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No longer.

Angelight

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 2, 1999
Messages
3,006
Location
Long Island, NY, USA
I couldn't bare to see your face. You smell of something foul. I wanted to choke on it when you walked in the room.
I couldn't stand your ugly attitide. You walk around so high and mighty, thinking you can still bring me down, thinking you can still walk all over me.
I couldn't take your niceness thats so fake. You pretend like i'm beautiful to you, pretend like you want to be there for me, in reality its just another chance for you to step on me like i'm the ground you walk on.
I will not let you charge back into my life after all this time apart, you acting like you want to be my friend. I will not let you mosy on into my heart like you have in mind. I don't know where you get off thinking in those terms. I'm no longer your puppet, i'm no longer your toy, i'm no longer your bitch. I'm my own person now, i share and value myself, i am valued by someone who loves me for me.
Your sweetness can fill any room, all the walls on the places who don't really know who you are. You put on some show, really its quite the act. Amazing how everyone falls for it, amazing how I FELL for it.
So what this says is that you lie and i am not going to let you lie to me again, or anymore for that matter. I am not going to believe that you want to help, i'm not going to believe that you want to be my friend, i'm not going to believe that you MIGHT deserve a chance to be in my life as someone i can trust. I'm not going to have your pity or your sorrow even though i can see it in your eyes that you project it. I am not going to let you pretend that you miss me and love me and want to hold my hand through some hard times. No way.
Your time in my life is over, its long gone. I'm stronger without you and it puts a smile on my face becausse you never thought i could be this strong without you. You thought you would never see the day where i could truly love someone else, and mean it with every part of my soul. I can. I can do all of these things, and i will and i have. So this is for you, laugh at me, cry at me, love at me, i no longer want to breathe you in at all.
[ 05 December 2001: Message edited by: Angelight ]
 
*breaks out a Kleenex*
YOU GO GIRL!
this person obviously hurt you very badly... i dont think i need to tell you i've been there and done that. i respect that you have sooo much pride and dignity, sweetie. you did/said something that i have been trying to do for a very long time.
people leave footprints in our hearts... and those people go away, but the memories never ever do. its so often that we finally get the people that hurt us to move on with their pathetic lives and stop tearing us apart, and as soon as we *think* we've healed, they step back into our lives to open fresh wounds. and me, i'm so good at taking them back... b/c i live for the memory. i fall so hard for a person, and even when they've proved to be a completely different person, i still look at them and see the one i fell for... and i think a lot of us do that.
mad props to you sweetie for doing the right thing. i read this somewhere today and i cant remember where, but it really planted itself in my brain, and i dont think it needs any explanation...
"if a person hurts you once, it is their fault.
if a person hurts you twice, it is your fault."
you are so strong. thanks for spilling a little bit of that strength into my head tonight, i could really use it.
he doesnt deserve you. you have dave, who loves you with all his heart. this person, this JERK, pales in comparison to him, remember that.
 
Angel,
You have no idea how important your words here are to me right now....but then again maybe you do. No one ever said that we wouldn't get hurt in life, but in the hurts and disappointments, some of us actually learn to be stronger in the end. Sounds like you have already mastered this lesson. I am proud of you.
Love,
Caress
 
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