skarazira
Bluelighter
My childhood memories fade in and out, like a 1930's silent movie
they flicker, I see pieces of memories... you choking my mother over the sink
you calling me a worthless piece of shit, you never being there.....
why would you be? I have sufficed most my life without you.
I wanted you to ignore me... I wanted you to not be around
you werent around.... at least not enough for me to know if
I love you or not...
But then I see images of you
flash through my head
you never fucking cared about me
I dont know If I wanted you to.
You pay the bills
You go to work
you are there physically
but you were a horrible fucking
father.
I used to find it amusing when
you came home drunk when I was little
ha.
I used to play tricks on you
and get money from you.
Now It disgusts me
as we threw away
the urine soaked couch
when you passed out
from drinking too much
the times I had to come get you
when mom was asleep,
I had to tell you where your keys were at.
I wanted to leave you there in that parking lot
let you see your wrong doings
but I couldnt.
You never told me I was a good daughter
you never patted me on the back
you never said "good job"
"or how was your day?"
when we did talk
it was telling me I was a fuck up
I was worthless
I dont do anything
or you screamed at me
for breaking something
you are a cold bastard.
you would come home from work
and lay on the couch, turn up the volume
and tune everyone out.
when is the last time you hugged me?
or told me you cared?
I just want you to dissapear
I hate you.
I love you.
Fuck you.
you are the one who is
WORTHLESS.
sara
they flicker, I see pieces of memories... you choking my mother over the sink
you calling me a worthless piece of shit, you never being there.....
why would you be? I have sufficed most my life without you.
I wanted you to ignore me... I wanted you to not be around
you werent around.... at least not enough for me to know if
I love you or not...
But then I see images of you
flash through my head
you never fucking cared about me
I dont know If I wanted you to.
You pay the bills
You go to work
you are there physically
but you were a horrible fucking
father.
I used to find it amusing when
you came home drunk when I was little
ha.
I used to play tricks on you
and get money from you.
Now It disgusts me
as we threw away
the urine soaked couch
when you passed out
from drinking too much
the times I had to come get you
when mom was asleep,
I had to tell you where your keys were at.
I wanted to leave you there in that parking lot
let you see your wrong doings
but I couldnt.
You never told me I was a good daughter
you never patted me on the back
you never said "good job"
"or how was your day?"
when we did talk
it was telling me I was a fuck up
I was worthless
I dont do anything
or you screamed at me
for breaking something
you are a cold bastard.
you would come home from work
and lay on the couch, turn up the volume
and tune everyone out.
when is the last time you hugged me?
or told me you cared?
I just want you to dissapear
I hate you.
I love you.
Fuck you.
you are the one who is
WORTHLESS.
sara
