Chasinglinesonfoil
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2019
- Messages
- 3
Hi all
Just a little background about myself. i have been embroiled in drug addiction since my early teens. At first it was a social thing enjoyed with friends using light drugs, but that quickly progressed as I got older to harder drugs. Through all this i maintained a pretty normal (apart from the fact i was constantly under the influence of some drug) existence going school/work, socialising, relationships. But then around the age of 21 I discovered opiates in the form of oxycontin, which I managed to relatively keep in control, until I discovered via the Internet that they could be smoked on foil. The moment I began chasing oxys on foil it was like I had finally found what I had been looking for all these years and I could be who I always wanted to be. But it was unmanageable and as good as it made me feel it was also the start of my downward spiraling path into oblivion, before I knew it my source started to dry up and I graduated to heroin. And as I'm sure many of you are aware I lost everything including myself.
I developed a strong habit until finally at the age of 26 I decided to do something about it and jumped on a methadone script. But as I was in the same environment, hanging around with the same people. I just developed a coexisting addiction. Fortunately in late 2016 I had the opportunity to move to the north east of England approximately 200 miles from my home town, and finally kick the habit. The day I moved here I quit heroin instantly and just took my methadone, which Imo is just as bad, but was a vital stepping stone in my recovery. Don't get me wrong there would be days where I'd collar the odd homeless guy in town to score a bag, but I made sure I didn't make it a regular thing. After being on predominantly just methadone for a little over a year I was offered a lefexodine detox at home from my drug worker. Which I was told would be painless and super easy, it allowed me to skip the gradual detox and just jump off from 30mgs a day. She was wrong it was 5 weeks of he'll suffering the usual symptoms and then I would say the paws process lasted a further 3-5 months after the initial detox. But I pulled through and also participated in regular NA meetings whilst I was going through the paws process. NA helped but it wasn't for me talking about drugs all the time and reminiscing of the good times, plus I had a habit of focusing my attention on people struggling within the group as potential sources and using buddys, which isn't good lol. And my beliefs and opinions weren't overall appreciated. As I was an ambassador of still enjoying lifes guilty treats but in moderation, where as there principles at NA is complete abstinence.
Anyway 16 months after my detox my life is completely different, I have a job again a great relationship with my family and I somehow managed to get laid a few times. My social circle is very small but maybe that is for the best for now, as because of my past life and what I used to be involved with in order to obtain my drugs, I tend to gravitate and most relate to people within that life, and that's not exactly what I need right now. Don't get me wrong I still smoke a pack a day and I drink maybe a couple of times a month, and I do like to indulge in recreational drug use from time to time including opiates. Only difference is now the time between using is months rather than hours or minutes lol. I'm not fully out of the woods yet by any means, and my addiction for drugs has been replaced by gambling/overeating /smoking more heavily, but I'm on the right path..... a think!
I joined bluelight as I feel I want to give back for all the times I used bluelight forums in the past when i needed them, and I feel my 16 years of being a degenerate drug addict and the places that took me to, to where i am now, may be able to help/advise and guide somebody else going through a similar situation. Or if somebody just needs to talk to someone who has been there and done that I'm here, feel free to get in touch. Maybe some of the NA ethics rubbed off on me after all.
I look forward to hopefully being part of the community and using my personal experiences to help and educate others.
Thanks
F
Just a little background about myself. i have been embroiled in drug addiction since my early teens. At first it was a social thing enjoyed with friends using light drugs, but that quickly progressed as I got older to harder drugs. Through all this i maintained a pretty normal (apart from the fact i was constantly under the influence of some drug) existence going school/work, socialising, relationships. But then around the age of 21 I discovered opiates in the form of oxycontin, which I managed to relatively keep in control, until I discovered via the Internet that they could be smoked on foil. The moment I began chasing oxys on foil it was like I had finally found what I had been looking for all these years and I could be who I always wanted to be. But it was unmanageable and as good as it made me feel it was also the start of my downward spiraling path into oblivion, before I knew it my source started to dry up and I graduated to heroin. And as I'm sure many of you are aware I lost everything including myself.
I developed a strong habit until finally at the age of 26 I decided to do something about it and jumped on a methadone script. But as I was in the same environment, hanging around with the same people. I just developed a coexisting addiction. Fortunately in late 2016 I had the opportunity to move to the north east of England approximately 200 miles from my home town, and finally kick the habit. The day I moved here I quit heroin instantly and just took my methadone, which Imo is just as bad, but was a vital stepping stone in my recovery. Don't get me wrong there would be days where I'd collar the odd homeless guy in town to score a bag, but I made sure I didn't make it a regular thing. After being on predominantly just methadone for a little over a year I was offered a lefexodine detox at home from my drug worker. Which I was told would be painless and super easy, it allowed me to skip the gradual detox and just jump off from 30mgs a day. She was wrong it was 5 weeks of he'll suffering the usual symptoms and then I would say the paws process lasted a further 3-5 months after the initial detox. But I pulled through and also participated in regular NA meetings whilst I was going through the paws process. NA helped but it wasn't for me talking about drugs all the time and reminiscing of the good times, plus I had a habit of focusing my attention on people struggling within the group as potential sources and using buddys, which isn't good lol. And my beliefs and opinions weren't overall appreciated. As I was an ambassador of still enjoying lifes guilty treats but in moderation, where as there principles at NA is complete abstinence.
Anyway 16 months after my detox my life is completely different, I have a job again a great relationship with my family and I somehow managed to get laid a few times. My social circle is very small but maybe that is for the best for now, as because of my past life and what I used to be involved with in order to obtain my drugs, I tend to gravitate and most relate to people within that life, and that's not exactly what I need right now. Don't get me wrong I still smoke a pack a day and I drink maybe a couple of times a month, and I do like to indulge in recreational drug use from time to time including opiates. Only difference is now the time between using is months rather than hours or minutes lol. I'm not fully out of the woods yet by any means, and my addiction for drugs has been replaced by gambling/overeating /smoking more heavily, but I'm on the right path..... a think!
I joined bluelight as I feel I want to give back for all the times I used bluelight forums in the past when i needed them, and I feel my 16 years of being a degenerate drug addict and the places that took me to, to where i am now, may be able to help/advise and guide somebody else going through a similar situation. Or if somebody just needs to talk to someone who has been there and done that I'm here, feel free to get in touch. Maybe some of the NA ethics rubbed off on me after all.
I look forward to hopefully being part of the community and using my personal experiences to help and educate others.
Thanks
F
