Harambulus
Greenlighter
I realized that although I only take drugs a few times a year it has been a long standing dependancy (although minute compared to what most poeple would consider dependancy). It's starting to feel now like an old girlfriend you go back to for a nostalgia fuck who you aren't really attracted to any more but end up shagging and not feeling any better for it after.
Cos it is so infrequently I didn't notice it as a dependency but since I've taken them less and less and become more aware of my actions I've realized that whenever I feel low I go back to the old habit of taking drugs as an escape. I take them so little now that it is more hassle to 'seek out' drugs than it would be to just find some new hobby which didn't require me to do things which go against my new lifestyle.
Well I want to ween myself off them and nip them in the bud completely I think, at least in terms of depending on them to 'fix' some empty feeling rather than taking them to add to the party in the spur of the moment for example.
Trouble is I've found I lack motivation to do 'normal' stuff like excercising and taking up a hobby. I think this is only a minor thing which I'd easily get over though once I got some momentum I think it was more of a mental laziness and not committing to it and maybe writing this post is the point which I do take responsibility and do it. I was thinking I've been taking drugs in this manner for over 10 years so it is no surprise it will take a little while to learn new habits to fill that space.
I guess it's just baby steps, doing a little of something new regularly to build up new habits and get positive feedback loops going.
Cos it is so infrequently I didn't notice it as a dependency but since I've taken them less and less and become more aware of my actions I've realized that whenever I feel low I go back to the old habit of taking drugs as an escape. I take them so little now that it is more hassle to 'seek out' drugs than it would be to just find some new hobby which didn't require me to do things which go against my new lifestyle.
Well I want to ween myself off them and nip them in the bud completely I think, at least in terms of depending on them to 'fix' some empty feeling rather than taking them to add to the party in the spur of the moment for example.
Trouble is I've found I lack motivation to do 'normal' stuff like excercising and taking up a hobby. I think this is only a minor thing which I'd easily get over though once I got some momentum I think it was more of a mental laziness and not committing to it and maybe writing this post is the point which I do take responsibility and do it. I was thinking I've been taking drugs in this manner for over 10 years so it is no surprise it will take a little while to learn new habits to fill that space.
I guess it's just baby steps, doing a little of something new regularly to build up new habits and get positive feedback loops going.
?) my fav.