Nm

Nevermind anything said. Its my fault, always was always is my fault. I need to leave BL maybe. I need to leave DS alone. Get better or GTFO, is very much the message I got tonight. Loud and clear I hear you. Go away...
Fine, rejected by someone, rejected by the DS "family". I might as well let rejection go and be a part of my life because its not changing. Rejection from the ex, Rejection from S., Rejection from my brother, Rejection from my family, Rejection from D., rejection and rejection...rejection because I'm never good enough. I'm not even good enough where its supposed to be ok not be good enough.
Am I in my self pity mode here a bit? Yes. I'm hurt, and when I'm hurt this is what happens.
I get angry, I regret getting angry because its not acceptable, and then I feel bad and then I'm just hurt by what happened, what was said. Am I deleting blogs no, not yet. Have I deleted what I said from the thread if I could, yes. Take what is said and shut the hell up, I know that one all to well.
I FEEL attacked, hurt, depressed, sad, angry...all the emotions I don't like, even on MDMA...so you win. You win. You win, even though I didn't take it to feel better, you win because I don't feel happy. Isn't that what you wanted? You win.

 

PT, I don't think that anyone is telling you to leave. A mere suggestion, yes, telling you to flat out leave BL, I'm not buying it.

You start classes this week, correct? Take some time away from BL and focus on new classes starting. Going back to school, seeing people, starting new classes, etc. are always a good refreshment when things aren't going how you would like, at least for me. Chin up.

 

you keep stating that you are going to leave Bluelight and quit posting, but you do not do it. You may have every right to make dramatic good byes and then not leave but you have to at least partially understand why this frustrates people. My personal opinion, stick with your threats and leave.
Find a new community to stretch out for reactions and exhaust with endless minor complaints. I dare you.
If that isn't telling me to leave, there is at least underlying hatred. And in others
I get told to quit posting...same diff.

 

^ yeah but no one has that balls to say that on the board. That what might not hurt someone else. Hurt me horribly. I scared myself cutting today because of BL ppl...shit I didn't mean to cut that deep. Not that anyone cares. I closed it and the bleeding is stopped its fine.