I found the world's biggest asshole instead, apparantly. And I got my heart broken. AGAIN.
This always happens. I always get bailed on, WITHOUT FAIL. Welcome to the world of sober relationships, eh? That was a really nice introduction... one that lasted all of what, a month?
One thing I have learned though is that I have NO FUCKING CLUE what it means to be in love. Whatever that was though, it felt great... while it lasted. But I couldn't have been in real love with him. He didn't even give me the courtesy of breaking up with me. He just bailed and left me to pick up the pieces.
So if that was fake love, I can only imagine what the real deal feels like. I look forward to it. The only problem is that I'm not sure anymore if I'll be able to recognize it when I find it. I think I've been burned too many times that I'll be too scared to risk letting it in.
I was NOTHING but the best girlfriend I could possibly be to him. I don't understand what happened. It couldn't have been that I was moving too fast, because I was more than happy to speed it up OR slow it down... I was following HIS pace! HE said, "I love you" first, HE came up with the idea of us moving out together in two months, HE declared first that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and get married and have kids. It isn't because I cheated or lied or did anything else that is inexcusable. It certainly isn't because I didn't try. It isn't because I picked petty fights, or got jealous, or didn't let him do certain things, or was abusive. I didn't do ANYTHING but treat him the way he treated me up until today - like freaking royalty! So what happened? Why was I being treated like a princess one day, and the next I'm a fucking leper who he can't even deign to speak to long enough to tell me that it's over?
I'm being strong in person and on Facebook and to him and to my friends and everywhere else except here. I'm acting like it isn't bothering me much but the truth is it's agonizing and I feel literally sick. Excuse the melodrama, but I'm dying inside over here. I mean what the hell did I do to deserve this you guys? AGAIN?! Different person, more intense feelings, but the SAME situation. I get my heart broken over. And over. And OVER. I'm SO sick of it.
And don't I at least deserve an explanation? Or even just an, "I'm sorry"?! What about even just ONE word, like, "okay" or something, in response to what I said to him? It's not like I was rude about it! I'd rather him insult me and call me every name in the book than the absolute silence. It's just cruel, what he's done/is doing. Fuuuck dude... I just want to understand...
This always happens. I always get bailed on, WITHOUT FAIL. Welcome to the world of sober relationships, eh? That was a really nice introduction... one that lasted all of what, a month?
One thing I have learned though is that I have NO FUCKING CLUE what it means to be in love. Whatever that was though, it felt great... while it lasted. But I couldn't have been in real love with him. He didn't even give me the courtesy of breaking up with me. He just bailed and left me to pick up the pieces.
So if that was fake love, I can only imagine what the real deal feels like. I look forward to it. The only problem is that I'm not sure anymore if I'll be able to recognize it when I find it. I think I've been burned too many times that I'll be too scared to risk letting it in.
I was NOTHING but the best girlfriend I could possibly be to him. I don't understand what happened. It couldn't have been that I was moving too fast, because I was more than happy to speed it up OR slow it down... I was following HIS pace! HE said, "I love you" first, HE came up with the idea of us moving out together in two months, HE declared first that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and get married and have kids. It isn't because I cheated or lied or did anything else that is inexcusable. It certainly isn't because I didn't try. It isn't because I picked petty fights, or got jealous, or didn't let him do certain things, or was abusive. I didn't do ANYTHING but treat him the way he treated me up until today - like freaking royalty! So what happened? Why was I being treated like a princess one day, and the next I'm a fucking leper who he can't even deign to speak to long enough to tell me that it's over?
I'm being strong in person and on Facebook and to him and to my friends and everywhere else except here. I'm acting like it isn't bothering me much but the truth is it's agonizing and I feel literally sick. Excuse the melodrama, but I'm dying inside over here. I mean what the hell did I do to deserve this you guys? AGAIN?! Different person, more intense feelings, but the SAME situation. I get my heart broken over. And over. And OVER. I'm SO sick of it.
And don't I at least deserve an explanation? Or even just an, "I'm sorry"?! What about even just ONE word, like, "okay" or something, in response to what I said to him? It's not like I was rude about it! I'd rather him insult me and call me every name in the book than the absolute silence. It's just cruel, what he's done/is doing. Fuuuck dude... I just want to understand...