Not a heavy drug user at all, but I think I may be in trouble unless....

[ScaredFirstTimer]

Yeah, I am much better. The bruxism has never been a problem, but it is something I've been aware of since day one. It's probably as little bruxism as one can have. I notice clenching or grinding very mildly here and there, some days nothing at all, nothing I can't live with.

Everything else I've mentioned has improved greatly, the reason I listed them in that fashion was to stress the fact that many of the symptoms isn't so easy to explain by underlying anxiety alone. My symptoms are fluctuating, and during bad days/weeks I still experience most all of them, but not comparable at all to the intensity in the beginning. When I say that I am very close to normal and that I have had an immense improvement, that is all true. But at the same time I some times experience the lingering effects of most (not all) of the original symptoms. I can't list everything everytime I post, as I'm sure you are experiencing, there are myriads of symptoms that seems like side-effects to other symptoms etc. If I were to gauge my recovery in percentages relative to some symptoms I would say that the anxiety is 95% gone, depression 98% gone, sleep at about 80% (major improvement). Other than this I experience a myriad of fluctuating cognitive problems. The reason I do not always mention these specifically is that they are fluctuating, and I might not experience some of them for a week and thus forget about them entirely.

I went to the doc during the second week. She had never heard of MDMA (live in northern europe), and basically treated me very poorly tbh. Won't be going back there.

 

[Allein]

There is no conclusive evidence that MDMA causes brain damage permanent or otherwise, of this doesn't mean it doesn't. It is often referred to as neurotoxic but then so are a huge number of substances present in our day to day environment, alcohol is said to be neurotoxic but I don't believe anyone has suffered permanent damage from a couple of glasses of red wine.

Given the above there is no way of telling exactly what is causing the symptoms you are suffering or when they will subside completely. Working through these things is a vital part of the healing process, modern medicine attempts to distill mental health issues down to physical states of brain chemicals and treat them accordingly with drugs such as SSRIs, this is clearly only part of the picture.

I would agree with some of the other posts here, IMHO antidepressants can be useful in times of crisis but they don't provide a 'cure'. They may allow you to re-group and begin to deal with the psychological issues that you have developed or at least give you time to seek talking therapies or other treatments to help you deal with those issues. This has been very much the case for me.


I don't believe you will come out of the other side of this the same person you were, I believe you will come out of the other side of this a better stronger more grounded version of the person you were before

Allein, thanks for the reply to my PM. I've been a bit out of it cognitively for the last few days, I'll answer you when I'm fit enough to write a decent response

Hey no worries it was a bit tl;dr :D

 

[_DankOpiAmp_]

It is remarkable how none of this occurred in people using MDMA before it was made illegal and the government started pouring millions into a quasi-scientific smear champaign. Everyone in this never ending stream of "long term MDMA comedown" threads has neglected to test their pills, are well versed in propaganda and over-analyze obvious symptoms of anxiety caused by propaganda. All this pseudo intellectual speculating about neurotransmitters is ridiculous. The studies on MDMA that were done have primarily used monolithic overdoses or were completely fake. As you can expect, the few that were decent were limited in scope and inconclusive.

No drug with a decent history of safe use can cause this fantastical, non-falsifiable, ethereal "damage" to you after just a few uses. You can literally take actual poisons in small amounts a few times, like arsenic, and survive. You get sick and have symptoms of poisoning but you live. If MDMA was actually as toxic as people fear there would be no debate or need for dubious studies.

 

[Allein]

^ I think I understand your point and largely agree however small numbets of people do have a wide range of extreme reactions to various compounds.

Its true that millions have used MDMA and if reactions like the ones the OP describes were remotly common there would be an epidemic.

I find it quite plausable that a few unfortunate people could have these type of reactions, its also possible that, in some cases they may not have taken MDMA. Maybe some of these cases are related to MDEA for example, distribution and research into such drugs is even less reliable than MDMA.

Who knows ? The important thing is getting well and dealing with whatever fallout this experince has left. Which is what the OP has stated, there are no firm answers to be found one way or the other IMO but its clear MDMA has played a role.

Mod edit - OK people this isn't the place to have a heated discussion, the purpose of this area of the site is to provide support, there are other areas of the site to have such debates. thank you for your considered cooperation