Today is Thursday, April 8th, 2010 and it is nor 1030 AM here in Brooklyn, NYC.
When last we spoke, I had not talked with Rizza in a few days, Jackie and I were on an even keel and life was dandy. I was contemplating finally buying my return ticket to the Philippines...
I am actually simaltaneously IMing with Jackie as I compose this entry. These Sidekick phones are nifty. Don't tell Jackie but it has an IM feature separate from the internet so that I can do both. Sure you say your PC or laptop can do that without a problem, on the same screen. Cellular phones however lack the power that a regular computer has. Most allow you to IM or use the internet but not simeltaneously.
I say "do not tell Jackie" because IF she knew she would swear I was IMing with another woman.
Mariposa had commented about Jackie having my Email and IMpassword, saying that it was basically a violation of my personal space. She asked curiosly if all Filipinas are as jealous. As I explained to her, in honesty, I have only ever been romantically involved with 3, Rizza, a Kampampangan woman who is a film actress in the Philippines and of course Jackie. I noted that Rizza and Jackie were both insanely jealous, and that Rizza is a Bisaya and Jackie is half-Bisaya but raised in that culture.
The Philippines has more than 7,100 islands with many dozens of ethnicities and tribes. An Aeta (Negrito) will have precious little in common with an Illokano even though they may live in the same province. However, 1 thing I have noticed since Mariposa posed this question is that among my friends and acquaintances in the Philippines jealousy is a fact of life. Insane jealousy by Western standards though to their credit violence rarely involves itself.
Now Jackie is 26, an intelligent woman, but she is a maniac when it comes to jealousy. I do not really see it as an issue because I am retired, I am narrowing my buisness interests because of Rizza and my situation so that my buisnesses will be run from wherever I build our compound. I do not go to clubs and have only been to 1 bar in my life. I do not drink smoke, drink or gamble and never have. My only vice is opioids/opiates and that is because of a medical condition (getting shot in the jaw). The point is, I really do not see how her jealousy could effect us once I am living with her. Famous last words...
In a way I guess I understand. She lives in a culture where women with unsuccessful marriages are pariahs. The best she could hope for would be to become somone's mistress are badly treated 2nd or 3rd girlfriend. There is no divorce for non-Muslims.
Men have tried to "court" her since she separated from her ex. In the Philippines almost all ethnicities require "courting." Just as people used to do in the West 50 years ago, the man formally asks to court the woman, and if she agrees they date. If the woman is a virgin, and it is in the countryside there will be a chaperone. The cities have changed a lot in the more than 20 years I have been involved with the country. Today they are gaining ground on Western Nations in terms of sex before marriage and even teen pregnancy, something unheard of in the early 1990s (forget about late 80s).
One man that asked her was a Peeping Tom. A soldier, he showed up one day at Jackies with a mutual female friend. Jackie thought they were a couple, they sat in the kitchen. The man kept looking at her which Jackie found strange since she assumed the girl was his woman. Finally the woman said, "Jackie he would like to speak to you." The man loked Jackie in the eye and said he has been standing outside the house for several nights over the last couple of weeks, ever since he followed her as she returned from the mall.
He said he wanted to court her. Quickly getting over her suprise she said, strongly (she says), "Do you realise what you have done? I am in the middle of a messy separation with a man who is trying to take my kids and you are snooping around my house!!!? Then you are gossiping asking questions about me? NO, absolutely not."
The man was shocked. He asked if they still might be friends. Jackie said, "Knowing that you have these feelings for me, absolutely not." She said he looks so shocked.
This was when she and I still had not made our relationship physical, and she was as she said, worried that her ex would take her daughters so I did not enter the conversation.
More recently, about 1 month ago, she was taking a jeepney* to the mall. A Sgt. Sat next to her and as men will do, struck up a conversation. Saying he had just transferred from the 10th Infantry Division in Davao City he was new to the area and asked if Jackie knew where a neighbourhood called Carmen was. She told him she did. He made small talk and when the jeepney arrived in Carmen she said, Sgt, this is Carmen."
As he rose to disembark he asked for her phone number and she replied she was married. He looked shocked and asked if her husband was a soldier. She said yes. He asked what Brigade and Battalion but she answered he is not Filipino.
Looking so suprised he automatically assumed that I was a US Advisor, since US Advisors train the AFP (Pfilippine military) in COIN (Counterinsugency). He told her, "Why do you want an American?" She said, "Because I love him, of course." He replied, "He will leave you," indeed many Advisors do take local women, some inpregnate them and then haul ass never to be seen again.
She told him, even if he leaves me, I will never leave him. I love him." Of course this is Jackie's version. In reality she could have said, "How big is your dick, meet me at 8." I however, being the consummate fool in love that I am tend to believe Jackie.
In truth, she has no reason to lie because she could have simply chosen not to tell me.
She is probablly the most honest person I have ever met, even more honest than me and I am anal retentive about honesty.
So...Jackie is sick now which always worries me. Mindanao is rife with diseases Westerners never think about: Ebola? Cholera? Dengue? Snail Fever? Rabies? Yikessssssssss.
In the US and nost of the developed world being a military dependant means that one is privy to many fringe benefits. In the Philippines however it is relegated to military housing after several years waiting and a seat on a C130 for inter island transport, when such seats are available. C130s have jumps seats along the interior walls (well it would NOT be EXTERIOR, duh) so it is not like say a 747. Medical and dental care are not a benefit.
We were talking about my latest dental work and she asked me a question about what it is like to get your teeth cleaned. I made a joke about it had to have been a long time since she last had seen a dentist. Her reply? "Baby, I have never been to a dentist." That is the Philippines, a place where the middle class never sees a dentist.
Jackie shocked me last night with a question she asked me, but I will leave that for the next entry since this one seems to be getting a bit long in the tooth right now.
