Not always happy pills

[Lastair]

Here is something my partner wanted to post. Obviously
everyone here is an enthusiast for ecstasy, but did anyone
hear of, know of or even have an experience like this?
Alastair
Kate speaking now:
"I've had several experiences with e, only one of which I
could really say has been any good. I wanted to be able to
appreciate e, partially because so many people enjoy it
there must be something good about it, and partially because
my partner is very into it and I wanted to have a shared
experience with him. The last time I tried it was about 10
days ago, and that was probably the last time I will attempt
it. About half an hour after taking it, I started to feel
nauseous. This sensation increased until eventually I was
sick. Following that, I was engulfed by a wave of what I can
only describe as pure grief, at one point I was actually in
tears. Once that phase subsided, I found that I could find
things to do that I enjoyed but it all depended on me
basically sitting still, as soon as I tried to move around
the dizziness and nausea would return, and although I was
contented enough I felt quite subdued and serious. This
experience was fairly typical of other times I have tried e,
I've never really had any truly 'euphoric' feelings or the
energy rushes that others seem to get.
The day after my last e experience, my partner and I both
tried cocaine for the first time. We only had a very small
amount which we split equally between us, he felt very
little effect from it, he described it as a 'taster' for
what a full-on cocaine experience might be like. I had quite
a different reaction, I felt a very strong rush, followed by
a burst of energy and a definite mood change ( for the
better ) which took about 2 hours to fully wear off. His
observation was that I seemed to get from that tiny amount
of coke, what he gets from e.
My question is ... why do I get aberrant, or at least
non-typical, effects ?"

 

[p-E-achy]

hmmmm.... sound strange to me...
maybe your allergic to e? I've got a friend who is allergic to MDMA and experienced similar effects only he had to go to hospital and stuff

As for the coke, I feel the same way as Lastair. I've never felt the effects on it very strongly at all. Infact, it gave me mouth ulcers and hurt my nose

I think the stuff is overpriced and not worth bothering with.
It is a shame about the e though cause it is usually fucking excellant

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HAPPY HARDCORE WILL LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<~p-E-achy~> -=+PLUR+=-

 

[AsIa24]

WOW! someone just like me- sheesh I thought I was the only one with these damn problems. I'Ve dropped about 7 times in my life and out of that I have gotten sick or have something weird happen to me hm... about 4times- with one time being REALLY bad... yup yup. BUt now I have learned pretty much to control them.. .first of all- how much do you weigh?? or how tall are you?? Cause I am pretty small- and when I used to take a whole pill- I used ot get FUCKED UP!! REALLY dizzy and ... can't really move- almost tired... then I got really sick off of one- and I guess I kinda got scared and didn't do it for a while- and the next couple of times I dropped- I had that sensation- like I was sad or afraid - probably afraid something bad is gonna happen- which is probably what you are doing - but you learn how to control it- keep telling yourself to be happy- or have a friend help you out. Oh ya- I only take 1/2 a pill these days and that seems to work better for me- but I still sit down A LOT. I guess that's just the way I am- it's fun... so you shouldn't worry too much about that.. so try taking 1/2 next time-cause it seems like it's just too strong for you.
PLUR
hope this helps

 

[Butterfly]

E sometimes makes me really sad too. I find that there's a lot of pressure to be happy and dancy because that's what e is supposed to do, but there's so much more to the experience than that. I find that trying to force yourself to feel a way that you're not will make things much worse. If you have a feeling, just go with it and eventually you'll get out. I can always find the happy now, but sometimes it takes a little time. I have to give into the sad first. Sometimes I have to talk about it, othertimes I have to think about it. Then suddenly for no reason, I'll be out and I'll want to get up and dance.
While I'd rather be happy than sad, I find all my experiences on e to have been good ones. I've never felt the depth of sadness in real life that I get on e, nor the depth of happiness. The intensity of emotion is amazing. I find with drugs, they force you to confront a lot of things that are buried in your mind that you can ignore in every day life. You have to deal with the things that preoccupy you before you can just be purely happy. If you are really in touch with what ever's going on in your mind than you will probably have mostly positive experiences on e, but if you're the kind of person that buries things (like i used to), then you'll probably have to confront those things first. All of my first few experiences with e were very wavy, intense sadness one minute and intense happiness the next.
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"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs."
-- Lily Tomlin

