We DO need carbohydrates, we DO NOT need synthesized sugars. Please make the difference. I would not recommend that anyone cut out carbs completely from their diet for longer than a few days personally. I would also not pursue such a radical diet without first consulting with experts in the field.
I do agree the food pyramid perhaps overdoes it, but the fact of the matter is you NEED, depending on the person, a certain amount of carbs. It is true some need less than others, but ALL HUMANS need carbs to live.
Do you know what ketoacidosis is? It is a ketogenic state that your body goes into during hunger periods in order to cover the depleted carb reserves in your body. Naturally your body's largest stores of energy come from fat, so in the case of not eating carbs you burn through your carb reserves quite quickly (I think about 48-72hrs if fasting, longer in this case because you have some kcal coming in). The keton bodies are not only acidic, but also have their own little negative side effects. You also start losing lots of water weight at the beginning because the kidneys try to adjust and compensate for the metabolic acidosis.
Moreover, ask yourself why do humans have multiple specific carbohydrate receptors in our duodenum, why do we have insulin, why do we have glucagon, how does this system actually work? Does a healthy person's blood sugar actually raise that much after ingesting carbs? Why do we do glycogenesis to have energy stores of a substance called glycogen, how does it function, and what is its purpose. Why does glycogenolyse and then gluconeogensis occur. Which organs absolutely, 100% NEED glucose in order to function. Why during resorption in the proximal tubulus system of the kidneys do we resorb nearly 100% of the glucose that gets past the glomerular filtration (except when it raises above 10mmol/L..but that is another topic).
This is stuff I am listing just off the top of my head, and when any of these systems gets out of balance it then taxes other systems which are striving to get back to the physiological balance. This isn't meant to be condescending, and hopefully can serve as a platform for you to learn more about carbohydrate metabolism.
Maybe your experiences are positive, but you yourself in your first post, "I'm sure you've heard the idea before, but I'm like, totally serious this time. ", indicates to me that you have been eating more carbs in the past 2 years than you let on. I feel like encouraging such an extreme diet without being an expert, or having a deeper understanding of the human body is irresponsible and dangerous.