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neverwas

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 23, 2002
Messages
6,705
Location
The yellow brick road!
why do i sit here and listen
when all i hear hurts?

why do i sit here and bother
tryin to find the happiness for which i yearn?

it gets stolen away from me
each day at a time.

from the moment i start to smile
to the time i sit here and cry.

every person i get close to
every flower that i pick.

wilts and withers before me
or dies gradually at my feet.

through weeping eyes
i search for you.

the happiness i felt
now once again slashed into a thousand peices.

it isnt your fault
you dont need to apologise.

the state i am in now
will soon bring demise.

theres only so much i can take
before i self explode.

do i roll over and die
or do i pick up and move on?

my soul even hurts
my heart cant go on.

do people get joy in this
causing me pain?

it saddens my heart
and i cry like its pouring with rain.

...after having a very rough emotional late night this is what came out...
 
"it isnt your fault
you dont need to apologise".

I love those lines. The girl that broke my heart recently always apologizes. Sure she has done some mean and cruel things but you cant apologize for not feeling a certain way for someone. I know the feeling of loving someone and them not loving you back. I have to admitt its the worse feeling in the world. Especially if at one time or another you where together and had a mutural love.

"do people get joy in this
causing me pain?"

I too thought for a long time that she enjoyed bringing me pain. I really do believe she doesn't but at a certain level i dont think she minds. You and I are in the same boat as you have said before and it will get better. Put all the sad energy you have built up and put it tawords something positive or somethiing you want to achieve. I decided instead of me being sad and crying over someone who is over me and doesnt like me anymore I should put all those feeling into my music (I DJ) so when ever I get sad I go and DJ and it makes me better at it and makes my mind more clear. You will get over it and in the end relise it isnt that bad and probably happened for a reason. I decided no point liking someone who doesnt like you back, you deserve better as do I. So keep your chin up and soon you will be looking back at all of it and wonder why it made you sad so long. you will find someone better when you least expect it. If you need to ever talk hit me up on AOL

Shamrok976 is my screename

Good luck and *Hugs*
 
These things happen, no matter in some form or another, the vicious part and parcel of life. sometimes one need to question - is this happening to me as part of a retribution - there is this little part in life where it's all cause and effect; or just a test of time and strength??

Whatever it is, when all these happen, mourn or grieve - then move on instead of dwelling on it constantly. Because if you do - you'll never get out of the rut - it doesn't win anyone much sympathy either because this becomes a tiring act. These are tests that should make a person stronger, not weaker.

good luck and hope it improves. just treat it like another part of life's little tests.
 
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