No more opiates- feel like I lost a close friend...anyone feel this way? =(

[Subdivisions]

So I have been doing much better with opiates- have kicked the habit for the most part, a few slip ups here and there but nothing major.

The biggest thing I have taken away so far is how important it is to WANT to get clean. And frankly, there are times where I really WANT to use and don't desire being clean as much as I do other days, but that is changing for the better.

However...lately I have felt like I have lost a close friend. I know the opiates are bad for me, but when I think of them I feel a sinister emotional attachment to them. Kind of like you feel when you are parting ways with a girl you really like, etc etc. I feel like I am saying goodbye to a friend and all the emotions that come with it, I am feeling.

This usually appears when I am bored and not engaged (BAD!!! for a recovering user, I have learned).

Anyone else feel that way? After I get out of the funk I laught about it...but for a few moments its real!

 

[stygian]

Ive been having some thoughts like this too. I used to enjoy opiates from time to time but I've been thinking more and more that 'time to time' was a LOT more than I remembered, mostly cause I was on them all the time. Several times a week my friend used to get a handful of lortabs. And while I remember it like I said I've started thinking I was high on them a lot more than I think (if that makes sense)? Opiates really aren't your friend. They do make things fun, I'll give you that (go ahead, take it, you really can have fun on them.) But maybe you should ask yourself if you really feel like you've lost a friend or if you need a friend.

 

[Subdivisions]

thanks for the insight Stygian. Funny how I only think of the good parts and totally ignore the bad parts...and yes alot of times we make it look better than it really was. I need to work on reframing.

 

[Detrevni]

Yea I feel ya buddy. I'm pretty much in the same boat. I've been clean for a week until i slipped up today on some oxycodone. I need to stay clean for a couple more weeks until i officially get this awesome job. It's pretty much in the bag,... once I get my drug test back. Wish me luck guys. I drank PLENTY of water with about 7-9 days clean with only 3 hits of shwag 8 days ago. Hopefully it was all past detection. The only thing i got goin for me is i have a very fast metabolism and the water.f

 

[Subdivisions]

Congrats on going clean for a week Detrev. Even if you did slip up...that first week is a monster to get through!

Like they say, staying off is a skill...you fall off your bike the first few times you ride ya know?

I am doing SMART recovery right now...it's worked wonders for me. It's very logical, it goes STRAIGHT TO THE PROBLEM (the habit that gets wired into you) and it's geared for people who really want to grab their lives by the horns (its not for everyone though).

Give it a shot if you think it might help you stay clean. I am trying to string together 30 days straight...ehhhhh

 

[Kanga]

Felt like you lost a close friend? I know what you mean.
When I was using I refused to get into a relationship because I felt like I'd be cheating on my drug habit.