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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

No hope for the future

Doomed, I am in a similar situation. I am type 1 insulin dependant diabetic, In 2003 I started losing my vision. Both my retinas became detached so I underwent 25+ eye operations. At the same time I was diagnosed with Neuropathy, a chronic nerve pain condition caused by the diabetes. Following that I found out I was in stage 4 renal failure. The last 9 years have been hell. I get panic attacks and am lethargic and depressed all the time.

If the difficulties although differ the result is similar in loss of hope and ambition. We feel a loss of self esteem and the negative part is tring to handle all these problems at one time.

thanks for your words, at least I know someone else is suffering too, and I hope the best for you
 
What were you diagnosed with silenced? I had a tough time last night, bad pain. Which of course made my mood worse.

Neuropathic, have you ever tried gabapentin or pregabalin? They are meant to work quite well for nerve pain, my condition affects my nerves too, but I couldn't cope with the side effects, made me fall over and all kinds of stuff, I finally stopped pregabalin when I fell while trying to make myself a drink, banged my bad leg and jarred my bad arm.

I'm sorry you're both feeling like do, but if you ever wanted to chat I can pm you my msn address if you like? Pain patients need to stick together and support each other through all the tests, med change, physio, survey etc.
 
Doomed: The lack of control over a situation perceived as negative -- although I'm sure that few would deny that yours is negative, this applies to things that are in a far greyer area than yours too -- is one of the major criteria toward unhealthy stress. Take workplace stress: you have a boss that has a managerial style that doesn't work for you, but there's nothing you can do about that. It might just be a minor difference of opinion, but because they have authority you can't do a damn thing about it. Over time the little thing, that in another context might not bug you becomes bigger and bigger until it takes over your perception of the situation. But it's still a small thing, even though it affects you so much-- which is why I think that people exploding over 'some little thing' isn't necessarily petty; they may have been putting up with it for a while, and needed to have it dealt with.

Now, in your case it's obviously quite different. But, while you may have little control over your pain at the moment, you can exert control over your psychological state. That's where CBT really shines: it teaches you how to decouple the harmful internal associations and behaviours that can lead to your hopelessness. There's nothing easy about it, but it can be overcome. Nothing in life that's worth doing is easy though. You can improve things psychologically while you work with your doctors to sort out the pain as well.

Sucks about getting the oc removed for BT pain-- it works well for that.
 
I know I found when I was on fentanyl and oc ir for break through I wasn't as snappy, I was more into my projects ( I started a charity to raise money for research into crps, making custom designs for people like decorations for wheel chair wheels, crutches, tees and hoodies etc) but then I came off the oc, then fent as the patches really really upset my skin and apparently we in the uk can't get it in any other form unless we have private health care, drs aren't allowed to prescribe it on the nhs due to cost which sucks. So then the pain kicked me in the ass due to my arm starting with the pain and same skin symptoms as my foot, so I couldn't do my uni work or much of my creative work for the charity. That I think was when my moods stopped swinging wildly for mania to depression to just plain depression. It's been like that ever since.

I see my therapist again on tues, at the minute she comes to my home but I think we might be doing exposure if I start improving so she'll walk me to the local health centre for my session to try and get my panic under control.

Do you know of any good books Dave? I have bought a PTSD workbook for my iPad and also bought the mood gym book. There are just so many on amazon I didn't know what to get for the best.

Thanks for the positive responses though, it means a lot.
 
^ i would recomend going to a bookshop or library to check out books.
i was at the library this week looking at books on chronic pain, some were laughable - 'heal your pain in just 3 minutes'
im enjoying reading Pain Management by Renee Goossens.
 
Depends on what you're looking for, Doomed. I actually found the lay-person EMDR book to be pretty interesting. If you're looking for escapism I could offer all kinds of awesome sci-fi suggestions as well as some denser, heavier material too.
 
3 minutes? Roffle we wish. How is the other book Brighton?

Will have a look for the emdr one thanks Dave. I like reading all kinds of books, horror, education,philosophy, theology, sic fi, Harry potter (yes I am a child) so any suggestions will be taken seriously :)

Drs soon for tests :(
 
^ it really good! im only halfway thru atm. some parts are specific to new zealand and australia but most of the book would be applicable to anyone.
whats emdr?
how did the doctor go? any luck getting to see a pain specialist?
 
