(Nitrous Oxide) - Experienced - Life Changing Problems

[budd0413]

bravo, go on

 

[His Name Is Frank]

Oh don't get me wrong. The conversation is very interesting. We just have to keep it on the topic at hand, you crazy kids. :D I've never tried nitrous myself. Probably never will, but never say never. Hell, I had never tried Adderall until tonight.

 

[Cortexelus]

Amazing REPLY! :D:D I read it out loud with all my friends XD
Your videos/music are fractacular o_o hard to imagine someone pulled that off 15 years ago

Whoa that sucks that all your diaries were burned. But AWESOME that you're a writing a book. I want to be the first one to read it. (I'm writing one too. It's psyfi (lol) based loosely on my own experiments and insights. It's about a psychonaut exploring himself with chemical/technological means. Your story is most definitely an inspiration as well xD)

As for the value of information generated during psychedelic experiences, these two chapters by James Kent may be of interest:
http://psychedelic-information-theory.com/The-Value-of-Psychedelic-Information
http://psychedelic-information-theory.com/Psychedelic-Information-Theory

Also McKenna's point about Medium-sized fish:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7WjtZnEEiA

As for the ineffable quality of these experiences, I've been there. Sometimes it's like "this is truly beyond my capability to describe this with words. Any poor attempt to use language so would only water it down". Once on acid, I temporarily lost my ability to use language. (Then I had some espresso and it all came back and I started writing.) It made me realize just how amazing language is. It's a TANK, thousands of years old, growing and folding in on itself and branching and feedbacking and evolving like an organism itself. It's an amazing tool. Words make things happen. Of all things in the human realm, language is really at the edge of chaos (the slightest difference of linguistic intent, and the future butterflies elsewhere.)

When faced with the ineffable, will you return speaking?

I realized: what's enlightenment if it cannot be shared with others, or myself later?

I realized the importance of creating cultural objects-- translating epiphanies into language/imagery/metaphor/art, so that it can be thought about, rationalized, digested, shared, reacted to, scaffolded-off-of, absorbed into the culture, feedbacked and deconstructed and remixed back into you.

I realized the importance of devising techniques for capturing fleeting epiphanies, in a form accessible to myself later, and to others.

I realized the importance of describing epiphanies through the lenses of already-proliferated worldviews, philosophies, and scientific theories. You have to speak others' languages for them to hear you. (The imaginative part of you has to speak the language of the rational part of you, and vice versa, too)

It seems to me there are at least two ways to share information about an experience.

1) Either you utilize language, imagery, and metaphor.
2) Or you recreate the experience directly for other people.

Both are important. The first way is more accessible and digestible, while the second is clearly more direct and authentic. The first can be difficult, and will fall short, but its not impossible to convey experience and ignite others' imaginations through symbols and metaphors alone (McKenna's elegant description of DMT, for example). The second way can sometimes be impossible, but you've done a really good job piloting the ship for others, and describing the blueprints for us. If a scientist has yet make sense of his findings, he has done the world good by facilitating the re-creation of his experiment by others.

I have finally embarked on the journey to attempt this expression. It's going to take time.

Godspeed! XD

 

[icked]

Thank you for the read, and definitely learned something from this thank you for posting your story.

 

[TheMerryPrankster]

Amazing REPLY! :D:D I read it out loud with all my friends XD

.......

Godspeed! XD

Thank you )

The lengthy reply was obviously intended for you - and despite my incoherence at times, I was trying to at least get a start on answering some of your questions/observations. I was a little disheartened at what appeared to be a judgment. If I am seriously expected to clarify and quantify the ineffible in terms that can be universally understood (in a mannerthat has clearly not been done before or it would have had more press) then it needs to be understood that the answers, or expression of such deep metaphysical shit needs to be verbalized within a coherent intellectual construct. To simply state some of the conclusions at which I have arrived over the decades (yeah - decades - that's kind of the point) then I must first attempt to build and define the constructs in which such thought is based. There is no quick fix here. Anyone claiming to be able to spit out universal and hitherto inexplicable philosophical quandries that have historically defied defined description thus far would be a hard one in which to place credence - myself included.

It was suggested that this debate might be best served somewhere else in a thread of its own, as I started this thread to warn of the generally unknown dangers of chronic Nitrous abuse, and that the debate of universal truths is somewhat off topic. While I see the validity of this point - it is also perhaps a pertinent tangent, as it was in the quest of the pursuit of these answers that I lost my way in the first place - and which culminated in my excessive abuse and subsequent (let's call a spade a spade) permanent brain damage.

