are not going to eat it cause illegal. If i theoretically was going to consume it i would put it in 000 caps since I would need like 5 - 8 grams. Avoid extracts they are only to get high in my opinion. I don't use it since it illegal but if i did I would not use this much its addictive and can get a little out of control if you don't watch plus bad taste and smell. If i used it I supplement when Narcotics are not working due to tolerance. I am not sure but i think i would not experience cross tolerance which might be normal its a u-opiod or something that is not an opiate but body treats it like one from what i know. Look it up tons of info but remember its not for consumption and their are shady vendors around. This would be an emergency item. It is own thing doesn't potentiate taken by itself i would not combine but again research it.

5.) Acupuncture - OK so it hippy stuff or what ever right, well it actually pretty cool eastern medicine. My MD is skeptical but said it couldn't hurt and want reports each visit on it. i have been going and its not an over night thing but i think it is slowly helping. Find a good practitioner, I use an MD who is an anesthesiologist by most weekdays but does single day clinics he is of eastern decent and trained in acupuncture and the office like i said is a clinic of a large well known hospital system in my area and he works for them too so i feel safe.

Again sorry for long post but i felt i wanted to try and help cause i experienced much of what you did but to lesser degree. Also maybe someone else might find it useful but most probably will see the text wall and run. If you have tips or find some share them with me. Good luck and Welcome.

 

[StayTrippyMane]

Please please please please please, if you haven't, try medical cannabis. Try it in extracted forms like wax or crumble (its modern super strong hash). You can even eat the meds. I hear they help quite a bit if you eat them. I use quite the combo to keep my head in check. I have fucked up thoughts all the time. I dont act on them, and thats why Im not a crazy person. Im totally batshit insane but not crazy by the clinical definition. Have fun, life life, fuck drug tests (you can ALWAYS find a way to beat those, sub urine, oil change).... Whatever job you do, you can do it high. I hope you find your magical drug that brings you back quality of life. Im sure you can find it if you start exploring. I think you need to have a good trip out of this world and do some reflecting, you might see the world from a different perspective and start really appreciating life again.

 

[StayTrippyMane]

kratom works good too! go look for a kava bar in town. Bring yourself to the kava bar and ask for kratom, they have it. Buy extras and take them home. If you get powdered kratom you can mix it in green gatorade, it tastes like a bit shitty but you will be able to drink it, i promise.


Also try kava, its amazing. It melts your worries away and puts you in a mindset where your mind is clear and you have no thoughts! I usually cannot clear my mind unless Im meditating for long periods of time. I live in a high density populated area.

DXM tripping may make you do some inner reflection, and let you see life with another perspective. Its unorthodox medically speaking but it works. Also in Afghanistan they give people 300-600mg DXM pills for opiate withdrawal instead of methadone. DXM makes me feel great! you might want to try 354mg of it someday. DO A TEST RUN TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING IN THE COUGH SYRUP. DONT WANT TO CHUG A BOTTLE OF TUSS AND FIND OUT YOU ARE GETTING AN ALLERGIC REACTION!!

 

[Sunbane]

Good call, I can vouch for cannabis as helping the pain as well as other negatives.

I quit 6 years ago mainly lungs were shot. Also because testing yeah you can fake most 'the urinator' was key. I kept some if i needed its probably mold at this point.

If its legal in your spot then yeah I second that its good option at least to have around in a bind while you are tapering the Narcotics to lower tolerance. It really did help with pain, also a little bit if i had minor withdrawal during a taper, and also appetite i hated eating when on my prescribed Narcotics

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Welcome to Bluelight!