no motivation... unless i'm high?

Fornax55

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 17, 2010
Messages
465
okay, so, i've never really been the world's most motivated person. i've always enjoyed writing , and playing video games. for the mostpart, the majority of my stories were written for school. i used to write really deep twisted allegorical poems, too, but i've sort of slipped out of that.

the thing is, since i graduated, i haven't been motivated much to do anything. i'll go to work in the morning, come home, and sleep. this is pretty much my whole life, unless i'm high.

when i'm high, i start doing the things that i like to do. this seems like it could be a potential problem, because i never do the things i like to do, unless i'm high. otherwise i'll just peruse FB/BL until my eyes bleed.

wtf is up with this? i need some kind of motivation booster, but i doubt my doctor would be inclined to provide me with any such thing.
 
i have a similar sort of problem...when im on stims or something like that i get boost of motivation but other than that, i feel sluggish and lacking motivation..from all ive read it seems motivation is impossible to teach someone, you have to find it deep inside yourself..not what u want to hear but i believe it :(
 
The things that you like to do high, have you ever enjoyed doing them sober? I know for me some things that I thought I liked to do, I didn't really, it was only when I was high. Maybe there are new activities you can pursue that will motivate you even if you aren't on any drugs....

Anyways, what kind of drugs are you talking about, and how often do you use them? Certainly using something very often can have an effect on motivation levels.
 
What are you getting high on? I ask b/c I used marijuana to get me through undergrad and grad school with no real untoward effects. True- that's hardly ideal- but fuck I got through some tough shit and have an advanced degree to show for my time. I really think smoking pot helped focus me so much and got me through it.

There is a downside to all that, though. I really relied on pot to help me focus. But somewhere along the line I started getting panic attacks when I smoked- like out of nowhere so I had to stop. Now I find it really difficult to get down to work and finish projects because I relied so heavily on pot and didn't develop alternate strategies to help me get my work done.


Also, if you're using opiates- that is indeed a problem. Nothing has slowed me down like opiates....
 
All I really did before I did drugs was play video games. Drugs basically got me into socializing, partying, and having fun in general. That being said, without drugs, I revert to my original and somewhat anti-social self.

I used to smoke tons of pot, but it took me a couple years to realize that I never really enjoyed the experience. I took to taking ecstasy for a while, maybe a year, and then when I moved I was introduced to harder shit like heroin, crack and jib.

That being said I don't really go overboard. I'll use each maybe a few times every couple weeks, keeping the days spaced apart to keep up some sense of moderation. The worst I'll do is take like two points of ice and use it to stay up for 2 days, but that in itself isn't really a lot of meth at all. Minuscule amounts, even.
 
I'm having the same problem. Ever since I quit meth I've had extremely low motivation - I struggle to do the most simple things like getting out of bed, having a shower, or going out to appointments. I've been having to self medicate with dex-amphetamine, especially on the days that I need to get stuff done. It sucks.
 
how long ago did you quit? have you noticed any increase in your motivation since then?
 
^ I quit using it regularly (1-2 grams, smoked and injected, virtually every day for 3 years) about two months ago, although I have had the odd slip-up since then. The first couple of weeks off meth were definitely the hardest. I had horrible depression, anxiety, and fatigue. Now the worst of the withdrawals have passed, but I'm still struggling with motivation and energy. Haven't noticed any real increase yet, hence why I've been self-medicating with dexies. My doc said it can take a heavy meth user 6 months to a year before any improvement is noticed, so it'll probably be a long road to recovery. :\
 
I need to go back to good ol' sober sex with my gf asap!

yeah that's pretty much my #1 right now.

@sweetP, that's good that you've managed to stay off with only a few slipups. i hardly use at all, maybe 2 or 3 times every couple of weeks, but i'm not entirely sure that the lack of motivation is based upon methamphetamine use.
 
yeah that's pretty much my #1 right now.

@sweetP, that's good that you've managed to stay off with only a few slipups. i hardly use at all, maybe 2 or 3 times every couple of weeks, but i'm not entirely sure that the lack of motivation is based upon methamphetamine use.

What is your sleep schedule like? If you are missing a night or two of sleep every time you use meth, that adds up quick and disturbed sleep cycles can affect every other aspect of physical and mental health, even if your usage is not extreme.
 
You seem to be in a similar situation as I am in, except I take a prescription everyday.

Its a mental thing that you can't do what you want to do unless you're high, its the same with me. I know I 'can do it' but I don't unless I have my DoC to push me to do it. I feel like a little kid who has a parent to guide him through life, except the parent's grasp burns my brain and kicks me when I'm asleep.

I have no idea what can help you, except chemically you aren't getting the required dopamine and serotonin you need to do things. You can do the natural thing and fill it with stuff you love, but about the stuff you hate, I have no idea how to work through those situations.
 
i know what you mean about the mental thing. it's hard when you start doing things on drugs because eventually you believe the only way you can do them is on drugs.
 
What the OP said about perusing FB/BL to his eyes bleed when unhigh is dead on for me, especially BL, like I'm gonna find a dropped twenty sack laying in the next forum or something Ha Ha. Also, when high I find myself planning all sorts of activities for my sober self I'm sure I'll do, only maybe a quarter of which ever gets done, and half heartedly at that. I've noticed it has gotten worse since I've been on Subutex cause I got dependent on that energy boost that kicks in with the Subs, but now that boost barely even gets me off the couch for five minutes and then I'm back to mindless, compulsive leasure. I think the compulsive computer use comes from an unconcious attempt to obtain the same level of stimulation the drugs provide us. There is probably a small hit of dopamine in the brain with each new forum that interests me, magnitudes smaller than what is obtained from drugs, but just enough to cause me to compulsively surf FB/BL or youtube in absence of any other stimulus, and despite a growing backlog of procrastination. So yeah, I agree with the OP.
 
I get the same thing when im off opiates. Im feeling fatigued, in pain, sleepy and just generally like shit so why bother doing much? It does get better over time though. But then again ive never been addicted to amphetamines so i don't know how long the PAWS from those last.
 
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