I think that there is a collective consciousness/spirit emerging here and I personally (as the original poster) do not have a problem with it's pursuit in this thread - at least for a short while or until it be determined by a moderator to be neccessarily relocated to a more appropriate location. Moderator advice is welcome.

In the meantime, I would like to add a short (HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!) response to some of the recent comments.

TMP

 

[TheMerryPrankster]

I realized: what's enlightenment if it cannot be shared with others, or myself later?

I realized the importance of creating cultural objects-- translating epiphanies into language/imagery/metaphor/art, so that it can be thought about, rationalized, digested, shared, reacted to, scaffolded-off-of, absorbed into the culture, feedbacked and deconstructed and remixed back into you.

I realized the importance of devising techniques for capturing fleeting epiphanies, in a form accessible to myself later, and to others.

I realized the importance of describing epiphanies through the lenses of already-proliferated worldviews, philosophies, and scientific theories. You have to speak others' languages for them to hear you. (The imaginative part of you has to speak the language of the rational part of you, and vice versa, too)

It seems to me there are at least two ways to share information about an experience.

1) Either you utilize language, imagery, and metaphor.
2) Or you recreate the experience directly for other people.

Both are important. The first way is more accessible and digestible, while the second is clearly more direct and authentic. The first can be difficult, and will fall short, but its not impossible to convey experience and ignite others' imaginations through symbols and metaphors alone (McKenna's elegant description of DMT, for example). The second way can sometimes be impossible, but you've done a really good job piloting the ship for others, and describing the blueprints for us. If a scientist has yet make sense of his findings, he has done the world good by facilitating the re-creation of his experiment by others.


Godspeed! XD

Just Awesomely put!!!

Brilliant!!

More!!!

TMP

 

[TheMerryPrankster]

I think it damaged me mildly somehow, taking hits a couple of times each day..
It use to take my mind places then one day one shot, like a switch flicked, it just didn't carry my mind anymore.

I tried again later normal physical effects but nothing more, none of the former joy.

I thought it was harmless if oxygen depletion was avoided, however more research revealed that nitrous DXM, PCP and ketamine do kill certain brain cells, interestingly it also included that psylicybin exhibits a neuroprotective action against this, the article was to technical for me to understand though....sorry all

It would be nice to get a short simple fact sheet that people could understand, perhaps some brain educated type Has/could put something together

Hold that thought! I believe it possible that you, like me, have been on the receiving end of the low grade Nitrous Oxide that is now prevalent on department store shelves. I had a similar experience to you a number of years ago - it just stopped working. For nearly 18 months I questioned whether it was me, my imagination, or what?? Had I become immune - had I absorbed as much as was possible and could simply never go any further? But then - about 18 months later - splat - it was back - all of it - without a doubt. I enjoyed a further two odd years of usage (in moderation!!! - I did learn from my mistake) - and then abot 2 years ago it disappeared in exactly the same way. I have done a fair bit of research - and there are companies online that claim to stock the real deal - and acknowledge that there is a substandard Nitrous that is being use nowdays for whipped cream syphons.

I believed exactly what you wrote in your post - and I think (and I hope) that you are wrong - that you are not immune, and that you did not damage yourself. I will be able to tell you the answer to this fairly soon, as I intend to get some fairly soon - by Christmas at the latest. I will let you know as soon as I do.

TMP

 

[TheMerryPrankster]

I think it is certainly interesting to debate and TMP seems to be trying to convey something, this is helping him get it out?

I thought people were interested in what he had actually come up with?

Hey rolls,

That long post two days agotook most of the day - I needed a break. It's too late in the day for me to get started right now - although I might respond to a couple of your thoughts. But I will hopefully get to it over the next day or two - I will try to stay away for the 'grand' description and will try to be more direct. However, if you want me to be brief, and essentially give you 'examples' then I must reserve the right to clarify anything I write, as to condense into a salient point, I must omit the justification. Better start small and expand than try and paint the whole picture. I will try to respond to your individualposts as I make the time.

TMP

 

[TheMerryPrankster]

Well actually some people would say that is the definition of being mad, believing things you know have no evidence or reason behind them as truth.

Let's start with this one. I use this analogy a lot. I know that it is simplistic, but it is a direct response to your comment here.

