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NJ guidos

from www.getoffourisland.com (thank you nicole! :))

how to spot a guido:

Be on the Lookout for:

1) an excessive blowout haircut

2) a full pound of gel entrenched in their hair that gives it the texture of a bag of nails

3) an unnatural and often disturbing orange tan

4) the only males that ever enter the tanning salon for that matter

5) the guy in front of a mirror when you show up at the gym and standing in front of the same mirror when you leave an hour later

6) the guy that wears a button down shirt but can’t learn how to use the top two buttons

7) the ones that never worked hard in their life, (being a sleazy stockbroker is not a difficult job)

8) the ones that make it a point to serve no greater purpose for society

9) the guy who acts tough all the time, even when having a conversation with his grandmother

10) those who try so hard to act like they are in the mafia

11) the fools who kiss anyone’s ass who they think has even remote ties to the mafia

12) the kids who drive expensive cars that their parents bought for them, mostly low end BMW’s, but couldn’t change their oil if their life depended on it

13) those people who think gangster rap music takes a tremendous amount of talent

14) the ones who only watch sports when they are betting on the games.

15) those just emanate a natural “douche bag” aura
 
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LMAO..the site sells tshirts too :)
 
I saw some guidos the other day and it made me laugh.

Guido you cool here, just lose your cracka-fro and youll get all the pussy im tellin ya. what better judge than me do you got. italian, likes rap....I can tell you that the Caesar is WAAAAAY hotter on a dude. that shit is hot man. im tellin ya, shave the fro, if your darkhaired, rock that close-shave caesar shit with the chin-strap and it will look fiine. words of wisdom give it a try. you could always grow it back.
 
Aiight mabye I'll consider losing the whitemans afro and the ball of spikes. But for the record I had that cut before it was popular.=D
 
no hate. just ripping on an entire subculture. shit, we rip on ravers and many of us would probably be lumped into that category too :)
 
^^^exactly. Just because we diss the stereotypical guido does not necessarily mean our statments extend to ClubbinGuido.
 
Yea he aight. He the Guido Ambassador to Bluelight.

Youre good Guido....just lose the hair and youll lose the undesirable guido status and can remain a proud guido by heritage, not by hair :D
 
^^^ actually, that look is more typical than you'd guess, unfortunately. that definitely is close to the 'ultimate guido' look that all the jr guidos look up to.
 
^ Most of those guidos above look like fags. Theres guidos and then theres those assholes. There a discrace to NJ and NY.

I really dont think I can part with the hair though. I mean in a way I have because I was in a car accident a while back and have been like basically confined to my house so my hair hasnt been blown out or glued up in about 2 months...

I'll get jumped in the hood without my blowout though. They know not to fuck with the white italian kid with the blowout. There might be complications if I shave it.
 
Trust me yo. i dont know how your pussy meter is now, but it will go uppppp with a change of the hair. Plus it wont be stupid guidolover sluts, it will be fine bitches. The hot black chicks will jump your bones. and they got waaay more ass than those scrawny, fake tanned, brown with blonde highlights french-ass manicure mall-shoppin guidettes.

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^ that = HOT whether its on white or black or spanish dudes. if your darkhaired to begin with which im sure you are then its gonna look fly as fuck. you know that italians for some reason are allowed to rock those typically black/latino styles when it would look wack as hell on some wannabe wigga kid. thas just how we do. so try it. if it dont work you could always grow it back. all change is painful.

plus just wear the same clothes you always wear when you goin in the hood and theyll recognize you and if they got your back it dont matter if the other mufuckas dont.
 
i know this threads been dead for a while, but i needed to bump it back up. i went to HS with this guy:

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check out his 'about me':
As you should know My name is shaun . Im 22 years old, I love to lookvery sharp and i am a very classy guy.I have respect for women. i could be a bad boy at times, dats if u get me in the mood to be..)- I Hate Drama, u drama queens drive me crazy!! I enjoy taking forever to get ready, YES U LADIES HATE THAT. but as they say you either look like a million bucks or go home. . I Love to dance , and meet people all the time.TO ALL THE MUTHA FUCKIN HATERS OUT THERE.. DONT TALK SHIT CAUSE UR ALLL FCUKIN JEALOUS!!!.. U cant Look like Us and be us.. When We roll to the Club, THe Party starts WHen we Walk in and the PartY ends When we leave!!.. When u see the Spikey hair and the Diamonds flashing all ova.. U kno who We are.. We Rock The clubs Like Celeberties.. we cant walk in the club without Getting mobbed by the Girls.. The guys see us walk in they wanna be like Us.. CAUse we took all the WOMEN!!.I LOVE Goin To Bars and watching people just Stare n say omg look at his hair.and look at what he is wearing.. " WELL HMM" ur outift looks like u bought it from KMART and wait.. Just my SHirt alone cost more then ur whole outFit!.." Keep UR mouth SHut n Go on ur way!.. DONE DEAL GAME OVA!! To ALL the WANNABEEs Out There.. U WANT UR HAIR LIKE THE BEST .. U GOTS TO USE THE VERY BEST.. IM TIRED OF GUYS ASKINME HOW THEY COULD GET THERE HAIR LIKE MINE N WUT TO USE.. SOO IM LETTIN U IN ON A LIL SECRET SOOO STOP ASKIN ME

scary, isn't it? ;)
 
^^just trade in the boobs for about 20 lbs of gel, lol. :)
 
check out those finely tweezed eyebrows. i bet that guy spends 10x more getting ready than i do. my eyebrows are outta control :D
 
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