Not sure how there blog things work..

But I think I am going to use them to help me get my life under control instead of rambling on in TDS.
So Tonight, to do: clean room, shower, brush teeth, etc.
(tomorrow) Monday: figure out how to get to the mall from new place, buy alarm clock and wall planner thing-a-ma-bob plus "to-do" list stationary.
Tuesday: get ready for work, go to work.
And that's enough for now, I should be able to manage with that.
 
Ta.
So it is currently pissing down with rain outside and i am just coming down, and im terrified of going out in the rain to the mall, and getting crap i need, but it is winter and it's going to piss down damn near every day and i cant just stay inside for another 4 months, so im doing it anyway.. It's still early, not even 5am yet, this must look so tragic to anyone reading it like going to the mall is a real problem lol, but i have to start at the basics. I'm thinking, I put on ever warm piece of clothing I own and big sunnies to hide behind, handbag, umbrella.. walk to end of road bus stop, can catch a bus up to mt eden villiage, then will have to walk quite a way across town to st lukes to get to the mall.. Can buy self a black coffee no sugar and maybe some sushi when get there but i don't know. I think there is a k-mart in that mall which should have what i need, and i should be able to in and then get the hell out of there without drawing too much attention to the state I have gotten myself into. Come home, take some tramadol and go night night. Will have alarm clock so can get up in time to get ready for work tues night and then I will make rest of plan when I get there, i know rest of plan but think easier just to focus on today and tomorrow for now. So that's it, I am terrified, but yep..
 
So I am feeling very thin after this binge, I do not want to get any thinner, I don't want to gain weight either, I want to stay the same and just pick up my exercise routine again so that I become little more firm and less squish. but I'm not adding exercise to my lists until after tues night, and after sleep wednesday. I don't know how I should eat. I have optifast programme at home, I suppose I should carry on with that, but it's not enough, so then i want to go to the bakery and get a potato top meat pie, but then that is too much *pulls hair* I will sort this out another day. Today I will just have optifast shake before i go out, and I WILL get some sushi at the mall. Ok, can stop worrying about that now.
 
Yay great success! It took me 4 hours and my hips hurt real bad from walking so far but hey fresh air and exercise has to be doing something good for me too, and I didn't even get rained on. I got to the mall, got alarm clock and to-do note pad, didnt have pie, went with salmon cucumber sushi in the end, had 5 bites, and a diet coke. Perfect day. I knew I could do it. *pats self on back*
 
it was yum!
I am pretty happy, i am making to-do list every day and as long as what needs to get done gets done i am allowing myself to do whatever the fuck i fuck i feel like after, i have never been happieer, the prison has approved my cell number so my baby calls me everyday now, he is being transferred to springhill soon which is a lower security prison with good rehabilitation facilities,its better than maximum security at parry
 
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