There is a common belief, held by over 2 billion people worldwide, that every Sunday, they enter into a building that they believe to be the house of what they call "God", supposedly the creator of all things (who is, oddly enough, a man). In this building, every sunday, they eat a wafer and drink some diluted wine, which they sincerely believe to be eating and drinking the body and blood of a man who may or may not have lived and died about two thousand years ago. They base this cannabalistic belief on a few short chapters of a book that has been translated back and forth between a number of ancient languages and dialects, and of which the first record was made about 40 years after the death of this quite possibly ficticiious character. They claim that this book is the actual words of this 'God' of theirs, however they offer no tangible evidence of any kind as to the existence of this God, or how these words are 'His'. Certainly this 'God' of whom just about everybody speaks at one time or another has never actually made an appearance (other than a few short chapters of this very old book, in which it is claimed that a man (the main course of this ritual Sunday cannibalism) was in fact this 'God's son (although the supposed 'Son' of "God' never actually said that he was either 'God' or that he was the Son of 'God'). So the people spreading the rumours were in Fact men. Men siad that there is this thing called 'God'. Men said that the two thousand year old Sunday Roast was this 'God's son. This 'God' fellow didn't say anything unless you believe the Men who said that the Roast was his son - even if the roast disagreed.

Man said it all. And where did Man get if from - why the 'book' of course - and the book was written by... let's hear it folks... Men

Well actually some people would say that is the definition of being mad, believing things you know have no evidence or reason behind them as truth.

And they let these people become Kings and Queens and Presidents.

And Scientists!!!

TMP

P.S. It all comes down to semantics. You are trying to trip me up on semantics. But you're tripping youself up on the same device. I will attempt to respond to your other points without being so obvious. And I would normally never be so petty as this. But you are trying to force me to state scientific truths as faith. Semantics boil down to opinion and our respective abilities to articulate those opinions.

You want me to articulate, using words, some of thing things that I have - for want of a much less cheesy saying - 'brought back from the other side' as one example. But you want me to do it here - now - you want me to prove to you scientifically, things that have never been proven before - yet you've openly declared me to be a schiphrenic (in your opinion) suffereing from delusions, rather than having been privvy to enlightenment. You've already judged me.

SUrely you understand that proof - especially proof of this magnitude cannot be expressed in a few words or paragraph, If this is to be really taken as as a serious subject, and if I am claiming to be coming it it from a scientific perspective, then why would you not grant me the space that I would need to be professionally coherent - and why try to goad me into immediate responses .

So let's take a good long look at what you said to me - and more than that - let6's take a look at the way that you said it...

 

[WinterNips]

Personally I think you should write a book, captivating writing, fascinating insight.

 

[lostNfound]

Wow. What a story, I understand Gascid; although I never had a name for it.
I used to Candyflip while playing with nitrous extensively.

Must be tough living with that pain and the guilt and shame in not being able to talk about the cause of the pain.

 

[nopipesdfw]

My connection with the "Godhead" is active and no longer an addiction atm (not even weekly lulz, plenty of buildup just to a single lung), as somebody who grew up in Catholic school and has studied religion and attended plenty, plenty ceremonies...... I'm glad I found something that is seemingly faster than the speed of light due to stackage, Ender's Game style, not two millenia clinging.

Extinct books and buildings contain stories that might be able to be relevant to you (how extinct are you?), but I honestly lost a constant answer of a will to live over my life with Christianity being right in the middle.(I'm weird as fuck but religious people and other "yes!" robots used to get to me, you want an answer you picked it but it's still not my choice) People can do what they want with their faith, but I didn't spend a whole life of confusion just to hinder myself down from incomplete suggestions.

Since my considering of some dualities and dropping my stance of mega-atheism, maybe it's just my vibes..... but things are going well. Life requires conscious effort though and no holding on in delusional ways, existence is changing. (I know, mr.whippethead talking here)

If I ever suffer health problems or I am obviously doing nitrous even multiple times a week (past that one), heads up please! I'm not here to surrender my pre-intuition at what I do best, though, that would be stupid as fuck. (Yeah, lungs of nitrous whilst tripping landed me on some "eureka!" concepts for me that might be obvious to some people, they were so obviously a catalyst though with the right base)

 

[Dr migi]

Very intressing report. Very good written.
Your sentenses makes lot of senses. I've done LSD a couple of time and was intressted on these fellings of telepathy - psychokenesis? - and perception.

I learned a lot just reading all this. And I'm really happy to read someone that think like I do but in a very deep maner.

Hope you the best.
~mig

 

[TheMerryPrankster]

Personally I think you should write a book, captivating writing, fascinating insight.

Thanks ) Actually I *am* writing a book. I got such postive responses from my posts in here - so recently - with a little prodding - I decided to take thr plunge. I am using Bluelight as a testing ground.

Thanks for the kudos )

TMP

 

[TheMerryPrankster]

Wow. What a story, I understand Gascid; although I never had a name for it.
I used to Candyflip while playing with nitrous extensively.

Must be tough living with that pain and the guilt and shame in not being able to talk about the cause of the pain.

