St. John's is definitely not for anxiety.
What hobbies do you have? Want some ideas? That new Netflix show about mushrooms mostly by Paul Stamets is beautiful and there's a bunch of different angles in there for fun, profit, and health, and most have nothing to do with psilocybin.
Sometimes it takes real suffering and a certain kind of madness to contribute to real genius, no matter what field. You are part of many communities, here, the human race, and even larger earthly communities (watch the show).
I realize it's probably the last thing you want to hear right now about but amateur science is where 98% of the world's knowledge comes from.
Great artists and authors didn't all attend schools and some of the best didn't even BEGIN working in their fields until they were over 50 years old.
Heck, my favorite bladesmith (who gets a thousand bucks easily for every knife) didn't start working with metal until he was close to 60.
You can't measure the value of life by yesterday, or even your accomplishments.
What you can do is find value in your existence and recognize that you are part of an unfathomable number of communities where you are no more or less valuable than any other member.
II mentioned that mushroom documentary because it's something you can watch and find beauty in, and at the same time realize that regardless of where you live you can find a new species that could benefit our world. At the very least, it might help you understand that you are part of something wonderful and that you are capable of finding satisfaction.
I hope that you will find something that brings you joy, and if you want any help getting started in a new hobby, I will personally help you in any way I can.