All I know is I posted in the anonymous posting area, and now, I can not find it. Before i started bitching and complaining (apologies) I could find the OG thread I had started. It was moved and closed from the anonymous posting area, that's all I know, and once I complained it's disappeared completely; if you search "threads I have posted in"; it no longer exists. My question in so many words, was am I able to take a certain mood leveling pill, that my psychiatrist has prescribed me (I can't remember name off top of my head, and I'm not at my place for a couple more days). My goal: get off meth. Haven't been able to do that. Want to still be able to still smoke weed. Been on meth for 10 months this year and flipped my shit upside down, in so many ways. My psychologist been telling me for a long time now that I have adult add and baisically my goal is to get either a adderall or ritalin script hopefully. Considering I have a sister that has had ADHD all her life and is autistic, plus other factors including that I have about 90-95% symptoms of adult add if you look up online, it makes a lot more sense why I have like amphetamines in general (MDMA since I was 19-29 and recently methAmphetmaine). So my question was that I'm still fucking with meth, but I didn't tell my psychologist that, I told him I only smoke weed. So whatever he prescribed me he said it won't have any negative effects with what I'm doing. So I came on here to ask if there was any known interactions of methamphetamine with the medicine he prescribed me.
I'll find out when home what the name is of the script I got, and hopefully in the meantime, this thread doesn't get closed or deleted. Again my apologies for being a dick. I have noticed that, especially after staying up for about 1 day, going on rants against people on message boards for no apparent reason and find myself apologizing more and more lately. I guess my temper has been coming out more and more lately, and if I feel like i have been wronged by someone, I let them have it. Again I'm sorry. I've been addicted to many different substances now over my lifetime, pretty much my entire adult life so far. Some people think rehab and 12 step is needed, but I know many people, especially with M, that those don't work. I do know that when I decide to really get off meth, after talking with my one good buddies gf who went through this too, I'll need Dr. Supervision to go through the withdrawals. So many people think that meth is so easy to quit, that it's all in your head, and that only heroine addicts have withdrawals; but I can't go mode than 3-5 days max without smoking M now. I get this feeling in my stomach, this urge, butterflies to seek and get it by any means. When I do smoke it, I don't usually get super uppy (unless I been doing it all day and into the night, eventually yea I'll get there) but I feel usually extremely relaxed, calm, and at peace after a couple hits. I know I need to quit, the original chick that I bAisically learned meth from, I later found out was a horrible teacher of the substance. For instance, torching bowls with lighters, mixing different batches from different people in the same bowl, not eating/drinking/sleeping: alone this sent me to the ER 4 times this year, probably within the first 2 months of my meth career. Over the last 8 months from more research on this chemical and interaction with other people that do this did I learn to do all of the opposite as originally learned; force myself to eat, drink water, don't torch bowls, don't mix bowls, and get sleep. Only way I can really get sleep now is benzos, Xanax or Ativan, and I usually only take those after 2-3 day benders only, not everyday. When I was at the ER those 4 times is when I learned about benzos and I think they help me tremendously when I'm twacked out and can't sleep (pretty much like I am now) .
I'm returning to a 10 day school course next month and I'm Hoping that I can get prescribed something by my psychiatrist that will help me with my add issues. Back when I did go to school, I realized I can't read any books, doesn't matter, first paragraph, comprehend, anything after that is reading with the words not meaning anything because I'm thinking about 12 other things in my head. .. School became a challenge at that point, I got my AA then baiscially quit pursing my dreams and passions and went to fill time work sitting behind a desk, no window to the outside world doing estimates for salesman, and eventually that drove me crazy along with doing M and looking hagarrd everyday and everyone knowing it; once I heard my moms cousin talking shit behind my back with another company weasel , I decided fuck that I quit. And even though I'm still doing meth and that's bad, I've never been happier and stress free. Now I just make beats and music at my grandparents house and love life again more, and don't feel as depressed. But I still know that my waltz with the devil is deceiving, and dangerous. I used to be fat, now I'm skinny as fuck, boney, people who haven't seen me for awhile when they do see me they are almost freaked out. This was very apparent to me recently, my friends cousin who is in a rap group saw me, didn't even recognize me at all at first, then called me out on it. He was there once too, so he was like "whoa, you been doing lots of drugs bro, you're sick", he thought it was oxys but no , it's meth for sure. Meth has made me move in with my grandparents from my original place. My original place is now a complete disaster, looks like a bomb went off. It's made me like a leopard to many, friends and family, it's like they almost always want to just stay away from me now. My blood flow is always fucked up, I have different parts of my body that go numb, become cold, or I have sharp pain. Nothing good has come from this drug and is nothing like anything else I have tried before in terms of addictiveness. Coke I thought was addicting at one point. Not even since doing M. The people I have to associate with to get the product, the places I have to go to get, the shady muthefuckers that rob you just to rob you, the constant up and down mods swings, bulging veins, dialated eyes, always sweating, always grinding teeth, and losing baisically respect from everyone including yourself fucking sucks. Sometimes I think someone put a spell on me or a demon is attached to me, yea it sucks. And from my roots where I came from, from what I know is that no one acted like this, no one taught me to be this way in my family it was complete opposite. Someone suggested that someone in my family had a bad past and for whatever reason for what they did, the punishment has now been passed onto me. Perhaps there is or isn't truth to this but one hypothesis that I have heard. That's enough, I honestly am not looking for a pity party, at the end of the day I gotta look out for myself because other people out there really don't care at all if you become a tweaker. They just look and judge you automatically. Much like when I did go to the ER those 4 times, ambulance people, firefighters, and doctors all treated me like I was the worst scum they ever seen. It is what if is, and that's what this shit does to you. I know I'm a addict, need to quit meth in particular but haven't quite figured out what the right plan is for me. I guess right now, keep seeing psych, start taking mood enhancer / leving pills , go back to school and just try my best, and just keep researching and asking other people who have gone through this other suggestions. That's all I got baisically, and this was also why I was originally so mad that my first post was gone, I just wanted information on meth interactions with what I got prescribed, and was pissed when I saw it closed bc of posting guidelines. Again my apologies, I am a dick, I'm selfish, addicted, all I think about is myself, my obsession, my compulsion seems to increase, causing increase in substance use, and only more negative effects eventually over time. This post is entirely too long, my apologies for that as well
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