I'm still waiting for a referral to new pain management dr.

My bp is still low, but my ECG was ok. Just got to wait 10 days to see what the bloods say. I'm still jangled from town but at least I managed to force myself to go. I freakedin the bank and nearly burst into tears,poor woman who served me must have been confused to hell. Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing, I am going to be receiving it for my PTSD, and I had some for pain relief too. Just waiting for a practitioner and the insurance to ok it.
 
i would harass (nicely!) whoevers doing the refferal until it gets done if you think its urgent.
then harass the pain clinic until you get an appointment, or get on the cancelation list.
worked for me just last week :)
 
I'm waiting for the insurance company to agree to pay for it, but my solicitor is harassing them nicely. In so much pain tonight, took an extra 60mg of morphine AND split the caps but I'm still hurting real bad.i need decent meds, I'm depressed to hell when the pain is this bad
 
I'm glad you're getting somewhere btw. What is your conditioning you wrist? My ight arm is fudged since the crps spread andi can't do my artwork anymore, which sucks as I'm a professional art it and was hoping to open my own tattoo place eventually. Meh I miss painting so bad
 
Well, for escapism I love both the original (i.e. Frank, nor Brian Herbert) Dune series, and anything in the Culture cycle by Iain M Banks.
 
I shall look into those books. I have been reading biographies about people with mental health problems lately. Very informative, inspiring and also I can really relate. Very good books.

My name is going to be in a book soon, quite impressed with that :)
 
Doomed2pain said:
I'm glad you're getting somewhere btw. What is your conditioning you wrist? My ight arm is fudged since the crps spread andi can't do my artwork anymore, which sucks as I'm a professional art it and was hoping to open my own tattoo place eventually. dI miss painting so bad
Click to expand...

ive had a fucked wrist all year, doctors and specialists dont know what is wrong. BUT i had an ultrasound done yesterday and they found a ganglion right where most of my pain is so maybe getting that sorted will help. trying not to get my hopes up though.....pissed off its taken them nearly a year to find this thing !!!!
can you go to ED if your pain is really bad?
 
Nah, I'm already on morphine so it wouldn't make much difference, I just have to put up with it. Not fun

Urggh don't get me started on how useless some drs are when it comes to getting a diagnosis...

Hope they manage to fix you, I will keep my fingers crossed for you.
 
thanks :-)
have you tried kava? its very calming, i find it helps with my pain the same way valium does, calms me down so im not focussing on the pain.
ugh useless doctors i hate them all!!!! =D
 
Yep me too, I once nearly booted my old pm management dr in the face. He was such a fucking dick! Never listened, always hurt me, on purpose I think as he knew how sensitive I am to touch and temp, the slightest breeze on the foot is excruciating and leaves me writhing around in tears for at least 30 minutes. He made me have a full blown panic attack and spoke to me like shit, I often left his office in uncontrollable tears, my partner was going to go to the hospital and pull him when I came home in a state one time.

I have never tried kava no. I currently have a diazepam script, so I went to a gig last night, although I was till on edge and anxious the diazepam always really helps to stop me from having a full blown attack and is great for the physical symptoms. I shall have to give kava a try, where can you get it from? Is it expensive? I'm on a tight budget with being unable to work :(
 
Yep, when he was doing the nerve blocks, he actually injected into my bad foot, but could get the vein so kept digging around with this huge needle, 4 nurses had to restrain me and I was screaming and crying in agony, eventually I suggested he get a premature baby canular instead, but if that hadn't have worked, he wanted to drill through my hip and inject into my spine, I'd have just got up and left with how incompetent he was, no way did I want him stick needles in my back. The pain blocks made my pain worse, made the crps move up my leg and were too distressful for me so I only had 2 sessions.

He is lucky the nurses held me down or I'd have kicked him in the face with my good foot. I should really complain about his manner, attitude and ineptitude at treating a pain patient, I still might do but I am unsure how to go about it, I didn't want to at the time but as I am going to be seeing a private pm dr soon I don't need to worry about being discharged just because I made a complaint.
 
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