Hi interwebs people's. Hope your having a less shitty than average day! I'm a 27 year old man living in a city in Colorado, ya know the one where you see mountains. I moved here from a less mountainy city a couple months ago. I have scoliosis that's been partially corrected with Harrington rods fusing 11 vertebrae. I have varying amounts of constant pain throughout the day. Before I lost my insurance due to age, I received adequate pain management through private practice doctors and maintained a job, attended technical college and started a family. I ended up with two toddlers a year apart alone, their mother had struggles with Addiction and I kept our kids at a distance until I began my own personal masochistic nihilist quest. After I lost my insurance and could get the meds I needed I lost my job due to the discovery of my disability. I started pursuing alternative routes to deal with my pain and found relief only in making myself dead behind the eyes. I had the clarity to admit I couldn't take care of my gorgeous, incredibly intelligent, suspiciously well behaved children, and allowed them to move to another state with their very well off grandmother. I'm essentially severed from communicating or seeing my children, not as a legal requirement but because their grandmother refuses either parent to see them until either are stable. I'm now in this new city intent on change, more than willing and mentally strong enough to enforce and maintain that change. I've gone through the hoops a major provider told me to jump through as far as seeing their pain management and neurologist, physical therapist and psychotherapist to the finale today where I was told opioid pain medication is ineffective and stretching, yoga, and talk therapy were more effective in their opinion for day to day pain. I've responsibly used opiates for this obviously permanent condition for nearly a decade and now I learn today that "I believe if you taper off meds your pain will subside" though I was off of any types of meds for nearly four months after losing insurance, and my pain was a very persistent issue. And with no treatment, I lost control of everything I ever cared about. I don't receive sympathy because I don't look disabled. I have a very deep baritone voice, Jet black wavy hair. I'm an even 6' and weighed today I was 169lbs. I have a six pack and I'm naturally in shape without working out. I'm grateful for all of that but because I look put together anyone that doesn't know me personally would never believe at first appearance I'm half broken. I'm worn thin by relying on doctors to treat me with meds I have a long history with due to corporate policy on controlled medicines. I've jumped through hoops while suffering with nil results. I'm hoping for advice/facts/Insights to managing this burden before I completely self destruct and become a statistic. Thanks for any input!