When last we spoke, I had not talked with Rizza in a few days, Jackie and I were on an even keel and life was dandy. I was contemplating finally buying my return ticket to the Philippines...
I am actually simaltaneously IMing with Jackie as I compose this entry. These Sidekick phones are nifty. Don't tell Jackie but it has an IM feature separate from the internet so that I can do both. Sure you say your PC or laptop can do that without a problem, on the same screen. Cellular phones however lack the power that a regular computer has. Most allow you to IM or use the internet but not simeltaneously.
I say "do not tell Jackie" because IF she knew she would swear I was IMing with another woman.
Mariposa had commented about Jackie having my Email and IMpassword, saying that it was basically a violation of my personal space. She asked curiosly if all Filipinas are as jealous. As I explained to her, in honesty, I have only ever been romantically involved with 3, Rizza, a Kampampangan woman who is a film actress in the Philippines and of course Jackie. I noted that Rizza and Jackie were both insanely jealous, and that Rizza is a Bisaya and Jackie is half-Bisaya but raised in that culture.
The Philippines has more than 7,100 islands with many dozens of ethnicities and tribes. An Aeta (Negrito) will have precious little in common with an Illokano even though they may live in the same province. However, 1 thing I have noticed since Mariposa posed this question is that among my friends and acquaintances in the Philippines jealousy is a fact of life. Insane jealousy by Western standards though to their credit violence rarely involves itself.
Now Jackie is 26, an intelligent woman, but she is a maniac when it comes to jealousy. I do not really see it as an issue because I am retired, I am narrowing my buisness interests because of Rizza and my situation so that my buisnesses will be run from wherever I build our compound. I do not go to clubs and have only been to 1 bar in my life. I do not drink smoke, drink or gamble and never have. My only vice is opioids/opiates and that is because of a medical condition (getting shot in the jaw). The point is, I really do not see how her jealousy could effect us once I am living with her. Famous last words...
In a way I guess I understand. She lives in a culture where women with unsuccessful marriages are pariahs. The best she could hope for would be to become somone's mistress are badly treated 2nd or 3rd girlfriend. There is no divorce for non-Muslims.
Men have tried to "court" her since she separated from her ex. In the Philippines almost all ethnicities require "courting." Just as people used to do in the West 50 years ago, the man formally asks to court the woman, and if she agrees they date. If the woman is a virgin, and it is in the countryside there will be a chaperone. The cities have changed a lot in the more than 20 years I have been involved with the country. Today they are gaining ground on Western Nations in terms of sex before marriage and even teen pregnancy, something unheard of in the early 1990s (forget about late 80s).
One man that asked her was a Peeping Tom. A soldier, he showed up one day at Jackies with a mutual female friend. Jackie thought they were a couple, they sat in the kitchen. The man kept looking at her which Jackie found strange since she assumed the girl was his woman. Finally the woman said, "Jackie he would like to speak to you." The man loked Jackie in the eye and said he has been standing outside the house for several nights over the last couple of weeks, ever since he followed her as she returned from the mall.
He said he wanted to court her. Quickly getting over her suprise she said, strongly (she says), "Do you realise what you have done? I am in the middle of a messy separation with a man who is trying to take my kids and you are snooping around my house!!!? Then you are gossiping asking questions about me? NO, absolutely not."
The man was shocked. He asked if they still might be friends. Jackie said, "Knowing that you have these feelings for me, absolutely not." She said he looks so shocked.
This was when she and I still had not made our relationship physical, and she was as she said, worried that her ex would take her daughters so I did not enter the conversation.
More recently, about 1 month ago, she was taking a jeepney* to the mall. A Sgt. Sat next to her and as men will do, struck up a conversation. Saying he had just transferred from the 10th Infantry Division in Davao City he was new to the area and asked if Jackie knew where a neighbourhood called Carmen was. She told him she did. He made small talk and when the jeepney arrived in Carmen she said, Sgt, this is Carmen."
As he rose to disembark he asked for her phone number and she replied she was married. He looked shocked and asked if her husband was a soldier. She said yes. He asked what Brigade and Battalion but she answered he is not Filipino.
Looking so suprised he automatically assumed that I was a US Advisor, since US Advisors train the AFP (Pfilippine military) in COIN (Counterinsugency). He told her, "Why do you want an American?" She said, "Because I love him, of course." He replied, "He will leave you," indeed many Advisors do take local women, some inpregnate them and then haul ass never to be seen again.
She told him, even if he leaves me, I will never leave him. I love him." Of course this is Jackie's version. In reality she could have said, "How big is your dick, meet me at 8." I however, being the consummate fool in love that I am tend to believe Jackie.
In truth, she has no reason to lie because she could have simply chosen not to tell me.
She is probablly the most honest person I have ever met, even more honest than me and I am anal retentive about honesty.
So...Jackie is sick now which always worries me. Mindanao is rife with diseases Westerners never think about: Ebola? Cholera? Dengue? Snail Fever? Rabies? Yikessssssssss.
In the US and nost of the developed world being a military dependant means that one is privy to many fringe benefits. In the Philippines however it is relegated to military housing after several years waiting and a seat on a C130 for inter island transport, when such seats are available. C130s have jumps seats along the interior walls (well it would NOT be EXTERIOR, duh) so it is not like say a 747. Medical and dental care are not a benefit.
We were talking about my latest dental work and she asked me a question about what it is like to get your teeth cleaned. I made a joke about it had to have been a long time since she last had seen a dentist. Her reply? "Baby, I have never been to a dentist." That is the Philippines, a place where the middle class never sees a dentist.
Jackie shocked me last night with a question she asked me, but I will leave that for the next entry since this one seems to be getting a bit long in the tooth right now.