Thanks for the sympathy. Writing and publishing the original was a real catharsis for me. About 10 years ago I posted a *very* short half page on the risks associated with chronic Nitrous use on Erowid. But it wasn't until I posted the 'full' version in here and got such beautiful and supportive responses that I felt that I had finally unloaded my baggage. I've got over the guilt because I have paid the price. I've suffered enough to consider my Karmic punishment complete. The hardest part is that I never told my doctor - or any doctor what the cause was - and as my injury is invisible (neurological - no quantifiable physical manifestation) - doctors have generally considered me to be hypochondriac or an addict, lying to get narcotics.

But I learned a lot through the pain - and I found Yoga (or rather Yoga found me).

TMP

 

[TheMerryPrankster]

Very intressing report. Very good written.
Your sentenses makes lot of senses. I've done LSD a couple of time and was intressted on these fellings of telepathy - psychokenesis? - and perception.

I learned a lot just reading all this. And I'm really happy to read someone that think like I do but in a very deep maner.

Hope you the best.
~mig

Interesting that having only done it a couple of time that you would tune into telepathy and telekenesis. I believe that LSD has the potential - if not to unlock new parts of our brains/minds - at least to show us the potential that is there to unlock. I used to think that maybe we reached true enlightenment when taking substances like LSD, but I now think that maybe it is morelike a 'photograph' of enlightenment - something to show us what might lie at the top of whe mountain that we all climb on our journey through life.

TMP

 

[TheMerryPrankster]

My connection with the "Godhead" is active and no longer an addiction atm ...

Hi,

I am glad that you pulled back from the edge. It is a terrible thing to find something so profound, and then damage or destroy that thing (and yourself) just because you're an uncontrollable kid in a candy store. Stay Well.,

TMP

 

[UnSquare]

Yesterday After An Acupuncture Session Nitrous + Hindu Breath Locks Gave Me ++++

...

 

[sonic_reality]

wow great read man... was so good to see that someone has had similar experiences to me. i've had a few wild high dose lsd experiences, that led to my death(mayan day out of time, i was convinced that the party was the end of the world party, i was told by the spirits/god and also by everyone around me that i was dying/already dead), and eventually my rebirthing as the christ consciousness a few years later(after sharing the same consciousness as my girlfriend, i came out of the experience believing that i was the messiah, in fact, everyone was the messiah, and that for human kind to evolve further, we needed to devolve and get rid of what was holding us back, our clothes... needless to say, nakedness follwed). however i was never fully able to understand or grasp what had happened to me in those trips, i only had a slight understanding of what went on.

it wasn't until i fully started to get back into nitrous again after a few years off, and started to combine it again with acid, that i began to understand and *remember* what had happened to me in my previous trips. in the few moments(which felt like hours) that i was in the gascid realms, i was told what had happened, why it had happened and what lessons i was meant to take from it. hehe and then i too went down the same path as you, doing nitrous daily and combining it with acid, and then to the point of just doing nitrous on it's own, constantly, trying to understand more about the universe. i too also started holding my breath(balloons are nasty and when used constantly, lead to throat infections) on it for minutes at a time, trying to get as much out of it as i could. i think my worst period was going through 5 cases(36 boxes per case) in just over a week. it wasn't until my girlfriend stepped in, that i realised that i was not using it as a tool to learn anymore, i was using it to feed my addiction. and it was an addiction that was just as hard to kick as any other i have had!!

luckily i never got to the stage that you got, and have managed to get a grip on it. i still use it, but only for what i believe is it's intended purpose. i have been told and seen many things while under the influence of lsd and nitrous... and i fully understand what i have been told, but i am not able to get it across to anyone in any form that would make sense, so i do not even bother explaining it anymore. i now just sit back, knowing that the key is there!!

altho for me... i think my best ever combination, was combining dmt and nitrous, whilst on a high dose of lsd. i've done this a few times. pack the cone of dmt, and load 2-3 chargers. fully inhale all of the dmt in one clean hit, hold it in your lungs, and then exhale. before breathing in any oxygen, hit back the nitrous until it is finished. let me just say...... WOW beyond explanation, i seriously have no words to describe what happened, apart from to say that i cried because what i saw was soooo beautiful!!

hehe so it was great to read your story and finally know that someone else has experienced what i experienced(even down to the bad trips that lead to your addiction), that i am not actually all that crazy for believing that there is so much more to nitrous and lsd than i think most people will ever know!!

 

[Dr migi]

if not to unlock new parts of our brains/minds - at least to show us the potential that is there to unlock.

exactly! All these amount of informations our brain filter out when not under the influence of LSD is colossal! I hope that all research on this chemical will prove that it has much more benefit to get and change the opinions of people on it.