frostyangel
Bluelighter
I woke up this morning, shit still encrusted
in my eyes...I only hit the snooze bar three
times today. My mind repeats itself as it
does everyday.....just alittle more sleep.
And that term means nothing once I realize
everyway I'm being pulled today.
I can't stand having to get up when my
body doesn't want to.
What the hell is today? Oh yes it is monday.
Do I know the date? Fuck no! If I did maybe
even then my bills wouldn't get paid on time.
Wow. Did my weekend just pass me by?
Hell yeah!! It did. For I was waiting on people,
who had their day off. And I think to myself this
is the eigth day in a row. Not even having a
day off until saturday.
I open the fridge, same shit as before
only alittle more mold. And pushed into
the back for more fungi to form. I can't
remember the last time I ate, and actually
felt good. I half-ass get dressed this morning.
Not giving a damn that the shower would only
make me feel better. I go down stairs open the
mailbox, that the mailman just stuffed with bills,
that had my name on it....don't remember when
I last paid them...don't even know how much is due.
I place what feels like my 200lb bookbag into the
back seat of my car. Start it up. Driving off realizing
that my brand new car drives like shit......because,
I never have time to fix it. But the sliver bullet keeps
on ticking. Once again, this drive we all take which is
like 20mins to school, only lets me think about what
needs to be done, and what I should be doing.
What time is class? Oh yeah, that's right 10:10am,
I just left my house at ten. At least I thought I would
be early today.
Fighting with my eyes to keep them open, as I do
65mph in a 25mph zone. Where is this time going?
I only know what is like not to be home. And if I have
to think about that damn chapter I haven't read yet,
one more time I swear I could scream.
I could be fucking this all up. Maybe I'm suppose to
be taught a lessen, on how to handle with what I'm dealt
with one more time. And the distance of my day has
only begun, Hopping one class to next. Thinking about
how I can't wait to get out of work tonite. And it's not even
so I can do my homework, or enjoy kicking my shoes off.
Its so I can go to sleep and wake up to tomorrow feeling
better....even though my day will turn out the same.
And the best part that was the worst. Was that my favorite
class I enjoyed so much...just kicked me in the teeth.
Making me lose hope. For any accomplishments, in
this future.
How are we to find ourselves happy with this fabricated
world banging at our door, screaming rejection, making
us weaker, only enough to make us fight harder. Finding
out that this was not the way you hoped it would be.
You asked me, If you were fucking up my life?
And I think to myself, 'Are you fhen crazy?'
My only sanity is in your arms. The only time I can let go.
I look forward to spending time with you. I think about it
even in my dreams. And I wait all day to say and do all
these things....and there you are watching me as I fall
asleep in your bed...
You are what makes me realize there are reasons worth
fighting my bad days for. And no matter how shitty they
always feel, When you come through the door, I drop
every thought, that has boogled my mind.
And the warmth of my smile, lights up my face.
As your fingers curve the lips without a trace.
There is nothing left for me worry. There is nothing left to
stress over.
And I suddenly remember our dates in time....
how my favorite day is tuesday....one of the first days of the
week we hung out......for it was this hallway behind me where
we first kissed on a tuesday nite.
Just be you...
I'll tell you there is no worry.
That's all I ask.
Let everything else fuck up my life.
Be the wings that carry me home.
Be the ground of which my feet my land opun.
Understand that you can be my sanity in this crazy land.
[ 30 September 2002: Message edited by: frostyangel ]
in my eyes...I only hit the snooze bar three
times today. My mind repeats itself as it
does everyday.....just alittle more sleep.
And that term means nothing once I realize
everyway I'm being pulled today.
I can't stand having to get up when my
body doesn't want to.
What the hell is today? Oh yes it is monday.
Do I know the date? Fuck no! If I did maybe
even then my bills wouldn't get paid on time.
Wow. Did my weekend just pass me by?
Hell yeah!! It did. For I was waiting on people,
who had their day off. And I think to myself this
is the eigth day in a row. Not even having a
day off until saturday.
I open the fridge, same shit as before
only alittle more mold. And pushed into
the back for more fungi to form. I can't
remember the last time I ate, and actually
felt good. I half-ass get dressed this morning.
Not giving a damn that the shower would only
make me feel better. I go down stairs open the
mailbox, that the mailman just stuffed with bills,
that had my name on it....don't remember when
I last paid them...don't even know how much is due.
I place what feels like my 200lb bookbag into the
back seat of my car. Start it up. Driving off realizing
that my brand new car drives like shit......because,
I never have time to fix it. But the sliver bullet keeps
on ticking. Once again, this drive we all take which is
like 20mins to school, only lets me think about what
needs to be done, and what I should be doing.
What time is class? Oh yeah, that's right 10:10am,
I just left my house at ten. At least I thought I would
be early today.
Fighting with my eyes to keep them open, as I do
65mph in a 25mph zone. Where is this time going?
I only know what is like not to be home. And if I have
to think about that damn chapter I haven't read yet,
one more time I swear I could scream.
I could be fucking this all up. Maybe I'm suppose to
be taught a lessen, on how to handle with what I'm dealt
with one more time. And the distance of my day has
only begun, Hopping one class to next. Thinking about
how I can't wait to get out of work tonite. And it's not even
so I can do my homework, or enjoy kicking my shoes off.
Its so I can go to sleep and wake up to tomorrow feeling
better....even though my day will turn out the same.
And the best part that was the worst. Was that my favorite
class I enjoyed so much...just kicked me in the teeth.
Making me lose hope. For any accomplishments, in
this future.
How are we to find ourselves happy with this fabricated
world banging at our door, screaming rejection, making
us weaker, only enough to make us fight harder. Finding
out that this was not the way you hoped it would be.
You asked me, If you were fucking up my life?
And I think to myself, 'Are you fhen crazy?'
My only sanity is in your arms. The only time I can let go.
I look forward to spending time with you. I think about it
even in my dreams. And I wait all day to say and do all
these things....and there you are watching me as I fall
asleep in your bed...
You are what makes me realize there are reasons worth
fighting my bad days for. And no matter how shitty they
always feel, When you come through the door, I drop
every thought, that has boogled my mind.
And the warmth of my smile, lights up my face.
As your fingers curve the lips without a trace.
There is nothing left for me worry. There is nothing left to
stress over.
And I suddenly remember our dates in time....
how my favorite day is tuesday....one of the first days of the
week we hung out......for it was this hallway behind me where
we first kissed on a tuesday nite.
Just be you...
I'll tell you there is no worry.
That's all I ask.
Let everything else fuck up my life.
Be the wings that carry me home.
Be the ground of which my feet my land opun.
Understand that you can be my sanity in this crazy land.
[ 30 September 2002: Message edited by: frostyangel ]
and you captured it beautifully! thank you for this 