 

[feathers]

Just recently after i popped half a pill I spent the first part of the night alone with tears running down my face although I couldnt explain to anyone why i was so intensely sad as there was no reason- and i wasn't depressed or sad before i had popped it, i was happy.
E can make you really happy for no reason but it can also make you really sad for no reason.
I also think that I pick up on people's emotions around me to easily on e. If people are originally in a depressed or stressed out state I think i pick up on their stress and depression and this is what affects me. The only thing is that they end up having a great time on the pills while i end up feeling shitty, although i do manage to pull myself out of eventually and end up having a good time.
The only solution i guess is not to e around people who are too intense, stressed out, or depressed.
[This message has been edited by feathers (edited 18 January 2000).]

 

[PaRaDoX]

I think it's important to remind everyone at this point that mood has a great deal to do with your roll... if you are in a bad mood to begin with, the roll isn't so great.
I have, in fact spent a great deal of time, one night bawling my eyes out... becasue that is what I had inside of me... it needed to get out.
However, I have a friend... She gets bery ill from doing even a little e... she still does it, on occasion... I don't know why.
She gets the same effects from coke as your lady-friend does as well... from a very small amount. However... she got VERY addicted to the shit... and we found her one night on the floor, unconcious... She recovered... thank god... but for some reason that didn't stop me doing that shit...
I just recently, (a little more than 2 months ago) gave up that shit forever. if you want my recomendation... I don't care HOW it makes you feel. do NOT do it... it's too dangerous. I never became "addicted" to it... It made me very sick... in the rest of my life. I lost alot of weight. (i was already a skinny boy) I never ate, I was sick all the time, I didn't have much energy, I could never sleep... and all of these things seem to have gotten better, since I got rid of the coke....
I think you would be wiser to party sober...
in my opinion... Coke is NEVER worth it.
but you are your own person. Make your own educated decision.
------------------
"we spend all day, sober...
just hiding from daylight.
Watching TV.
we just look alot better in the bluelight,
I know I gotta get out, but I'm stuck..."
-hangin' around, Counting Crows

 

[vertigo]

sorry to hear about the bad experience!
I had several really nice e-experiences, then a bad DXM one, then a weird e-experience that forced me to rethink taking pills for a while. my mood had something to do w/ it, I'm sure, but I had some nasty physical side effects that freaked me out.
I miss rolling. I miss thinking about the next time I'm going to get all loved up and spiritual on it. but what happened to me this last time is not something I ever want to repeat, so unfortunately, that's it for me for a good long time. maybe forever. yeah, it scared me that much...
my thoughts: different people have different reactions to drugs. do what feels good and doesn't make you sick. why put yourself through hell trying to have fun? I'm still partying and having a really good time, but I'm not doing e these days.
good luck,
vertigo

 

[X-Trance]

I agree with Butterfly about the pressure.
I rolled on Xmas Eve, Xmas, NY's eve and NY itself. It was a decent good roll on Xmas but on NY's eve, I was having such a wild time doing the countdown that I thought it's going to be GREAT. I popped the pills, and well, I felt greatly pressurised to dance, to love, to have a good time, to feel sensual. When daylight came, I realised I was very tense and anxious. I had these feelings well under control, but I felt lousy that it was not great!!! Man! It's the eve of the Millennium!
Anyway, I decided not to roll on NY, I calmed myself down, went to the club, and HAD NO EXPECTATIONS at all! The music was good, I felt very much at peace with muself and the environs, so I popped the pills, it took off from there, with NO EXPECTATIONS, the roll turned out to be GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!! Very memorable!
Maybe, we read too much, hear too much about the good things about E. We pressurised ourselves to love it, feel anxious when we don't get the highs that we expected. In this case, it will bring us back down, feel tense, feel lousy and all...